tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-103175102024-03-23T11:08:59.566-07:00Polite CompanyReligion. Politics. Sex. A bit of science. Motorcycles. Hockey. Some other stuff you shouldn't talk about in polite company.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.comBlogger860125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-59551253631557788082017-11-09T18:08:00.002-08:002017-11-09T18:08:57.108-08:00HomeThe isolation was expected; the lonliness was not.<br /><br />
Even so, the work that now had to be done by a single person filled much of Daniil's time. The solar collector had fallen out of true because of something getting into the gears - some of the perpetual dust in this place, no doubt - and the motor driving the contraption was reluctant to move correctly.<br />
<br />
Everything they had moved slowly and gently: after all, if one broke it's not like they could simply order another.<br />
<br />
The mission would take years to finish, and everything that could be planned for had been, as much as possible. When Luis had died, there was a plan. He was left, frozen in nearly the coldest temperatire that could be, and there he would remain until the ship returned home.<br />
<br />
The vast shadow of the hundred-metre wide panel brought him back to the task at hand. He messaged that Commander Osvaldo Luis Renato Sousa had suffered... a stroke? Heart attack? Daniil was unqualified to say, and less able to do anything to save him. Medical gear available once they had built the base wasn't accessible in the rocket itself. He had contemplated burying him on this distant moon, something the two of them had joked about during training; but that was obviously never going to happen. Couldn't have Earthling bacteria disturbing whatever ecosystem might be discovered here.<br />
<br />
At the stem of the rotation joint, he saw that indeed a small clip had broken, and there was a gap allowing dust to collect inside. He removed it completely, squeezed a can of pressurized air at the dust until it was clear, then replaced the panel, taping it down before stepping back and trying the remote control. The collector moved slowly into place, and he imagined the groaning of metal that the structure would have been made of in a thicker atmosphere and higher gravity. It was noiseless here, of course; but if he concentrated, Daniil thought he could feel the vibration through his feet.<br />
<br />
It was to be the two of them, sent out on a mission that could have been performed by robots, certainly; but it was very hard for robots to give interviews that would inspire the world. This, in the end, is what decided the cause for sending humans into space at all, despite the far easier packing and launch of mechanical explorers. It was also cheaper when there was no need to send an entire biosphere, or to worry about a return trip.<br />
<br />
But without people, without pilots - without astronauts - interest faded in the general population. A marvelous and frightening Catch-22 happened: it was harder to get funding for the cheaper automated flights than for the staggeringly expensive manned ones.<br /><br />
So here he was, in his oxygen-rich, pressurized, heated home-away-from-home for the next few years, unincluding the return. In a space carefully designed for two that now couldn't have them both in it. Luis' body was kept outside the station, perpetually in shadow but protected from the world's dust inside his suit. Daniil didn't know what else to do for him.<br /><br />
They had brought along entertainment, of course: each had hundreds of books in lap-sized readers to go along with computer games and personal journals; but they also received messages from home. It was nice to hear the voice of your family with a fresh message, outside from the pre-recorded videos they had brought. And very soon the little moon would move out of the gas giant's shadow, and they would be receiving new messages.<br />
<br />
Eventually, the Earth will be on one side of the Sun, and they the other. The times when their moon would be blocked by the planet below were at least relatively short; much shorter than the long silence to come. Everyone knew and planned for this, of course - anything as predictable as the movement of planets was easy - and they were going to take full advantage of it.<br />
<br />
A small bell sounded, and he realized that the messages had downloaded while he was lost in thought. He eagerly opened his mail, quickly looking over the titles of the things sent, trying to guess what story they told before looking further. Half of them came with a warning to NOT BE OPENED UNTIL various dates days apart from each other. He half-smiled: he'd try, but no promises.<br />
<br />
There was also a message from Luis' mother. He, Daniil, was to go ahead and open all the messages to her son, and use them to believe he was still there, in the base. Daniil hadn't looked at his friend's mail, wanting to leave it unopened for their return. He opened it now.<br />
<br />
A television studio kitchen appeared, with a live audience clapping, and Daniil laughed out loud: Luis had talked about learning how to cook when he got back from this mission, so his mother must have sent this along to encourage him.<br />
<br />
The announcer was speaking quickly, and Daniil couldn't follow, but when the camera panned over the ingredients on the counter, he saw that they were all pre-packaged meals that had come with them on the flight. She must have talked a celebrity chef into doing special episodes just for Luis, recording them all before they had even left Earth! The voice-over got faster and increased in pitch, and Daniil found himself laughing and clapping along with the audience as the camera zoomed in on the chef bursting forth from the curtains, through a big purple COZINHANDO COM AMOR!<br />
<br />
It was Luis' mother. She was going to teach her son to cook, even if it was from a billion kilometers away.<br />
<br />
Daniil stopped the video and sat until he could see clearly again. Then he looked at the ingredients, wrote down what they were, and gathered them in the small galley, bringing his tablet with him.<br />
<br />
He hit play and concentrated.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-12369564031283026952017-09-16T10:06:00.005-07:002017-11-09T18:08:43.713-08:00Locked TightJuly 13, 2017<br />
RE: Incident on Oak Street Bridge, July 13, 2017, 3:25 PM<br />
<br />
Interview conducted at Granville Downtown South Community Policing Centre<br />
<br />
Questioning of two suspects, one male one female, at 4:45 PM<br />
<br />
Male Suspect transcript follows:<br />
<br />
Suspect: Have you ever been in love officer? Really in love?<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: No sure we've all had that. I don't mean that I mean really in love. Like really really. No no really. Because love real love like that inspires great moments from people. Great big dramatic symbolic moments of of of inspiration.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: I'm getting to the knife officer thank you. I hadn't forgotten. Everything leads to everything else I think you'll find if given enough time to get there.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Oh fine then. It's all the locket's fault.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: The heart-shaped locket with a picture of each of us inside on a gold chain. Surely even you realize the symbolism of that?<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Could have surprised me. Just making sure as the locket shares the burden of guilt with love. Pure mad love sweet and effervescent -<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: I'm not sure how talkative applies to love but it is a fine word. As I was saying. We had had some slight disagreement over my last symbolic gesture I made to my lady love and so I -<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: That's the one. Consequently I promised to make them smaller and as she put it more discrete though I prefer the term intimate. I had asked her to meet me on the Capilano Suspension Bridge but neither of us could get there with our vehicles getting impounded because of the uh ah the -<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Yes that though I prefer the term making love if you please. They may be inanimate objects but there's no reason to be crude about it. The bridge on Oak Street was a reasonable compromise in that we could walk there and it was a bridge. I brought along a special gift for her and indeed for us that I would show her when we reached the exact middle of the span nine hundred twenty metres if you feel the need to know and there we would be joined in a beautiful unbreakable union.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Of course not the knife! What do you think I am crazy? Well? Well? Well?<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Let me ask you something then officer. Have you ever travelled to the City of Light? Ah Paris! There was a glorious tradition there on the Pont des Arts bridge of couples together putting a padlock on the bridge and tossing the keys into the water below. It is a beautiful gesture only slightly marred by the city cutting the fencing away because forty five tonnes of locks were damaging the bridge structure.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Yes well this was somewhat less wasn't it? Three ounces or something. And I wanted to put one lock on rather than thousands. If others wanted to follow my lead then they would merely be pale imitations of the original.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Original here, I mean. The first in a new place is still an original. Hey no offence but what exactly are the educational requirements to be a police officer? In any case when the GPS alert on my phone told me we were in the exact middle I stopped her and held forth the lock engraved with our names and handed her one of the keys. It was beautiful although a bit warm after walking that far in the middle of the day. The wind was nice.<br />
[Pause]<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: I am reliving that perfect and wonderful moment in my mind. It went a bit sideways after that.<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Yes well yes this is sort of the bit where the knife gets involved but that's just a little later if you will. Once we caught our breath we talked about it and decided to snap the lock shut while we both held it and throw the keys into the water together at the same time. Even more romantically we would kiss as it closed joining our lips together even as the shackle firmly entered its snug home forever.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: In your opinion. We on the other hand found it to be a beautiful moment. Very symbolic. It was shortly after that when we realized that the locket -<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: The same. When we leaned out to toss the keys off the bridge said locket swung forward, looping into the shackle as we closed it.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Quite a long chain since she wears it out of sight of everyone unless we are together, symbolizing that our love needs not be -<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: That's not very nice. As it happens the wind had blown her hair rather dramatically during our walk and it was rather nastily entangled in the locket chain which wasn't helped by her pulling at it when neither of us could reach the clasp.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Not right away but when the officer who arrested us showed up we had been arguing about what to do about it for three hours. I understand how having a knife in my hand while yelling at an apparently captive woman in the middle of a bridge might look alarming to passers by but it was entirely innocent.<br />
<br />
[Oficer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: Except she didn't want me to cut off any of her hair which I think was a bit unreasonable of her.<br />
<br />
[Officer speaks]<br />
<br />
Suspect: In retrospect I'd have to say that larger romantic gestures are on the whole safer than smaller ones. In my experience.<br />
<br />
End transcript.<br />
<br />
Female Suspect was questioned after.<br />
Female Suspect transcript follows:<br />
<br />
Suspect: He's such a dork.<br />
<br />
End transcript.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-9634891060052295532016-06-03T11:59:00.003-07:002016-06-03T12:02:02.239-07:00This is Getting StupidI know what the arguments are. I've heard them, I've seen them.<br />
They're dumb.<br />
Really, really, dumb.<br />
<br />
Anyone who thinks of themselves as progressive or liberal or lefty in any way but STILL insists that having Trump as President of the United States is a good thing is either lying to themselves, lying to people they're talking to, or has given up on the whole 'thinking' part of what they're saying.<br />
<br />
Should she get the nomination (and it looks like she will) Clinton will be running the most left-wing campaign in 40 years. And that, in a large way, is thanks to the successful Sanders campaign. The Democrats in power, the DNC, and all the hidden folks no one sees know what that populism has done for their base. They can, believe it or not, see it on the television just like everyone else does; and they'll be perfectly happy to tap into it.<br />
<br />
Note: that's what SUCCESSFUL campaigns do. They draw people to them.<br />
<br />
And this leads to perhaps the 'smartest'(?) argument of the Bernie Alone crowd: the idea that somehow the population will suddenly turn to the left after seeing the nightmare that would be a Trump presidency.<br />
<br />
It doesn't work that way. Seriously, it just doesn't. It never has, and it never will.<br />
<br />
Bill Clinton beat the First Bush by moving right politically, which included compromise policies during his time in office and during his campaigns. He won because the political right was winning, so he moved towards them enough to get the votes he needed to get in power in the first place. The Second Bush won (barely) by... well, I'm pretty sure you know the history.<br />
<br />
In short: a Trump win would push the Democrats to the political right, not left. They have to win before they can enact any policies - that's not something to forget. All those 'progressives' who will stay at home? Why the hell would anyone try to get your votes? You stay at home! You don't vote, so you literally don't matter in an election.<br />
<br />
As for stupider arguments, those are easy to find, too. I've seen one saying that whoever sits on the Supreme Court is irrelevant, because they die off all the time. To which I say: whay rulings have been delayed because of the current gridlock? Oh, yeah: reproductive rights, voting rights, education funding, freedom from religion in the workplace, immigrant rights...<br />
<br />
So, sure, if none of those matter, then you're absolutely correct. Otherwise, you're wrong. But you're probably wealthy enough (hello, Susan Sarandon! You're an idiot!) to remain unaffected in your personal life by any of those decisions. Laws affect the poor in their daily lives far more than they do the rich or middle class.<br />
<br />
I've seen another argument saying that it 'won't be that bad' if Trump is president. To which... Dude. Okay, I think he's a better <i>person</i> than Ted Cruz, but only because he's ignorantly evil rather than actively evil.<br />
<br />
Otherwise, Trump is a void waiting to be filled by whatever happens to be around him. He is a man with no ideas for running a government. None. He has no policies, he has no priorities, and he never had any intention of winning the nomination, never mind the general election. He will sign whatever piece of paper is thrust in front of him by whoever screams his praises loudest - and when you're in Washington, D.C. that means some professional level bootlickers. He will not care what the policy is so long as he gets his 10:30 AM rimming on schedule.<br />
<br />
And that policy is going to be made by people who have no fear of lying to his face. Politically speaking, he is going to be the most easily manipulated president since Warren "Gee-he's-pretty-bet-I-can-make-him-president" Harding.<br />
<br />
Internationally? He's got skin so thin they'd be bragging about it in any culinary school. Slices of Trump, hold it up to the light and you can see right through it. Think Putin wouldn't walk big, slow circles around him?<br />
<br />
Then there's the argument that Clinton is a Hawk - aggressive on international policy, and prone to war. That's certainly possible, given her stance as Secretary of State. But perhaps you should look up who <a href="http://politecompany.blogspot.ca/2005/04/politics-storytime.html" target="_blank">The Vulcans</a> are, and why they are all Republicans. And if you're concerned about war, perhaps you shouldn't elect the man who throws tamper tantrums when he can't build a golf course in Scotland; or through inaction allow him to get elected.<br />
<br />
Just a thought.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-85453745755806806582016-04-15T11:33:00.002-07:002016-06-03T11:07:42.198-07:00<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="ev6db" data-offset-key="ba637-0-0" style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ba637-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="ba637-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">It's been a while since I read comic books outside of a graphic novel format, but I am loving Steve Attewell's <a href="http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2016/04/a-peoples-history-of-the-marvel-universe-week-9-the-mutant-metaphor-part-i#more-81702" target="_blank">People's History of the Marvel Universe</a>!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="ev6db" data-offset-key="1f8j1-0-0" style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1f8j1-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Marvel's use of mutants-as-metaphor is assumed to have always been, but the ground he covers here (and in previous parts) shows how an idea can form over time in a serial, unlike in a novel or film. The evolution *ahem* of characters and how they might fit is a great look back when we know them as they are now. Looking at Magneto's original behaviour and comparing it to the arch-villain and master manipulator he is now is straight-up night and day.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="ev6db" data-offset-key="9gq11-0-0" style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9gq11-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span data-offset-key="9gq11-0-0">A solid reminder that sometimes the best stories can take a while to find their feet. </span>The films we're getting now? Fifty years in the making. And it's a pretty cool trip!</span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-75035382248934924712016-04-04T19:55:00.000-07:002016-04-04T19:56:16.657-07:00Paper or Not, Here it Comes!<div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">So.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">Trying something a little different: some of you have read my writing (and actually liked it for reasons perhaps best left unasked) so I thought I'd put a bunch of words together and see what came out at the end. For money, yet.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">For the next 90 days, I'm going to be selling pre-orders of a 'hard SF' story I've been kicking around for a few years. I'll be putting up sample chapter drafts as I finish them - they might not be the final piece, but it could be interesting to<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"> see how much changes between stages. I know I'm curious to find out!</span></span></span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: black; display: inline;">
<span style="color: white;"><div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
If this goes well, there's another dozen semi-manuscripts running around my ankles here, and it would be nice to find them homes, too.</div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
If you'd like to try a sample, the first chapter of (nine so far) is here:</div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<a href="https://www.inkshares.com/books/farm-boy" target="_blank">Farm Boy</a></div>
</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-27382114004638617502016-03-31T11:15:00.000-07:002016-03-31T11:15:07.360-07:00Original TheftThere is a saying that some people think is useful to newly creative people: "Don't copy others, because it'll stop you from finding your own voice!"<br /><br />This is nonsense.<br />
<br />
It's nonsense in the same way some people think following stylistic rules will somehow hamper the imagination or stifle creativity. Sure, 'rules were made to be broken' is a fine thing to say (and occasionally do); but if you don't understand why those rules exist, then you have no idea if breaking them might be a good idea. Without understanding them, you won't know how to break them <i>effectively</i>, and if you're breaking rules, you're doing it for effect.<br />
<br />
No, when you are starting any new project, learn the rules. How you learn best is by copying people who DO know what they're doing. This is true for a lot of different things: watch someone build an engine, then build it with them (if you can), then try for yourself while carefully following the instructions from a manual. Then when you understand why it's built that way - what the final purpose of the engine is - you'll have the knowledge to modify it, in pieces or entirely. Or maybe just build the same thing again, just in your way.<br /><br />But try building one from scratch and you're probably going to end up with something that sputters feebly, or shakes itself to death, or doesn't start at all. And most of us want to roar.<br />
<br />
I bring this up because of the dying of both comedian Gary Shandling and Ronnie Corbett, of The Two Ronnies fame. Well, maybe not fame any more, as their show was on many, many years ago; but certainly of fond memories. I caught their show because of KVOS showing them when the parents weren't home to monitor my TV consumption.<br /><br />(Side note: I'd like to thanks KVOS for shaping lots of childhood memories for me. Without them, I wouldn't have seen to much good comedy: MASH, Barney Miller, Monty Python. And for my first Celebrity Girlfriend, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm225941504/tt0077089" target="_blank">Elaine</a> from Taxi.)<br />
<br />
Watching The Two Ronnies was an object lesson in wordplay, delivery, and most especially in timing. Not only did I copy out their sketches word-for-word (or what I could remember of them), I also listened for their silences and how they were used. What was the most effective time to deliver a punchline, and when was it best to do a rapid-fire back and forth, and how to steamroll effectively so the audience comes along with you instead of being left behind.<br />
<br />
They even copied their <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cz2-ukrd2VQ" target="_blank">most famous sketch</a> - or at least Ronnie Corbett did - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAG39jKi0lI" target="_blank">years later</a>. The Four Candles(?) sketch was as sacrosanct as anything in comedy, and here they are changing it while showing the audience they knew exactly what they were doing.<br />
<br />
As for Gary Shandling, his amazing The Larry Sanders Show absolutely crushed the barriers between audience and performer; featured an unlikable, successful star that you pitied more than anything else; and had changing formats and styles inside the episodes themselves. Still, somehow, it worked and worked brilliantly. He changed the rules by showing how breaking them could still fit the most rigid and timid format TV has (it was, after all, a sit-com). Having brilliant guests <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uqLRkQ7OSA" target="_blank">guests helped</a>, of course; but it was easy to convince them to come on to the bottom-rated cable show because of what the show was. Six seasons and a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Larry_Sanders_Show#Guests" target="_blank">Who's Who</a> of appearances to rack up with the awards it won brought HBO tons of credibility; but it wouldn't have happened without someone who understood the rules deeply and knew where they were most vulnerable.<br />
<br />
Writing, acting, painting... go ahead and copy the masters, new and old. They <i>are</i> masters for a reason: learn everything you can from them - most especially see what rules they break - and explore why they do it. And that will help you find your own expression with a nice, solid base to launch from.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-41955534426020619812016-03-24T21:41:00.000-07:002016-03-24T21:41:22.712-07:00August Parody (This is a Biggun!)<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
August: Cowichan County</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
A Shawnigan Players Parody</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<u>Prologue</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i>The scene takes place
inside Beverly's study in the Weston home. He, a dissolute and aged
wastrel, is interviewing a younger woman who, and we can't stress
this enough, is NOT IN BROWNFACE. Seriously, don't even think of
that. I don't care if your "great-grandfather was one-eigth
Pawnee, just don't.</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0.74cm; text-indent: -0.77cm;">
Beverly: Beat me and bite me and teach me to bark</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.08cm;">
I looked in the ocean, and there saw the shark.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.08cm;">
I looked at the shark and it showed me its jaws,</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.08cm;">
And that is the reason I'm not, though I was.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.08cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Beverly reaches into his desk and pulls out a bunsen burner</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i> </i>Dennis Lee. Sharks aren't
much of a threat here, but I don't suppose they're really much of a
threat outside of films that encourage the supposed "busting"
of "blocks", are they?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>During the next speech, he puts surgical tubing, a small baggie
filled with crystals, an empty syrnge, and a striker for the burner
on the table.</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Still, I suppose he had quite enough of alligators to last him
several lifetimes. To each our degeneracy, and his was poems. Mine,
too. Lucky bastard hit on a winning formula at a time when poems
were actually read and no one told him to put it to music.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>He ignites gets a spoon out and delicately places some crystals
into it.</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
I don't suppose you're a hopeless junky, Miss...?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Monevata. No, sir.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Beverly: Not a poet, then.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>He does a casual loop around his arm, lights the burner, and
begins to melt the crystals</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
You should be. Great racket. Beats cleaning houses or looking
after old psychopaths for a living, that's for sure.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Violet shrieks from off stage, a voiceless howl</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Speak of the devil and she will surely hear. <i>To offstage</i>
WHAT!?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Violet appears at the top of the stairs, sees Jonna, and howls</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
I don't understand you, dear.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: Stop! Hammer time!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>She Hammer Dances out of sight. Beverly looks disgusted</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Beverly: I suppose the Furious Five was too much to hope for. You'll
have to excuse my wife – she occasionally thinks she's a rap artist
from the early 80s. Try not to be too discerning, if you would be
kind. And now I see my concotion is ready, and will be off to the
land of nod. Ta!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>He cinches up and injects himself, leaning back with a sigh</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Alligator pie, alligator pie, alligator pie, alligator pie...</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: So, I guess I'm hired, then? Hello?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene One</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Mattie Fae, Ivy, and Charlie are seated in the kitchen, shivering.
Charlie is watching a baseball game on TV</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: He's buggered off before, so there's nothing to panic
about. Isn't that right, Charlie?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: Usually in his own brain, though.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: I've told Violet, I said to her she should hunt down
where he keeps his stash and make him use it all at once.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: Now that would just kill him.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: Serve him right, too.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: You don't kill a man for wanderin' off once or twice.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: He did more than that! I introduced those two, you
know.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: You did not introduce him to Violet.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: I meant I intorduced him to smack.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: Oh, yeah. That you did do.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Really? So you knew him when he was coherent?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: He was never that – he was a poet even back then, so
none of us ever knew what the hell he was talking about. Great lay,
though.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: What?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: When did Violet get intereted in Hendrix?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: How do you mean?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: The posters covering all the windows. <i>He reads them </i>
Band of Gypsys, Midnight Lightning, Jimmi Hendrix Experience, Loose
Ends. Can't be easy to sleep with all those colours staring at you!
And the faces. All the faces. The faces that are just one face,
looking at you. Judging you from the walls. The walls.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>He stares at the television</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
The walls. Judging you. Judging.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: Whew, I'm sweatin' in here! All my sweat's poolin' up
in uncomfortable places. Feel my butt crack!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: I don't wanna feel your butt crack.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>She sways her butt hypnotically in front of him</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: Feel it. Feel it! Feeeeeel iiiiiiit!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: Is it kicking in already? Usually takes about fifteen,
twenty minutes. But time, you know?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Uh, guys? My dad? Plus, I'm kinda in the room, here.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: The walls.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: Oh, it ain't that big! Now feel it!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Yep, I'm leaving.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: I can't believe you're just sitting there getting stoned
out of your nut when we have a situation here. Specifically with me
being horny right this second. Now get off your ass and onto mine.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: Where you goin'?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: The kitchen. I'm gonna open drawers at random and see
what's handy. Come on!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: Whadda need me for? I got the Teletubbies on!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: You know I like an audience. Besides, that's a baseball
game.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: <i>Fascinated</i> It is?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: Yeah, the Royals.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Charlie screams and runs away to the kitchen, Mattie Fae following</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: Hello? Is anyone here?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Seeing no one, she goes to the liquor cabinet and pours herself
several ounces</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Now that I got me some Seagram's Gin,
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Everybody's got their cups but they ain't chipped in.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
This type a shit happens all the time</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
You got to get yours? Fool, I got to get mine.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene Two</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Barbara and Bill are standing on the front porch to the house with
small suitcases</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Where the fuck is she?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: What? Who? Not here! Wait, who?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Our daughter, dumbass.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Right, of course. Hotboxing the car, I think.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: She'd better be able to walk her ass over here before I
knock on this goddamn door.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: She'll be fine. Built up a pretty high tolerance for it by
now.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Just like her parents. I tell you about the spliff?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: The spliff?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Mom caught the us girls sparking up, and she was furious.
It was this tiny little pinner, about as big around as your dick -</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: All right...</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: - but she made us sit in a closet and finish Judy's whole
stash in one go. Wouldn't let us out of the closet until it was all
burned up.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Well that's terri- Wait, who's Judy?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: She asphixiated before we could finish it all.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Um. Wow.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Her fault for being so tall. Would have been horrific, but
all that pot really took the edge off. About fuckin' time!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Whatever, man.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Here we go. <i>She walks into the house</i> Mom? Hey!
Ho-bag!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Mattie Fae and Charlie enter</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: Barbara!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Hi, Aunt Mattie. That the kitchen? You been fuckin'
utinsils again?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: You know it!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: <i>With a significant look at Bill </i> I've done worse.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: All right, now...</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: Hey. Cool skin, man.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Hi, Charlie.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charlie: Yeah. Looks... wild, man. Wild.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Ivy and Violet enter</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Oh, thank God you're here! She's been asking for you all
morning.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: BARBARA!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>She starts dancing</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i> </i>They come from miles around
to check out the sound</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Watch the walls come tumblin' down</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Kid 'n' Play is the perfect team</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Now's the time to let off some steam.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Great.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene Three</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Jonna's room. She's in bed holding up a book with one hand while
the other is out of sight. She seems oddly flushed.</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Knock, knock.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Jonna leaps about a foot off the bed, nearly throwing the book
across the room. She tries to find it, spots where it landed and
scrambles to retrieve it</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Nothing! Nothing going on!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Mind if I come in?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: No! What?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Cool.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Jonna panics and pulls the covers off the bed, hastily wrapping
herself in them as Jean enters</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Uh. Hi.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Cool dress. Is that, like, Indian or something?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: ...Sure.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Mind if I hang out in your room a while?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Actually, I was kinda in the middle of something...</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Oh, cool! Was it, like, some kinda ritual your people do?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Among others.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: So, you do it alone?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Frequently.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Can I watch?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: How old are you?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Fourteen. Ish.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Nope.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: My parents really suck, you know.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Bummer. Get out.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene Four</u></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Bill and Barbara's room. Bill enters, waving a book of poems
while Barbara makes their bed</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Hey, would you look at this!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Not lookin'.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Hardcover origanal printing, signed by Beverly!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Don't care.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Aw, it's even dedicated to Violet. That's sweet!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Fuck off.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Bill reads from the book</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: "I saw the best minds from my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the
negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix."</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>He looks at the cover</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i> </i>Um. This, uh, this seems...
This is Beverly's poems, right?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: What.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: They seem kinda familiar is all.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Why does everyone keep saying that?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: I'll ask him when he gets back.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: <i>Pulling
back the sheets of their bed</i>
Like that'll happen. Get in. Let's see if Little Missy managed to
teach you anything new.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Barbara?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Get in the bed, bitch!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene Five</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Dark, then blue lights from outside the house start to flash.
Jonna enters</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Hey. Hey! Sheriff's here.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: <i>Off
stage</i> Fuck!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Hm? Why are the police here? We didn't do anything that
weird!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: <i>Crawling
out from under the bed</i>
Speak for yourself.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Should I try waking up whoever?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Nah, let her sleep it off. We don't need Ice-T showing up
when we're talking to the cops.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Cool.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Jean runs by, her arms full</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: I suddenly really have to go to the bathroom!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>A toilet flushes</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: What the fuck?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Let her go. Let's deal with the po-po.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>They go down stairs where Sheriff Gilbeau is waiting</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Hi, I'm Bill.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Oh my God, you're hot!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Pardon?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>A toilet flushes</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Barbara. Goddess. You are everything to me.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Do I know you?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: <i>Tears
streaming from his eyes</i>
She speaks to me!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Yeah, you're that weirdly uptight kid with the really hot
dad!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Gilbeau's eyes roll back in spontaneous orgasm</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Ah! Ah! Ohhhh! My life is complete! I die in ecstacy!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: So, about Beverly?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Oh, yeah. He's dead.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Barbara sobs and collapses</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: Smooth delivery you've got there.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Oops.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>A toilet flushes</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: So he's really dead? Not faking it somehow?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Know anyone who can hold their breath for three days?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: I don't think so.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: You don't.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Barbara gathers herself and stands</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: I'll go tell Jean.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>A toilet flushes as she goes back upstairs</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean? Jean, honey?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Busy! I'm suddenly really, really sick!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Your grandpa's dead, sweetie.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>A toilet flushes</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: What? Grandpa's dead?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: That's right, dear.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Pause</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: That's what they're here for?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Yes, dear.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Pause</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Dammit!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Violet enters down stairs</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: Yuh tha Gilbooo boy, heay? DEEEEon.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Close enough.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: Beverly bouncin'?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Ma'am?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Violet begins dancing</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: I gotta love jones for your body and your skin tone</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
five minutes alone I'm already on the bone.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Plus I love the fact you've got a mind of your own</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
no need to shop around, you got the good stuff at home.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<b>Act II</b></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene All of Them</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Barbara sets up a dinner table while Karen monologues</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: So then I said to Karen (the other Karen, not me) that
Kimberly should have had to go to the convention instead of her
(Karen, the other one) instead because that was what she'd been
promised what with the trouble Katie (with an ie not a y) had been,
y'know? And then STEVE, oh my God STEVE, he went ahead and jumped in
and said... you know what he said?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Sure?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: No! He said "sure"! Isn't that amazing? That's
how I just know he's absolutely perfect for me. For us, really;
after all isn't he joining the family? So he's really for all of us,
at least that's how I look at it. Take right now, for instance: he's
not here, is he?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: No?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: No! Because he's out making contacts and getting booze so we
can survive the nightmarish hellscape that is our family! Isn't that
just the best?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Why not.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: It is the best, seriously.
Seriously. And he's the best. He's off helping us as soon as he
heard help was needed and he gets me all the amphetamines I could
ever use – well, not that I could <i>ever</i>
use, I guess, but you know what I mean. I mean, you might not know
what I mean, but the meaning is there nevertheless.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Do you ever shut up?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: Whether you understand the meaning or you interpret it
differently isn't really my problem, unless I want to communicate
with you. And that's really the crux of it, isn't it? Everything
that is communication between two people is left as an ultimately
uncertain event, as we never truly know how well the message we had
intended to send was received.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Jesus Fuckstick, you don't.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: Marshall Mcluhan said that the medium is the message, but so
many people get that wrong! They think he was talking about how a
message was delivered was suddenly as important or even more
important than the information was being conveyed. And that's just
silly, you know?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: Sorry I missed the funeral, dad.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charles: It was a downer. Uncool.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: I really wanted to be there.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charles: I grok you, man. It's all good.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: Then there's the ultimate filtering from thought to
expression to hearing to understanding, and our culture and
everything that inhabits that culture is the filter through which
every stage forces that message. It's all around us, even if we
don't think about it of even fully understand that it's there.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: ...and when Florida Man hit, it was big. We managed to
monetize some of that, but it's been really hard to recapture the
magic of Grumpy Cat.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: What did you say you do again?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Memes. We figure out what's going to be hot over the next
couple of hours and flood the internet with images, letting other
people make all our content.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: You make money off this?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Grumpy Cat brought in over $20 million dollars in two years.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: What?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Charlie Bit My Finger was an inspiration to us all.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: When he's referring to 'medium' it's probably better to think
of it as in the chemistry term 'medium', or what the chemical in
question is suspended in. So when STEVE, oh my God STEVE mentioned
memes to me I started thinking about the molarity concentration of
solutions and asked him if he saw the internet and that social
sharing as a solution to distribute memes in he looked at me kinda
funny (SO funny!) and said – you know what he said?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Sure?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: NO! He said 'sure'! Isn't that adoreable?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Oh for fuck's sake.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Glad you could... come.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: You make it <i>hard</i>
for me to miss.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: If you attended the funeral, dad wouldn't be the only thing
soaking wet for three days.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: Or stiff for longer.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: You might want to see a doctor about that.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: Too subtle?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: Tiny, you can sit at the kids' table.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: Am I being punished?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Want to be?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: Your name's Little Charles. How is it you think I like
you at all?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: I can sit on his lap!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: Again.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Mattie Fae: Get out of my sight, you disgusting creature.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Hey, who's the little hottie?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: My daughter.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Intoriduce me?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: How much of the $20 million did you get?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: So ANYway, then Karen (other Karen, not me) gets all huffy
about Kimberly managing to get out of going to the convention because
of some ancient problem Katie had (with an ie not a y). Actually,
her problem started with a K and ended with an aren, and NOT other
Karen, but she totally deserved it.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Well, hey there.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: I'll blow you for a Xanax.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: I heard you like old- what?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: I'm jonesing in a serious way, here. I had to flush my stash
when the cops showed up.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Well you are in luck. I just happen to have contacts who are
importing some fine stuff from Russia called krokodil, and it's
taking the streets by storm.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Isn't that the stuff that eats your skin?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Sure, there's side effects; but the profit margin is through
the roof! And how cool is it to shoot up stuff from Russia? Pretty
awesome...</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: I'll let you know.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Violet enters from upstairs</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: It's the hard knock life for us. It's the hard knock life
for us.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Oo, I know this one!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: Stead a' treated, we get tricked! Stead a' kisses we get
kicked! It's the hard knock life.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Steve: Annie! I love Annie!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: That would be weird.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: Don't know how to sleep, gotta eat, stay on my toes</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Got a lot a beef, so logically prey on my foes.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Hustling's still inside of me</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
And as far as progress you'll be hard pressed</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
To find a rapper hot as me.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Charles: Who's she talking to? Is it the bugs? It's the bugs,
isn't it?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: I gave you prophecy in my first joint and y'all lamed out.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Didn't really appreciate it 'till the second came out.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
So I stretched the game out, Xed your name out,</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Put a jigger on top and drop albums non-stop for ya now.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Barbara stands up and attacks Violet, eventually throwing her to
the ground amidst yells and general chaos. Eventually, she stands
over her prone mother</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: West Coast, Bitch!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<b>Act III</b></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene One</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Barbara and Ivy are drinking heavily while Karen speaks</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: It's not just that the medium that the message is moving in
can change what the message is, it's that it does change what the
message is perceived to be simply because of how we perceive, and
send, communications. Y'see, talking is a universal message, right?
It's like something we all do, right?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Where was she when Tupac was shot, any way?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Don't know, don't care; but if she starts chanelling Tim
Dog I'm taking her out for good.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: Great example! Like rap was originally talking, really. Even
the singing was just whatever instruments were at hand, but more
commonly no instruments at all. Then instead of instruments,
completed music was used, but in pieces; so what you used were parts
of other completed songs, which had their own messages. So the
artists new message was infused with the message that the song they
were using had already conveyed, but only if the listener was
familiar with that previous song.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Hey, Ivy; are you boning Little Charles?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Maybe.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Dude.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Oh, drat! How did you know?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Even Karen could tell.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Karen pauses to nod at Ivy</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: The same song could have several messages delivered,
depending on not only whether the sampled piece was known to the
listener, but what they thought of the that song and associations
they had with it.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: He is your cousin, you know.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Really. I had no idea.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: So what are you planning to do about it?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: We're going to New York.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: The fuck are you going to do there?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Charles wants to sign on with
Bad Boy Records. <i>Barbara
stands</i> I'm kidding!
Suge Knight all the way!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: See? Knowing what we know changes how each of us might
receive the message, but also the intent of the message sent! Now
that's just a small part of it, and I've probably spent WAY too much
time on that part.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: No shit.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: It's because the references go well beyond the individual,
which Mcluhan was actually not very concerned with, and into the
society at large. It's the effects of the message, or the intended
effect of that message, to the society that's the important thing,
really.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: So what about the ho-bag?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Mom? I've lived way to close to her for way too long, so,
yeah. No. Done with her.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Well I sure as hell don't want to deal with her...</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>They look at Karen</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: And Kimberly's got this kid now, so she's kind of made her
own excuse for not traveling anywhere, especially to things like
MacheteCon on account of the violence and blood everywhere, you know?
It seriously just soaks in to everywhere, and who knows what effect
that will have on a newborn psyche like that, right?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Shit. It's me, isn't it?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Karen: Now if I had to go STEVE, oh my God, STEVE would so totally
be right there with me. Partially to try keeping me safe, sure; but
also, you guys, because anyone who would be crazy enough to attend
would probably love to try this new stuff he's bringing in, krokodil?
It's totally insane that anyone would ever use it, but people do.
Isn't that just the weirdest thing?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene II</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Jean's room. She and Steve enter</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Shhh.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: I thought you said we weren't doing anything wrong.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Workin' on it.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: So do you have any Xanax or what?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Well, no. That's really specific. Why not just use alcohol?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: No way! You know what that does to your liver?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: You have got to be joking me. This family takes stuff
that'll randomly alter their DNA, and you're worried about your
liver?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Good point. Okay, drop 'em.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: How old did you say you were again?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: I dunno. Fifteen, I think.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: I'm going to want the lights off for this, then.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>He turns the light off. Soon after, Jonna walks on stage and
turns them on</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Whoa!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Jonna is weilding a truly impressive sex toy</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: I think there's some extra batteries in here. Mind if I
look?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Uh, sure.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Jonna spots Jean</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: You told me you were fourteen.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Oh, yeah. Fourteen.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: She told me she was twenty-five!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Jonna hits him repeatedly with the sex toy</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Ow! Ow! Ow!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Bill and Barbara enter</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: What's going on here?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Seriously. Am I tripping balls, or is this real.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jean: Oh my God, you're so embarrassing!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Jean leaves</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Uh... it's all part of a marketing plan?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: I'll kill you!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Steve: Look us up when you're in Florida!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Steve leaps out the window</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Bill: I'm going to join him. He seems a lot more fun than you are.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Bill leaps out window followed by the sound of a car racing down
the driveway</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: You wouldn't know fun if it bit off your balls! <i>Thinks</i>
He may have a point.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene III</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Barbara and Jonna are in the Beverly's study</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: If you want to stick around, you can. But there has to be
at least one person here who isn't utterly incapacitated 90% of the
time, so that's you.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: I understand.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: You'll have to start using recyclable batteries, though.
We're going through way to many of the single-use ones – the
landfill called us up to complain, the bastards.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Dang. How about rechargables?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: We couldn't afford the electrical bills.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Aw, man!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: We could get you one of those. Cheaper in the long run,
and just as disposable.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Not my type.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Woman, then. Still cheaper.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: Nope.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Running out of options, here.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: You got a tool shop?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Sure. This fucking place would fall apart without it.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: That'll do nicely.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Ah. Okay, then. Try not to burn the place down and you
can stay.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna: You got it.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene IV</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Sheriff Gilbeau and Barbara are in the kitchen</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: The fuck you want?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Oh, yes. Very much so.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Huh. Yeah, you could come in handy.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: I desperately want to bring a little modicum of joy, and
hope, and self-respect to your life.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Authour: NOPE!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Sorry.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Aww. How about your live-in, then? She's hot.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: She's mechano-sexual.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Gilbeau: Dammit!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<u>Scene V</u></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Barbara and Ivy are in the sitting room; Violet enters</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Hi, mom.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: Workin' on it.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: We've been over this. You can't get high on Advil, no
matter what you cut it with.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: You forgot to take the booze.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: After the abuse you've put your liver through? You'll be
dead in a week if you try, ya dumb fucker.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: I've got something to say.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: I'm sure I care.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Charles and I -</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Little Charles.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Charles and I -</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Little Charles.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Charles and I -</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Little Charles.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: He's hung like a bull, Barbara.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Little Ch- What?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Seriously. Baby's arm holding an apple.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Did not expect that.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: She finally says something interesting.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: At least thirty minutes of foreplay.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Huh.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Charles and I-</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Big Charles.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: Barbara! Charles-</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: Charles is adopted. I know that.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: What? No...</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: I've always known that. You didn't think Mattie Fae, who's
never shown the least interest in anything sentient, and Charlie, who
isn't sure anything exists outside his own head, could get it
together enough to reproduce? Even by accident? Please.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>Little Charles enters, trying not to be seen</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Look out! Heavy equipment, comin' through!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: Did you tell her?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: She sure did! Woo!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: I... kinda.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: That we're going to New York?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Big apple, huh?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: About that...</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: What's wrong?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: Her cervix needs a holiday, you brute!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: You're adopted.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Little Charles: I'm what?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Ivy: We're not actually related. Sorry. You're just not that
interesting anymore. Bye.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>She leaves, followed by a sad Little Charles</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara: What a crazy bitch. Hey, Lit- Hey, Charles! Charlie!
You know I'm practically divorced?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Barbara leaves after them</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Violet: Barbara, I was... Barbara? Barbara? Ivy? Ivy, where...?</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>The lights temporarily dim as we hear some kind of heavy machinery
starting up overhead</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Jonna? Jonna!</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<i>No one comes. She sits on the floor and recites Denni Lee to
herself in a diminishing voice</i></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Once upon a time</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
There was a teeny tiny tale.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
It had a good beginning,</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
but the middle seemed pale.</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
And when it reached the section</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
where the middle should have been</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
the teeny tiny tale, alas,</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Was nowhere to be...</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
<br />
</div>
<br />
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.03cm; text-indent: -1.01cm;">
Fin</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-75189538602423153192016-03-17T11:13:00.000-07:002016-03-17T11:17:44.723-07:00Gary, Gary, Gary. Gary, Gary, Gary. Gary!We've got it. Here, at last, is a candidate who has a simple, easily understood policy package. He not only wins people over, but anyone who <b>talks</b> about him becomes a supporter. Talk about charisma!<br />
<br />
He already has the endorsement of two gigantic figures in entertainment - Steve Martin and Stephen Colbert - which will help his media coverage. That's crucial, because as a third candidate he likely won't have anywhere near the war chest of either party.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/gbySfGzno4U/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gbySfGzno4U?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
He can easily fill the cabinet with focused, like-minded contemporaries, and his stance on gun rights is easily going to be acceptable to the NRA; and as for his feelings on war, what better leader than one who's been through it? And I guarantee you that he has very, ah, <i>certain</i> conflict resolution skills:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/DWRUDNdjUYY/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DWRUDNdjUYY?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
Gary/Gary in 2016!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-80043984777332782962016-03-12T12:37:00.000-08:002016-03-12T12:37:40.793-08:00Why You Gotta Be So Angry?The usual clutched pearls are happening over the violence that broke out in Chicago at a Trump rally - which is going to be more common as the endless slog of election cycle continues - and the Republican front runners all had identical responses: it's Obama's fault.<br />
<br />
Yes, the target audience members <b>are</b> that stupid; and no, there really <b>isn't</b> much of a difference between the candidates. Trump is probably a bit more to the left of the others, but who the hell can tell what he'd do in office? I certainly can't. I literally have no clue: he's made impossible promises and has a fan base that desperately wants to hear them; but he's had wildly different views on half of the things he's said publicly and the other half is clearly fantasy talk. So...?<br />
<br />
Back to the violence, then.<br />
<br />
You'll see and hear several people, from the obvious talking heads of the Right to the well-meaning milquetoasts on the Left, say that Gosh, That's Not Going to Help! Anger Doesn't Solve Anything!<br />
<br />
Then Hillary Clinton made a fantastically ignorant statement about Nancy and Ronald Reagan. And then sent a comment that read, literally: "Sorry about that."<br />
<br />
Her initial statement? That the Reagans had 'helped start a national conversation on HIV and AIDS.'<br />
<br />
"Sorry about that"? Seriously? The Reagan White House was laughing about the deaths of gay men from HIV and AIDS related causes, and it took years, thousands of deaths and hundreds of thousands of infections before he even mentioned it publicly. Inside the White House were members of the Moral Majority, armageddonists (which included Reagan himself - partially explaining his approach to environmental policies) and other holy rollers. Needless to say, something nicknamed "The Gay Plague" wasn't going to be treated with any seriousness beyond a shrug and righteous smile. After all, it only affected people who deserved it, right?<br /><br />This <a href="http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/nicole-hemmer/articles/2016-03-01/the-gop-needs-to-stand-against-trumps-racism" target="_blank">should sound familiar</a>.<br />
<br />
It caused anger. <a href="https://www.thestranger.com/slog/2016/03/11/23698621/hillary-clinton-the-reagans-particularly-nancy-helped-start-a-national-conversation-about-hiv-and-aids" target="_blank">Lots of it.</a> And that anger, finally, got the disease noticed. As much as people were annoyed by ACT UP and similar groups, that anger is what motivated people to look, even if it was just to ask "what are those faggots so angry about?"<br /><br />Welcome to Chicago.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-22515228477819499152016-03-12T11:15:00.001-08:002016-03-12T11:15:55.090-08:00And the Reasoning is..?Theory is: the government is employed by the population, and has certain expectations thrust upon it. One of the largest of those expectations is the safety of the people.<br />
<br />
So explain to me <a href="http://www.vancouversun.com/news/metro/charges+approved+connection+with+government+triple+delete/11779100/story.html?google_editors_picks=true" target="_blank">how this isn't treason</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-26187816420164628952016-02-21T15:47:00.001-08:002016-02-21T15:48:22.374-08:00Robocop v. Robocop, and Deadpool's Boldest StatementDeadpool, as you just might have heard somewhere along the way, is an R-rated super hero film. This is supposed to be the legendary Kiss of Death for those stories, as the assumption was that an audience of kids was a necessary ingredient for success.<br /><br />That suspicion has to some degree proven itself to be true: when such movies take on 'adult' themes, and use adult material, the results are mixed at best. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUjMO_k9IF8" target="_blank">Watchmen</a> was big and expensive, but also messy and uneven. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L58rdhCfDIU" target="_blank">Darkman</a> was very good (despite the trailer), but made little impact at the box office.<br /><br />So we end up with dark or adult themes while retaining a bloodlessness that lets them keep that magical ($!) PG rating: Batman and Wolverine are two that stand out as characters that should have R ratings. Those two have characters with troubled backgrounds; move in thematically dark worlds (literally in Batman's case, I suppose); and use violence to a ridiculous degree to achieve their goals.<br />
<br />
But probably the best example of the inherent weirdness of the PG vs. R rating is Robocop.<br />
<br />
The <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uszQNYibzU" target="_blank">original</a>, with fountains of blood and deaths happening every few pages, is rated R. Paul Verhoeven had to recut and resubmit the film <i>12 times</i> before he got to an R rating, down from the X that the MPAA wanted to give it. The <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=On6x0ZAcMFc" target="_blank">remake from 2014</a>, with deaths happening every few pages but no blood at all, is rated PG-13. I'm not here to comment on whether one was better than the other (the first one was), but to note that the remake box office more than doubled the budget - not an easy thing for a $100 million movie. Not as statistically impressive as the quadrupling the original did, the first had a budget of only $13 million(ish).<br />
<br />
But which was more successful?<br />
<br />
A nebulous term, I realize: but I don't hear people talk about the remake as being influential or inspiring in any way. It broke no new ground, sparked few imaginations. I think it was a good movie, but it won't change anything. I feel like in another ten years, the only time I'll hear it mentioned will be after the question "Didn't they do a remake?"<br />
<br />
So why the heck was it made? They got the nostalgia kick, and it was a success financially, but there was no guarantee that would have happened (<i>see also: Dredd</i>). Still, to better their chances the powers that be decided to get rid of the blood and target the PG rating, making the violence sanitized for whole families to enjoy. To compare: the original Robocop had 32 deaths; the remake has over 50. Killings aren't a moral problem for the MPAA, so long as there is no immediate, visual consequence to them.<br />
<br />
Back to Deadpool.<br />
<br />
Deadpool without the blood would be ridiculous, but possible. Most of it was animated in the 'during' shots any way, and could have simply not been added in post-production. Don't show him sawing frantically (and comically) through an arm and avoid showing the bloody stump on camera, and Hey, Presto! you have yourself a PG-13 film. Well, except for one thing:<br /><br />Swearing. And sex. Swearing <i>and</i> sex. Okay, two things, fine!<br />
<br />
The swearing would be easy enough to eliminate as well - he's speaking with a full face mask 90% of the time any way, so redubbing would be a piece of cake. It could even be incorporated into the 4th-wall breaking humour in a "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4t6zNZ-b0A" target="_blank">Monkey fighting, Monday to Friday</a>" way. They certainly do enough <a href="http://www.avclub.com/article/whats-your-favorite-example-lampshading-pop-cultur-225175" target="_blank">lampshading</a> to make that part of the script.<br />
<br />
The sex, on the other hand...<br />
<br />
The sex scenes are varied, lively, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHLe0NkyIug" target="_blank">and fun</a>, and they work as an excellent shorthand for audiences to see how their relationship progresses over time. Announcing the holidays as they go was inspired time leaping. They missed Black History Month, which would have been interesting; but I suppose that's not technically a holiday. Then again, I'm certain there's no way they kept Lent - that 40 days of going without! Yerk!<br />
<br />
But there's a detail or two that I haven't heard mentioned much that I think should be. First, he shows no mercy to her as a newbie to the game of skeeball. Yes, he's massively attracted to Vanessa; but his priority is to win a Voltron the Defender ring, not to get laid, dang it! (She does win what I'm sure is a lovely pencil eraser.)<br />
<br />
The detail I liked most, though? Vanessa - the girl of his dreams and the woman he falls madly in love with - is a prostitute. She gladly takes his money for their first meeting, and he happily gives it to her. It's not even an issue. If they hadn't become a couple, he would have been just as happy to hand over the cash in exchange for her company without a single moral qualm raised.<br />
<br />
Her past isn't flung in her face; she's never shamed for it; he doesn't regard her as less of a human being because of it. The movie never mentions it again, and in fact has her later working in a strip club and he's wondering if <i>he's</i> good enough for <i>her</i>.<br />
<br />
Neat, huh?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-91896608010396652462016-02-17T12:10:00.000-08:002016-02-17T12:10:33.295-08:00Jeb! Gets it Right?I'm sure you've seen it, so I'm not going to bother putting the image here, but when Jeb! tweeted out a picture of his new gun (with his name engraved on it) and the word "America", there were three things that stood out for me:<br />
<br />
1) the safety was off;<br />
2) it was engraved for "<b>Gov.</b> Jeb Bush" - perhaps not the most optimistic choice;<br />
3) he had never owned a gun before, but succumbed to peer pressure to get one.<br />
<br />
So, yeah. That "America" tag looks more and more accurate the longer you look at it, and not for the better.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-78911718345810956922016-02-11T15:13:00.002-08:002016-02-11T15:17:03.307-08:00Yeah, We Know.<div class="" data-block="true" data-offset-key="dmas0-0-0" style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dmas0-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="dmas0-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">I like politics.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-offset-key="5in71-0-0" style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="5in71-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="5in71-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">I like what it is, how it makes people act, the performance art that it creates and the flop-sweat and emptiness it often leaves in its wake. I like seeing action inspired by motivation, the maneuvers and manipulations (successful and failed) of people vying for power, and how hard they'll fight for how much effect. It's _fun_ for me.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><span data-offset-key="olr7-0-0">Possibly my favourite part is when people try to justify what is clearly evil done for evil motivations, all in public. There's no one out there who actually thinks, for instance, that the Voter ID laws</span> established in a handful of states were actually put into place to prevent voter fraud - a crime that doesn't actually happen to any degree that <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2014/10/13/the-disconnect-between-voter-id-laws-and-voter-fraud/" target="_blank">influences election results</a>. Even the Heritage Foundation had to go back to examples from (seriously) 1844 and 1948 to try defending the proposed laws.</span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><span data-offset-key="olr7-0-0"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shelby_County_v._Holder" target="_blank">In 2013</a> the Supreme Court of the US decided, in possibly their worst decision since <a href="http://reclaimdemocracy.org/who-are-citizens-united/" target="_blank">money = free speech</a>, (you know a law's bad when one of the biggest beneficiaries says it's a bad law; granted, he wants to <a href="http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/jeb-bushs-citizens-united-criticisms-come-catch" target="_blank">make it worse</a>, but still) that individual states shouldn't have to get the federal government's permission to change voting laws. That law was <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shelby_County_v._Holder" target="_blank">originally put into place</a> specifically so pro-segregation states would not be able to put up road blocks against blacks voting.
Any guesses which states were the among first to start changing voting laws the instant this decision went through?
(In case you're wondering, the full name of t</span>he federal version is the "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help_America_Vote_Act" target="_blank">Help America Vote Act</a> of 2002: Because We've Never Heard Of Orwell" edition.)</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">It's not that voter fraud doesn't happen at all; but the laws do exactly nothing to stop absentee voting fraud, which is by far the largest type - though still not enough to affect any elections. Unless you think <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/OTUS/voter-fraud-real-rare/story?id=17213376" target="_blank">40 votes out of the 197,000,000 cast</a> would have been enough to change the 2012 US election, that is.</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">You could see the laws' defenders throwing up handfulls of glitter in the hopes that no one would notice that the buckets they were pulling it from started life under <a href="https://www.unitedsiteservices.com/sites/default/files/styles/billboard/public/products-dropdown.jpg?itok=71IRqzjI" target="_blank">big, blue cabinets</a>... It was incredibly obvious to anyone who bothered looking that the laws were proposed and enacted to make it more difficult for poor people to vote.</span><br />
<span data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">
You know, those same places where polling stations have been <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/25/opinion/long-lines-at-minority-polling-places.html?_r=0" target="_blank">eliminated, shrunk</a>, and had 'unusual' wait times. Neat how those are the same places that tend to vote Democrat, huh? Can you guess who tends to champion the Voter ID laws?</span><br />
<span data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">
However, not enough time has passed (elections taken place) to determine the actual effect of the new voter laws - <a href="http://pages.ucsd.edu/~zhajnal/page5/documents/voterIDhajnaletal.pdf" target="_blank">until now</a>. The <a href="http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/voter-id-laws-result-in-fewer-non-white-people-voting-says-study-vgtrn" target="_blank">TL/DR version</a> is this: yep, minorities and the poor have a more difficult time voting, to the tunes of hundreds of thousands of people being disenfranchised. Surprise!
</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">So now what? Will the media respond at all? Will the Democrats challenge the laws, or leave that <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2016/02/02/north-carolina-awaits-voter-id-ruling/" target="_blank">to advocate groups</a> in their patented Someone Else Do It For Us technique?</span><br />
<span data-offset-key="olr7-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">
Most interesting to me: will establishment Republicans (and their backers) challenge the laws themselves in an act of short term self-sabotage if either Trump or Cruz actually manage to steal the nomination from their picks? Such a move could possibly gain them some good PR, especially among minorities, and reduce the odds of success for their recalcitrant rebels. Most likely they'll do nothing other than their usual bellows of outrage and fear-mongering about Those Dark People Coming To Steal Your Votes And Probably Kill You In Your Sleep I Dunno Just Sayin'.
Whatever they decide to do about it (if anything), I'm keeping popcorn at hand!</span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-75981018233176592832016-02-03T10:39:00.000-08:002016-02-03T10:46:00.578-08:00Secret Rape Legalization Meetings Aren't RealFirst: publicly announced secret meetings aren't a thing. That's kind of the point of secret meetings - especially ones with code words that are also publicly announced. Just so we have that clear.<br />
<br />
So if somebody is announcing secret meetings around the world for proponents of legalizing rape (with only "real hetrosexual men allowed") it's not actually what he wants.<br />
<br />
So what would someone who does that want? I'm sure you've already guessed: publicity.<br />
<br />
What "Roosh V" wants is a lot of very angry people to appear, looking to kick _someone's_ ass, and then have video of it show up on the nightly news. Oh, you don't think an industry that thrives on conflict and easy outrage WON'T be there to record it..? Allow me to introduce you to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Gibson" target="_blank">Sniffy the Rat</a>.<br />
<br />
Look: this idiot is a colostomy bag filled with hot air and misogyny, who has found enough fans online to make money off it. What would be his most favourite thing ever would be a bunch of self-styled vigilantes looking to beat people up on random street corners. That not only gets him attention (and earns him money), but lets him do two other things:<br />
<br />
1) proclaim that he's the actual victim; and<br />
2) tell people that the people who oppose him are the REAL violent psychopaths.<br />
<br />
Easy outrage is something to be very wary of. If you find your buttons are being pushed, think of who's pushing them. If you find yourself getting angry about him, or people like him, <a href="http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2016/02/01/where-is-the-pet-shop-roosh-v-plans-secret-meetups-announces-locations-on-internet/" target="_blank">We Hunted the Mammoth</a> is an excellent place to turn that anger into laughter.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-85901374121605600352016-01-28T19:25:00.002-08:002016-01-28T19:28:40.751-08:00That Thing<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="6i37a-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="6i37a-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">So I've been thinking about joy lately. Not happiness, not contentment, not satisfaction... nothing so mature or thoughtful as those. Simple, pure, joy.
Seeing a dog with its head stuck out a moving vehicle. Finally getting a piece of apple pie you've been looking forward to all day. Recognizing the opening notes of a song that makes you dance like an idiot, then dancing like an idiot. Whatever makes your mouth curl up in an irresistible spastic twitch that makes you kinda-not-really-embarrassed it happened sort of thing.</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="a2j3i-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="a2j3i-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="6ulh1-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="6ulh1-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">You know: joy.</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="dllnr-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="dllnr-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="9g42d-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="9g42d-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">We, or at least I, tried to avoid it as being childish; it was ephemeral, and not worth serious consideration by serious grown-ups like us. I was wrong. I was wrong about myself and wrong about the emotion.
Joy is a here-and-now piece of timelessness, without future or past. It's only ever a moment, but it's a moment without past or consequence - the ultimate flash in the pan BANG! that overrides societal rules and decorum. It's a big reason why I ride motorcycles. I'm given to understand it's why many people have kids, or is at least a happy side effect of them.</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="9g42d-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="9g42d-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="9g42d-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="9g42d-0-0" style="background-color: black; color: white;">Joy is scary. It demands your full attention; it's a loss of control, and it can be overridden. We can bury joy within ourselves, pushing it down under sarcasm and ego and frikkin' <i>image</i>. (What would the neighbours think?) It's easy to eliminate, and it's easy to justify eliminating: when you are no longer a child, you are supposed to put away childish things, after all.
Games inspire moments of joy; but often to get to them we also experience frustration, and anger, and occasionally hopelessness. But the joy makes it worth it.
The crux: a player was told not to attend the NHL All-Star Game because he was an embarrassment. The people running a league of a game told a player (question: they're called 'players' because...?) to stay away from the most trivial, meaningless part of that league because they were embarrassed he was going to be there.
Fans, who in theory the game is supposed to be played for, voted him into the All-Star Game. If that happens, then he belongs, whatever the humourless pearl-clutchers insist. And you know what he's going to do?
<a href="http://www.theplayerstribune.com/a-guy-like-me/" target="_blank">Enjoy it</a>.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-47508163920970952342015-12-13T20:40:00.005-08:002015-12-13T20:40:59.857-08:00Jack and Jill ParodyQuick note here: this is NOT the nursery rhyme! This is the 1995 play by Jane Martin that is being parodied by me, and as such is not really geared towards kids. You'll catch on.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jack and Jill and Just What The Hell IS This?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A Shawnigan Players Parody</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Act One</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene One</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>A library. Jill is seated, reading The Bell Jar in "Oh, What-an-important-book-I'm-reading" sized print. Jack hesitantly enters opposite stage.</i><br />
Jack: Hi.<br />
<i>Jill immediately maces him.</i><br />
Jack: Agh! Agh!<br />
<i>Jill continues to mace him for another 15 seconds. Then she steps back and considers Jack.</i><br />
Jack: Agh!<br />
Jill: That's hot.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Two</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>Jack is standing at a window in Jill's apartment. He has red, swollen eyes.</i><br />
Jack: Nice view, now that I can see it.<br />
Jill: I have scotch! And vodka!<br />
Jack: Oh! I, uh...<br />
Jill: And pot!<br />
Jack: Well, that sounds -<br />
Jill: And condoms!<br />
Jack: Um... great, I guess?<br />
Jill: And rubber gloves! And duct tape! And poppers!<br />
Jack: Could we...?<br />
Jill: Unless you don't want to?!? <i>(Jill starts to reach under the table)</i> Because in that case...<br />
Jack: No! No, I want to. I think. <i>(Jack turns and dramatically looks out window, blinking heavily) </i> It's just that -<br />
Jill: Goody! So do you... um... Can we talk a little bit about pegging?<br />
Jack: Jill, too much structure and I -<br />
Jill: I wouldn't call a cage a 'structure', really.<br />
Jack: My turn, my turn.<br />
Jill: That's the point, yes.<br />
Jack: Jill.<br />
Jill: What?<br />
Jack: Close your eyes.<br />
Jill: The door locks from the inside, you know.<br />
Jack: Jill?<br />
Jill: My eyes are closed.<br />
Jack: Sometimes, there's this... issue... I have, with being able to... uh...<br />
Jill: Gettin' it up?<br />
Jack: A bit blunt, but yeah. Only sometimes, though!<br />
Jill: (smiles) That won't be a problem.<br />
Jack: Yeah, but later...<br />
Jill: <i>(Pulls ball gag from under table)</i> We'll talk. Later.<br />
Jack: Jill?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Three</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>Kitchen table in his apartment.</i><br />
Jack: If this was a negotiation -<br />
Jill: One of us would end up getting hurt again.<br />
Jack: A more sensible negotiation -<br />
Jill: I told you 'Peloponnesian' was a lousy safeword...<br />
Jack: California.<br />
Jill: That's a little better, but not much.<br />
Jack: I work in images, where is image everything?<br />
Jill: I could try to break into movies...<br />
Jack: I'll give it to you straight.<br />
Jill: But you can make more money in... Oh, right.<br />
Jack: You've maxed out. Managing an office for that strangely musical orthopedic surgeon -<br />
Jill: He's a bit weird, but he's got a lovely shrine to his mother!<br />
Jack: You've gone over his books, though: he's using WAY more gas than he should.<br />
Jill: Added benefit - he can never tell when I bring some home.<br />
Jack: Okay, point, valid point, but -<br />
Jill: Flip you for it.<br />
Jack: Will you stick to the -<br />
Jill: Heads or tails?<br />
Jack: Is everything sex with you?<br />
Jill: Complaints?<br />
Jack: Well, no. But this is important!<br />
Jill: So convince me.<br />
Jack: You are an implacable hard ass.<br />
Jill: Broken two paddles so far.<br />
Jack: Marry me.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Four</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>Jack, after a night of revelry and pontification, knocks on a door mid-stage. Jill, off-stage, replies.</i><br />
Jill: Who is it?<br />
Jack: It's me, Jack.<br />
Jill: You can't come in!<br />
Jack: <i>(Jack sits, dispirited, leaning against the door)</i> I can't get married.<br />
Jill runs to the door in her wedding dress, opening it as Jack falls to the ground.<br />
Jill: I see.<br />
Jack: I can't do it. I'm a horrible person, and - <i>(Jill drops her wedding dress to the ground) </i> Okay!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Five</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>Beach. Jack and Jill lie side-by-side on towels. They look displeased and on occasion shift uncomfortably. Jack kicks one leg out and shakes it. They're still. Jill then arches her back and winces, twisting slightly, and settles back down.</i><br />
Jill: So.<br />
Jack: Sex on a beach.<br />
Jill: Yep.<br />
Jack: Never again.<br />
Jill: Nope.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Six</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>Their apartment. Jill is seated, Jack enters.</i><br />
Jack: Long day at work. Whew! Long day. You?<br />
Jill: I'm on the pill again.<br />
Jack: Oh, thank God!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Six, revised</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>Jill is now vacuuming drapes with a hand-held vacuum, in case humans do that sort of thing. Jack enters with note in hand.</i><br />
Jack: What is this?<br />
Jill: Paper. In this case, fibers mashed with a chemical agent to break them down, then bleached and bonded into a cohesive sheet appropriate for writing on.<br />
Jack: Yeah?<br />
Jill: Yeah.<br />
Jack: And the note on it?<br />
Jill: I was doodling, Jack.<br />
Jack: Is it about going bowling again? With your co-workers?<br />
Jill: We're just blowing -<br />
Jack: Marty Indecipherable? With hearts?<br />
Jill: Not Marty yet, no. And it's bowling.<br />
Jack: Well, I don't like it one little bit. Do you hear me clearly?<br />
Jill: First time I've heard THAT!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Seven-ish</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i> Jill is beside table with dishes piled on it. Jack enters, dodging plate thrown by Jill.</i><br />
Jack: <i>(ducking)</i> Hi.<br />
Jill: Hi.<br />
Jack: I think the Mikasa 'Swirl White' pattern is mine.<br />
Jill: <i> (Throwing dish set at him)</i> Yours.<br />
Jack: So, can we talk about me for a minute, here?<br />
<i>Jill throws table at Jack. Clouds of Plaster of Paris fill theatre. Audience exits, coughing.</i><br />
Jack: <i>(unable to see Jill)</i> Bye, Jill.<br />
Jill: <i>(emerges from billowing clouds like a ninja)</i> Goodbye, Jack.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Act Two</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene One</div>
<br />
<i>Stage is dark, with a bed barely seen. Jill wakes up violently, smacking Jack in the face.</i><br />
Jill: No!<br />
Jack: Not the face!<br />
Jill: What? Who? What?<br />
<i>Jill turns on her light, revealing herself and Jack.</i><br />
Jack: Ow, my nose.<br />
Jill: Still not a good safeword.<br />
Jack: Well, it's not broken.<br />
Jill: I have no idea who you are.<br />
Jack: Where am I?<br />
Jill: We'll get to that. Deniability seems key right now.<br />
Jack: Jill? Is that you?<br />
Jill: ...You've got to be kidding me.<br />
Jack: It is! Yay!<br />
Jill: (<i>muttering to herself) </i> You go to ONE 1970s throwback key party in this town...<br />
Jack: I knew you liked me!<br />
Jill: Yeah. Sure. Bits of you, any way. Maybe not your nose so much right now.<br />
Jack: Does this mean we're back together?<br />
Jill: In your dreams.<br />
Jack: Okay!<br />
Jack turns off his light and lies down.<br />
Jill: You've gotta be kidding me.<br />
Jack: Come on, it was cute!<br />
Jill: No, it wasn't.<br />
Jack: It was. For a minute there.<br />
Jill: No.<br />
Jack: Thirty seconds.<br />
Jill: When I say 'no'...<br />
Jack: <i> (suddenly turns doe-eyed)</i> Pweeeze?<br />
Jill: I am getting out of this bed.<br />
<i>She does.</i><br />
Director (off stage): Underwear? Seriously? Maaannn...<br />
Jack: What he said.<br />
Jill: Jack, when two people were... what we were...<br />
Jack: Doing?<br />
Jill: No, what we were. The relationship.<br />
Jack: Oh, right!<br />
Jill: Not to say this wasn't fun...<br />
Jack: Darned tootin'!<br />
Jill: It's time for you to go.<br />
Jack: This is our longest scene!<br />
Jill: You flatter yourself. Git.<br />
Jack: Aww! How about one for the road?<br />
Jill: Well, okay. But no hands!<br />
Jack: No hands.<br />
Jill: For auld lang's ayne.<br />
Jack: For auld lang's ayne.<br />
She climbs back into bed and turns off the light.<br />
Audience: Aww!<br />
Jack: This is better. Much, much better. <i>(pause) </i> What are you doing?<br />
<i>Jill's voice is muffled, but it sounds like she says "shut up, I'm busy".</i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Two</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>An alarm goes off, and lights rise as Jill exits stage. Jack slowly comes to his senses, gets out of bed and gets dressed.</i><br />
Director (off stage): Him, too? Where's the commitment, for crying out loud? I ask you!<br />
Audience: What he said.<br />
Jack: So, I, uh... California. Just did a big image collage for a big time release. Spelling Films. "Rumpelstiltskin." Going to be huge this year. Massive.<br />
Jill: No!<br />
Jack: Yeah. John Ducey, Tommy Blaze... Big, uh, stars. But none of them could fill the void left by you, y'know?<br />
<i>Jill re-enters in a business suit and gets herself ready for work.</i><br />
Jack: The void. You know, the - Jill? - the void? Left by you?<br />
Jill: Doin' my hair over here, Jack.<br />
Jack: Wow. You'd normally be all over that double entendre as soon as I said it. What's different about you? Something's missing.<br />
Jill: You're sweet, but that comes from later in the script. Bye!<br />
<i>She kisses him lightly, gives his groin a healthy squeeze, and exits.</i><br />
Jack: Uh, Jill?<br />
Jill: Goin' to work now, Jack!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Three</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>Jill is jogging in a slightly uncomfortable but very fashionable running suit. Jack suddenly appears running beside her.</i><br />
Jack: Wow. So you do this every day, huh?<br />
Jill: AAAH! <br />
<i>She maces him immediately.</i><br />
Jack: Agh! Agh!<br />
<i>Jill continues to mace Jack until the audience is weeping uncontrolably.</i><br />
Jack: Agh!<br />
Jill: So maybe don't stalk people, dumbass! <i>(She considers her handiwork, biting her lip.)</i> Mmm. Hey, Jack, can you dance?<br />
Jack: Agh...<br />
Jill: <i>(Pulls a card from her handbag, which she somehow has on her, and puts it beside him.)</i> See you tonight at nine, Hotel Gaulitier! SO hot...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Four</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>Jill is in a dance hall, dressed in a standard evening gown. A generic Strauss waltz is playing. Jack enters in a leather jacket, peaked hat, and assless chaps.</i><br />
Jack: I think I got the address wrong...<br />
Jill: Rob Halford! You came!<br />
Jack: How long until they invent Google Maps?<br />
<i>They dance.</i><br />
Jill: Well, this IS a fundraiser... Pretty sure you can get a bidding war started on the floor here.<br />
Jack: Did you know which card you gave me this afternoon?<br />
Jill: Huh. Could have been anything.<br />
Jack: It wasn't for here.<br />
Jill: That explains why you're late.<br />
Jack: So where can we meet?<br />
Jill: I think there's a closet behind the bar -<br />
Jack: In this life?<br />
<i>The music stops.</i><br />
Jill: Hey, Jack: you're a nice guy with intereting sartorial tastes and lively plaything; but that doesn't mean you're a keeper, you know?<br />
Jack: Dumb orchestra.<br />
Jill: I've got other priorities right now, and as fun as you are my own life has to take precedence.<br />
Jack: Who stops right in the middle of a song?<br />
Jill: It's really important to me that I take the time to find where I am. <i>Jack stomps into the orchestra pit (off stage)</i> It's a matter of overcompensating, maybe, for my earlier life where I not only didn't know where I was, but didn't know to look.<br />
Jack: <i>(off stage)</i> Kick out the jams, motherfuckers!<br />
Jill: And now I'm in a place that I... well, maybe it's not ideal, but I just have to be here a while before I can find a new balance, and I just don't think that includes anyone else right now.<br />
<i>The dulcet tones of The Forgotten Rebel's "Fuck Me Dead" start up. Jack returns.</i><br />
Jill: I hope you understand.<br />
Jack: WOOOOOO!!! MOSH PIIIIIIT!!!<br />
Jack hurls himself into the audience with great vigour.<br />
Jill: Okay, but just one more night.<br />
Jill hurls herself into audience.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Five</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Lights up on a toilet stall later that night. Jill's outside while Jack's inside in some distress.<br />
Jill: Sorry, I didn't think anybody used horse any more! <i>(The sounds of vomiting come from inside the stall)</i> Seriously, I hadn't even heard of people inhaling it even back in the day... I wouldn't have given you any because I know opiates make you nauseous.<br />
Jack: Aww, you rememberhuurkoffkoffack!<br />
Jill: Of course I remembered, silly! Back when I contemplated killing you I was trying to figure out which poisons would be most likely to stay down.<br />
Jack: Jill?<br />
Jill: I changed my mind.<br />
Jack: About us? Oh, happy dauuurk!<br />
Jill: No, no: not about us. Just about whether I should kill you or not. I decided not to.<br />
Jack: Does that mean we...?<br />
Jill: Nope!<br />
Jack: Fuck youuuurgh!<br />
Jill: But, Jack!<br />
Jack: Oh, God, what was that? Seriously, fuck right off and let me die here.<br />
Jill: But I -<br />
Jack: Piss off.<br />
Jill sadly leaves the stage to the sound of dry heaves.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Six</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i>Jack and Jill are walking towards each other in a downpour (both holding umbrellas). Jill looks up as the cross.</i><br />
Jill: Is that... Jack?<br />
Jack: What? Oh.<br />
Jill: Jack!<br />
<i>Jack runs off stage, screaming.</i><br />
Jack: KEEP AWAY FROM ME YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!<br />
Jill: So HOT...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scene Seven</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Jack is sitting at a table in a library, reading a book of nursery rhymes. Jill enters opposite.<br />
Jill: Hi.<br />
Jack: I'm armed.<br />
Jill: So, I thought it would be cool if I stalked you for a while and finally tracked you down to here, which is pretty cool. Reading and stuff.<br />
Jack: No. Nope. Go away.<br />
Jill: And I thought it would be really great if we got back together.<br />
Jack: You're insane.<br />
Jill: Because I really miss you and I'm kinda lonely now.<br />
Jack: Keep away from me. We're never getting back together, ever.<br />
Jill: You're sure?<br />
Jack: Hell, yes.<br />
Jill: Well, okay.<br />
<i>Jack watches Jill leave, then sighs with relief and goes back to reading his book. Jill tiptoes back on stage and crawls under the table.</i><br />
Jack: Changed my mind! We can get back together!<br />
Jill: (muffled) Hooray!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
End</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-24018987699601036712015-06-08T12:04:00.000-07:002015-06-08T12:04:13.049-07:00The (Fake) Real ThingThis is a parody for the Shawnigan Lake Players, having just put on Tom Stoppard's fine play. As such, it's pretty much all inside jokes and mocking of characters.<br />
<br />
This isn't the best place for formatting a play, so apologies for that!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
The (Fake) Real Thing</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
A Shawnigan Players Parody</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene One:
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>Drawing room of unaccountably
successful architect. This will be immediately apparent to the
audience because I write for British theatre and we have unlimited
stage space for drawing boards and the like. The budgets are pretty
good, too.</i></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>Max is alone, forever alone.
He pervades the stage with existential ennui by building a house of
cards. Charlotte comes through the door.</i></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Don't slam – (<i>the door
slams gracefully. Max invokes the spirit of Nietzsche on a
particularly bleak day</i>) ... the door.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: It's me. I have
alcohol.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Max contemplates the
eventual heat-death of the universe as embodied in his now collapsed
cards. They mock him silently as he drinks, desperately trying to
obliterate his conscious mind.</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Charlotte enters the room,
her cheer bringing an oh-so-rare light into this den of misery</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Hello! Let me get a
glass.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>She kisses the top of his
head and gives him a quick fondle</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: (<i>The foolish, suspicious
bastard</i>) You've been gone a while. Where?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Switzerland, I think.
More booze?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: (<i>Poor, miserable Max who
should have done more to make Charlotte happy</i>) I'm very clever,
you know.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: (<i>Gleefully
oblivious to their doom</i>) Really, dear? How nice for you.
Another drink?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: (<i>Who should have just
shut the hell up and enjoyed his life</i>) You're sleeping around,
aren't you?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: (<i>Oh, lovely, sweet
Charlotte</i>) Only when I travel, love. More wine?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: (<i>Who wouldn't know a good
thing if it bit him on the ass, even when it literally did on more
than one occasion</i>) Of course not! Get out!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: (<i>I'm so, so sorry,
Charlotte! I was mad! An idiot!</i>) Oh. Um, okay. I'll leave the
bottle, then.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Charlotte leaves, and Max
embraces his joyless future where he realizes his love too late and
in his misery he takes up writing for the National Theatre.</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene Two</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry and Charlotte's house.
Henry is playing with his records. No, seriously – he has some
albums out and he's digging through them. Ask older members of the
audience to interpret his actions for the younger ones around them.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte emerges (<i>perhaps
unsurprisingly</i>) hung over and partially dressed.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Hello.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Gbermeh. (<i>She
passes out immediately on the couch</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Yes, I thought you might
feel that way. (<i>Charlotte snores in response</i>) Don't worry,
don't worry. The effects wear off in a bit. You were told not to
take the brown ones. (<i>The doorbell rings</i>) Whoop! That'll be
Max.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>He slings Charlotte over one
shoulder and exits. We hear a shower running and a scream: it sounds
very cold</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Henry returns and exits out
the other side</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> Hello, Max!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Max and Henry enter</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Uh, hi. Did I just hear a
scream?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Possibly.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Is Charlotte all right?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: I don't think she's
terribly happy. Drink?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Maybe not... (<i>he looks
around a bit nervously</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: I'll get a bottle. (<i>Exits</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: But I... what?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Charlotte emerges from the
next room</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Hello, darling! Don't
I get my morning fondle?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Um... Isn't Henry -</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Henry emerges carrying
champagne</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Hello, dear! Given Max
his morning fondle yet?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: What?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: It's how she greets
people. I don't understand it, but actors, you know? Sit! Let's
drink! I'm going to be on the radio!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>They sit</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Really?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Yep! Specifically on a
desert island on the radio, so I'm not sure how people will hear me,
but there it is. How did the play go?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: It sucked.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Honestly, Charlotte!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Oh?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Fortunately, so does
Max, so that made up for it.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Oh now, Charlotte!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Really?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: What else are you
going to do for long stretches backstage? Join the crew?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: (<i>frantically gesturing</i>)
Uh, Charlotte! Hst! Really! Charlotte!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Not that they were
bad, or anything. Especially that one guy who kept tearing his shirt
off...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Charlotte! Jesus,
Charlotte!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Actors are so strange.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Doorbell rings, Annie
enters</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Oh, thank god! I'll get
that!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Max sprints out the door</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Why on earth did you
invite him over?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: I thought you liked him?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Sure, but not when
he's talking.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Annie and Max enter.
Henry's eyes bulge comically</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Hello, everyone!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Lovely of you two to
come by!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Great! We're leaving now!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Henry can't seem to keep his
tongue in his mouth for some reason</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Oh, Max; do shut up
and sit down. I'll come sit on your lap.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Uh, you guys are married,
right?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Everyone sits but Henry.
Steam has started to come out of Henry's ears</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie:I brought vegetables.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Any cucumbers?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie:Um... will a turnip do?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Charlotte thinks for a bit</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Possibly... let me get
a knife.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Are you making a dip?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: ...Sure.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: I'll help!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Get in here, then.
Oh, listen! They're playing my song!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Song: Tonight you're mine,
completely</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> 'Cause I slipped you a mickey</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> Oh well, the smell</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> Of ether's in your nose</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> I've got you 'till tomorrow!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Max and Charlotte exit to
kitchen as song continues</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> We'll have fun together</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> You won't last forever</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> 'less I can tie</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> A really good bowline</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> I'll get arrested tomorrow</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Henry and Annie are alone in
the living room. Annie plays with her hair and Henry's stands on
end. Max gives a yelp of “Charlotte!” from the kitchen, but
neither Henry nor Annie notice. Annie smiles at Henry and crosses
her legs. We hear AHOOGA AHOOGA noises. If Henry has a bow tie, it
spins now</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Charlotte enters from
kitchen with a bowl of dip, wiping some from her lip</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Here we are!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Max enters from kitchen
looking a bit worn and with a slight limp</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: It's apparently
Hawaiian. Pineapple was involved, anyway.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max (<i>“singing”</i>): I've
lost all my feeling...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie:Oh, God, no!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max (<i>“singing”</i>): I
really should be kneeling...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Charlotte winces in pain</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max (<i>“singing”</i>): From
my waist down all my feeling is gone, gone, gone...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Now even Henry notices,
covering his ears</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max (<i>“singing”</i>):
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Charlotte pulls out a gun
and shoots Max</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Max: Really, Charlotte! (<i>dies</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: What? They shoot
horses, don't they?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>The other two seem to agree</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene Three</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>Max and Annie's house. Annie
walks in as the radio is playing. She looks slightly distracted, as
if she's forgotten something. The music on the radio gives way to
Henry being interviewed. Annie eagerly sits down to listen.</i></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene Four</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>Henry and Annie's temporary
apartment. Henry is typing as Annie enters. He seems very intent as
she walks around in housecoat that barely stays on her, but his
attention is immediately drawn to Annie, eyes following her around
the room. Annie lounges on the sofa across from him and reads her
script. Eventually, she notices he's stopped typing and is just
staring at her.</i></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Carry on as if I'm not
here. I won't be any bother, promise!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>As she reads, her housecoat
falls off slightly to one side, revealing her legs. There's a
muffled 'thump' from under Henry's desk</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: (<i>wincing slightly</i>)
Oh, God.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: How are you getting on?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: I'm not.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: What?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Can't we just have sex
now?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Don't be silly! Not until
you're done your play. Have you been working all night? I didn't
notice you come to bed.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Er... Of course.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: I had the strangest dream,
though...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: I was right here! Didn't
go anywhere near the bedroom!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Something about
vegetables...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Aaaall night! Working
away!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>goes to typewriter</i>)
What have you got so far?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: One hundred and twenty
four pages...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>reads</i>) “All work
and no play makes Henry a dull boy.” Not much plot, is there?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: (<i>Crawls from his desk</i>)
Can we please have sex now?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Oh, Hen! Maybe with a
second plot line woven in there...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Agh!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Well, I'm off to work!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Exits still dressed in
housecoat</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Agh! Agh!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Scene Five</span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>Henry and Annie's new place,
as made obvious by new furniture, different lighting, changed
costumes. Did I mention the advantages of writing for the National
Theatre? Henry is reading. Annie enters from bedroom and eyes Henry
coldly until Henry looks up</i>.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>With perhaps a
slightly Teutonic accent</i>) Vell?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: (<i>Nervously</i>) Uh...
Verdi?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>Stands ramrod
straight, eyes widening</i>) Vat?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Ah... ah... not Verdi?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Annie turns and strides back
into the bedroom</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> Uh oh.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Annie
returns with riding crop</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>Scornfully</i>) Verdi.
How can it be Verdi? It is in German!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Is it? (Annie strides
towards him) It is! It is! One of the Germans! (<i>She raises the
crop</i>) STRAUSS!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Gut. Very gut. Continue
verking.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>She walks to drinks stand
and pours herself some ice wine</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: (<i>Tapping at keyboard</i>)
You... you know... (<i>Annie looks at him</i>) I... uh... I can't
help feeling. Um.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: You may speak freely
here, dahlink.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: That, um, that something's
changed about you.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Nonsense, dahlink. You
vill write the Brodie play now in silence. There will then be sex
for exactly seventeen minutes. Then ve shall drink vine. Then you
vill continue the Brodie play.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: (<i>Muttering</i>) If I
still had my cricket bat-</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: In! Silence!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene Six</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie, back to being Scene Two
Annie, is sitting by the window of a moving train, reading. Billie
enters and sneaks up behind her.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: (<i>In a Scottish accent</i>)
Excuse me, is this seat taken?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: No.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: You'd think with all
these fascists the trains would be on time.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Annie looks up from her
book, otherwise unmoving</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>coldly</i>) What was
that?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: Er, hello.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Improving efficiency is
hardly something to be frowned upon, is it “Billie”?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: What?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Everything and everyone
knowing their place makes a better world for us all, don't you think?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: Uh... I guess?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: And where is your place,
Billie? You're not supposed to be in first class, are you Billie?
You do not belong with the true elites, Billie.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: What are you going to do?
Report me? Jeeze! Okay, okay, I'll go!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>He rises from his seat and
turns to the door</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: One moment. (<i>Billie
pauses</i>) Remove your shirt.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: What? Why?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: It amuses me... and may
let you stay in first class with me. You want to stay with me, don't
you Billie? Away from the stinking, crowed masses behind us? With
me? (<i>He nods</i>) Remove your shirt. (<i>Billie, weeping
silently, starts to remove his shirt</i>) Slower. Slower.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene Seven</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>Henry and Charlotte's former
place, now just Charlotte's. A young Pat Benatar (AKA Debbie) is
smoking by the door while Charlotte is going through old programmes
and past memories. Does she regret? Does her past come to haunt her
in her sleep? Are there dreams of former National Theatre writers
dancing mockingly through her night, waking her with painful
remonstrance? Does she try to drink them away? Perhaps we shall
never know; but we can hope. Oh, Charlotte... Charlotte... Could it
have ever worked?</i></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Since when did you smoke?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: Since “We Live for
Love” hit number twenty-seven in the US. My agent advised it: it's
an image thing.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Why did I pay for music
school again?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Oh, don't be such a
square, daddy-o! It's hip!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Debbie stares at Charlotte</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: Promise me you will
never, ever try to be cool again.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Yes, dear.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: So smoking's cool now, is
it? When did that happen?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: Since “You Better Run”
was broadcast on MTV. (<i>She shrugs</i>) Image thing.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: I can't find it
anywhere!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Why would you want to know
who played Giovanni opposite you now, of all times?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: I'm hoping a number's
attached. He did this GREAT thing with his left hand...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Can we please talk about
Debbie? She's the one hitting the streets!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: It's a world tour, Fa.
Have to support the latest album.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: And you're going on tour
with these... these... carnies?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: Roadies, Fa.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Henry's eyes narrow</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: You're not having...
'relations' with them , are you?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: I married my guitarist
yonks ago, Fa. And it's called sex, not 'relations'.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Good God! How did you
find out about that!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: In school. Honestly,
Henry; it's almost like you never went to all those PTA meetings!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: What PTA meetings?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: HOW ABOUT THAT SEX, HUH?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Sex is fun, Henry!
Why shouldn't she enjoy some now and again?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: (<i>discretely touching
tender spots</i>) Is it?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: Oh, Fa! In school,
everything was sex: French, history, Latin, art, French again,
music... Everything but biology.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Your best subject, I seem
to recall.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: Max helped there.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>They look down at the dried
and partially-dissected corpse of Max still on the floor</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: I had no idea what a
spleen looked like, honest truth.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Suddenly we hear the chorus
to “Hell is for Children”</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: That's my ride. Don't
wait up!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Charlotte walks her to the
door</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: (<i>pushes some cards
into Debbie's hands</i>) Gift certificates for Adam and Eve mail
order. Make sure they go to your home address, or they'll follow
behind you from city to city like particularly slow groupies.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: Thanks, Charlie.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Charlotte: Shh! Your dad
doesn't know about my night job.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: What?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Debbie: Bye, Fa! (<i>Exits</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene Eight</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>Annie is seated in the
audience, near the back. Her eyes are closed in and she seems
restful. Suddenly her mouth drops open and she silently convulses
forward, shaking slightly. Then she relaxes again.</i></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: (<i>Unseen, with an oddly
muffled voice</i>) Can I come up now?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: That was only three,
Billie. If you wish a place in the big show, you will have to work
much harder than that.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: Three? No way that was
only three!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>Warningly</i>)
Billie...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: (<i>Pleading</i>) It's
hot down here.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>Leaning back and
lighting a cigarette</i>) Yes it is, Billie; yes it surely is.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene Nine</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>Henry is waiting at home for
an indeterminate amount of time before Annie enters.</i></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Hello!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Hello. How did it go?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: We had a great finish.
GREAT finish.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>She starts taking off her
coat, putting away her suitcase, etc</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Oh? Good. I thought you-</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Seriously, a great finish!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: I thought you were coming-</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Great, GREAT finish!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: ...coming back on the
sleeper.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: I did and he was lovely.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: What?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>She stops at the bedroom
door</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: I did and it was lovely.
Lunch?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: I called the hotel.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Did you? Did you make
reservations?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: They told me that you –
what?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Reservations. For us?
And here I thought you forgot! Oh, Henry! You are so sweet!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: I... Uh, yes?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>Squeals, embraces
Henry</i>) Yay! I just love you to pieces!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Uh. Yay! But there was
something...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Annie 'embraces' Henry lower
down</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Thank you so much for
remembering, sweetie!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Yay!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene Ten</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>Annie sits on the train,
reading as before. Billie enters slightly more timidly than before,
with a slightly better Scottish accent.</i></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: Er, excuse me? Is this
seat taken?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: No.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: Mind if I sit down?
Ma'am?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: It is a free country.
(<i>Lower</i>) For now.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (Billie sits with some
trepidation)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: D'you reckon? (<i>She
ignores him</i>) Going far?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: To London. All... the...
way... down.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: (<i>Sweating profusely</i>)
My name's Bill. You... you put me in mind of Mussolini.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>Looks at him with a
smile of pure evil</i>) That was wrong.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: What?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: That was the last script,
Billie.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: Oh, God!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>Standing, staring at
Billie</i>) We're going to need a half hour break, Roger.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Roger: (<i>Voice over</i>) All
right, darling. Remember, nothing on the hands or face this time!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: Oh, no.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
Scene Eleven</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry, looking healthier than
last we saw him, is listening to Bach's 'Air on a G String' playing
on the radio. The phone rings as Annie walks through the room.
Henry answers.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.22cm; text-indent: -1.22cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: If that's them tell them
I've left.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Hello? (<i>Sees Annie is
looking at him</i>) Annie's left... Oh. (<i>To Annie</i>) It's
your... friend.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Annie takes the phone from
Henry</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Billie? Yes, I'll be
there in a bit. Out of curiosity, how did you...? Oh, someone else
dialled for you? Was it Roger? I see. No, I will be there soon.
Very soon. Discipline is important, Billie.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>She hangs up</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Is everything going all
right, then?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: I may have to drop Billie.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Ah.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>Looking Henry over
contemplatively</i>) I may be spending more time at home. This might
be good for you: I can focus more on my – our – home life. (<i>She
leaves</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: (<i>Sits on the couch,
having turned a slightly green shade of pale</i>) Please, please,
please, don't.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
Scene Twelve</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"><i>In blackout the music gives
way to various sounds involving a prison, possibly from the medieval
era. Crackling fire, echoing screams, hissing steam, the rattle of
chains. Light slowly increases, starting with the glow of a TV
screen. Eventually we see Brodie, transfixed by what he sees on the
TV screen. Henry enters with a water jug for Brodie's scotch.</i></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>voice over</i>) Don't
you ever, EVER change!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: <i>(voice over</i>) No,
ma'am! I won't! I promise!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: (<i>voice over</i>) Never!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>We hear a whip crack and a
scream</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Billie: (<i>voice over</i>) I
won't! I won't! Thank you ma'am!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">(<i>End credits music begins and
Brodie turns off the TV</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Brodie: 'Rosie of the Royal
Infirmary' changed a bit since I went in, then.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: Ever since cable, really.
Lots of pressure to keep up ratings against increased competition
sort of thing.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Brodie: The pretty one wasn't
supposed to be (<i>swallows</i>) me, was he?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: You'd better hope not.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">(<i>Annie enters as Brodie
finishes what's left in his glass</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Brodie: Can I have another?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: You could earn it...</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Brodie: I think I've got to go,
then.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Annie: Come back for some dip
another time!</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;"> (<i>Brodie pales and runs out
the door</i>)</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, monospace;">Henry: I know what you did to me;
but you scared the hell out of him. (<i>The phone rings and he
answers it</i>) Hello? Oh, hello, Max! What? Well that's
fantastic! Married, eh? Can't wait to meet her. Who is she? Oh,
she's from Canada and I wouldn't know her? Never comes to the
country, but is really, really cool. Sure. Oh, and hot too, is she?
Sure, Max. Sure she is. Say, aren't you dead?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
<br />
</div>
<br />
<div align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.24cm; text-indent: -1.24cm;">
End</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-15204524938620927092014-06-15T21:00:00.001-07:002014-06-15T21:00:28.979-07:00What's the Big Deal?I do theatre.<br />
<br />
I've been paid to be on stage a couple times, but otherwise it's strictly amateur stuff. I grew up in a place that had a ridiculous amount of artistic talent floating around - a smallish island with loads of active artists and retired (or semi-retired) performers from every field you could imagine: actors and techies from Hollywood to the London stage; singers of all stripes; writers of scripts or poems or novels; painters, sculptors, designers...<br />
<br />
What I'm saying is, it was tough NOT to get infected with an artistic appreciation if you were even the slightest bit conscious. Which made it a very interesting place to be, even if I did eventually have to leave because we couldn't afford to live there any more. It took me a while in my new location to see who was around and get back into theatre, because one of the many lovely features working in unskilled labour jobs is that the hours are going to be A) shit and B) random. If you can't be reliable, there's no point in auditioning.<br />
<br />
Fortunately (?) after the usual run of jobs and getting fired from as many as I quit (monkey wages = monkey work, kids! I don't swallow shit you don't pay me to eat!) I decided to see if the problem was the employers or the employee, so started my own locksmith shop a couple years back. Meaning I could basically pick my own hours, meaning I could get back into doing a show a year. In Winter, at least: Summer's when the tourists lock themselves out of their cars or lose their keys in the lake, and at this point money still comes first.<br />
<br />
So I've been thinking about why I love to do theatre so much. I've done a fair amount of technical stuff, but am pretty much on stage exclusively now. Less time to help in other areas, so I've got to be a bit greedy. But <i>why</i> do I have to be 'greedy'? Why the compulsion to go on stage at all? I've thought about it for a few years, and this is as clear as my thoughts have gotten (actual clarity of thoughts transmitted to writing not guaranteed):<br />
<br />
I owe it.<br />
<br />
As pretentious as it sounds, it's also true. I'm a nerd, have been all my life, and see no real opportunity (or, for that mater, reason) to change in the near future. What cultural stigma was attached to being a nerd was eased by living in a small town - in a larger population, I may well have found a clique to fall in with; but no matter how odd, vulgar, rich, etc. you were, you were still known as 'you' first and foremost. Which is pretty damn cool.<br />
<br />
That being said, there was simply <i>less</i> there - and by less I mean less of everything: fewer opportunities to bump your life against people who are radically different; fewer chances to argue with concepts you disagree with; fewer cultures to mock, or admire, or lose yourself in (or all three). Less to compare and to contrast and to steal from. Just... <i>less</i>. Now, add that to the social awkwardness and general inability to make friends that nerds (especially early-teen ones) are prone to and, well, it's an introvert's dream, but perhaps not the healthiest option.<br />
<br />
In theatre, I could explore not only different ideas and try to understand other people, but I could explore those parts of myself I might not otherwise have even thought of. Everyone does this sooner or later, but discovering who you are is when you can start finding out who you can be, and frankly the sooner you can do that the better for everyone around you.<br />
<br />
There is very little in life more pathetic (in every sense) than a mid-life crisis. I mean, it's good that you're examining your life and all, but what the hell took you so long? I digress.<br />
<br />
But here's the other thing about theatre, and it's absolutely vital: there is no room for cowards.<br />
<br />
Now, I'm not saying you don't have fear - for some people that kicks in as soon as they hear auditions are happening right up to their entry line. But that's just fear of failure, perfectly normal stuff which means you're actually doing things with witnesses. That's something that can (and does) happen everywhere and can be dealt with however you want to.<br />
<br />
But what you can't be, is you can't be afraid when you're in front of an audience. Or you will fail. And there is exactly one defense against that: be someone else. The more you are that other person, the more complete the armour is, and the better you will be. You can't think: "this person would behave this way" when you're on stage, because that means you are on stage trying to pull strings <i>and it shows</i>. You have to know who the character you are to portray is before you ever get near a performance. This will force you to think about people who aren't like you, with ideas and lives that aren't yours. Which means you will find out who you are.<br />
<br />
Which is what theatre did, and does, for me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-82647016748948489712014-05-29T16:47:00.004-07:002015-12-07T11:32:30.183-08:00Fear and the Single ManWe all know the advertising maxim: Sex Sells.<br />
<br />
There's a reason why sex sells, and that's because it has a primal appeal to all of us. Many other things sell for exactly the same reason: comfort, ownership, and stability are all pieces of the life everyone wants, consciously or otherwise. Even the most adventurous of us want to have a base level we can return to, though what that level is varies from person to person and experience to experience - I like taking risks (starting my own business, for instance) but could only convince myself to do so because I have a fantastically stable home life and brilliant Partner-in-Crime to take those risks with. Peer pressure is based on exactly those comforts - having friends who accept you, being part of a community with at least one shared value (<a href="http://www.nucksmisconduct.com/" target="_blank">Canucks fans</a> HOLLA!) to communicate with, that sort of thing.<br />
<br />
Fear also sells very well, but that fear is of one of having your stability taken from you: friends who no longer accept you; your home or comforts taken away; suddenly living among people who don't share your values. What looks like fear is actually selling stability: essentially blandness, predictability, and normality.<br />
<br />
Even hierarchical commercials showing some <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGJSI48gkFc" target="_blank">incredibly conceited asshole</a> at the so-called top of the social food chain isn't selling wealth or attainment so much as selling stability: if you're at the top, you get comfort. Even if you can't tolerate your family enough to look at them, at least they're <i>there</i>, right?<br />
<br />
What many people miss is that the messages are not necessarily aimed at, or received by, who you think. For instance, do you actually think that anyone who lives in that asshole's house drives a <i>Cadillac</i>? Or one that can afford to buy their wife a car as a surprise gift would get her a Volkswagen Jetta and expect her to be happy about it? No, of course not. The idea is to give people who would drive a Cadillac or Volkswagen the idea that it's what people already at that level of comfort - much higher than the actual target audience - would do. The message is aspirational: people who have 'succeeded' do this, so if you do this it means you too have succeeded.<br />
<br />
Sell the idea first, then your target will want the product.<br />
<br />
This is the basis of the NRAs advertising, and has been for years, including this season's spectacularly fearsome and explicit commercial released a month ago. It's got the usual fearmongering boilerplate that's to be expected ("Bad people are doing bad things! And NO ONE PAYS!!!") but the more interesting paragraph (to me) is the second:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2014/04/nra-do-you-believe-in-good-guys.html" target="_blank">Where the gates to success swing open for hypocrites. chameleons, bullies, and yes men.</a></blockquote>
<br />
So... how exactly are guns going to help with that?<br />
<br />
The aren't, of course, as anyone sane would acknowledge. But the meaning is implicit: guns <i>could</i> help with that. Guns can help save you from those evil people who are holding you back. Your success is being kept from you by a secret - or not-so-secret - cabal of "hypocrites, chameleons, bullies, and yes men".<br />
<br />
If you aren't familiar with the term "entitlement", this is it in its purest form. The idea that you are <i>owed</i> 'success', and if you don't have it then something is wrong with the world around you: someone, somewhere, is keeping you down. The problem is NOT you, and (more importantly) there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, so you'd better get a gun.<br />
<br />
Where is we find Santa Barbara shooter/stabber/psycho Elliot Rogers and the so-called Pick Up Artist community.<br />
<br />
I don't say "psycho" lightly, here: he had serious mental problems, and one of the issues was he was a psychopath: he had a history of anti-social and amoral behaviour as well as acting out violently, combined (as is easily seen in his rambling, poorly-thought-out manifesto) with a self-justified hatred of women. These are not normal or acceptable behaviours, and bending definitions to avoid saying a word isn't doing anyone any favours. He had been seeing therapists since he was nine years old, and had a visit by police who were sent to him by his mother after she was disturbed by a video he had posted on line only weeks before his rampage.<br />
<br />
Rogers was so far up his own ass that he could have given his polyps names. He fell into one of the most common traps of teenage boys the world over: he thought he was a nice guy, and that combined with his horniness meant he should have had sex with whatever girl he wanted. He was polite, and kind, and sweet, and all that sort of crap so why didn't girls liiiiiiike him?<br />
<br />
(Okay, I'm just going to stop there because it's WAY too familiar for so many of us. What I <a href="http://politecompany.blogspot.ca/2008/01/date-nerd-its-worth-it.html" target="_blank">wrote in 2008</a> in reply to one commenter still applies today, so if you want to see my own version of "suck it up, buttercup" it's back there.)<br />
<br />
So if this is standard nerd-fare through adolescence (and has been for... well, ever as far as I can tell), why talk about those oh-so-studly guys in the Pick Up Artist crowd? He's obviously not one of them, or he'd be way more successful with the ladies, amirite?<br />
<br />
Sure, in much the same way owning a gun makes you a superhero. In exactly the same way, in fact: both groups rely heavily on fear of inadequacy to convince others to pay them.<br />
<br />
In the Pick Up Artist World(tm), the guys who actually have women interested in them are horrible: they treat women badly, never care about them, are all fabulously wealthy meatheads who don't actually deserve women. They insist that these are the only guys women are ever attracted to, and they are the Alpha Males. Any guy who doesn't get women because they're nice (and yes, it's <i>because</i> they are 'nice') are Beta Males.<br />
<br />
Stop laughing! They're serious!<br />
<br />
In any case, the folks who target young men with these insecurities (insecurities which they fully encourage to foster and grow) then promise a 'cure' by selling them magical rituals to help overcome their own Beta-ness and, more importantly, get revenge on women who turned them down in the first place by having sex with skanks.<br />
<br />
Think I'm kidding about that last bit? I'm paraphrasing slightly, but not by as much as I'd like to: women are regularly referenced as 'targets', 'marks', 'scores'... anything other than actual humans. Plus, of course, they are all lumped together as a single homogeneous mass: 'typical women' is a very common refrain, though occasionally spiced up with the term 'American' or 'Western' thrown in the middle. That alone should give you a clue where this inevitably is heading:<br />
<br />
Women in nations with strong human rights are far worse (to the PUAs) than ones in nations that limit those rights.<br />
<br />
This lack of self-awareness runs spectacularly deep: any woman who has had sex is essentially worthless except as a fuck-toy, while at the same time the objective of these self-same Pick Up Artists and their acolytes is to have sex with as many women as they can. Highest score wins, boys! Yes, it's the ages-old <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna%E2%80%93whore_complex" target="_blank">Madonna/Whore complex</a> back for the latest generation of men who refuse to read history. Want an encapsulating quote? Here you go!<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: "georgia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Until you give men like Rodger a way to have sex, either by encouraging him to learn game, seek out a Thai wife, or engage in legalized prostitution—three things that the American media and cultural elite venomously attack, it’s inevitable for another massacre to occur. Even game itself, as useful as it is on a individual level, is a band-aid fix upon a culture which has stopped rewarding nice guys while encouraging female whoring to benefit only the top 10% of alpha males, all in the name of societal progress.</span></blockquote>
<br />
Hope you didn't think I was kidding. Apparently it's not occurred to this<a href="http://www.complexmag.ca/city-guide/2013/10/map-easiness-of-girls-by-country" target="_blank"> spectacular idiot</a> that there may be something wrong with "Give us sex or we'll kill you" as a working social philosophy.<br />
<br />
Rogers references the language of the Pick Up Artist crowd repeatedly in his rants (video and written), and it's clearly something he believed, and those rants are filled with his fear and anger at being considered a lesser person by exactly those people who created the language and social structure he was referencing. Any guesses who else encourages this style of thinking? A big ol' hint can be had in his own words:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px;">After I picked up the handgun, I brought it back to my room and felt a new sense of power. I was now armed. Who's the alpha male now, bitches? I thought to myself, regarding all of the girls who've looked down on me in the past.</span></blockquote>
<br />
Yeah. Any guesses what group has fought hard to avoid or nullify any regulation that would have prevented that gun from getting into Rodger's hands? Hint: it's the same one who believes "Everyone should have guns" is better than "Some people shouldn't have guns".<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.google.ca/search?q=NRA+gun+control+victories&rlz=1C1CHWA_enCA585CA585&oq=NRA+gun+control+victories&aqs=chrome..69i57.9035j0j8&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=0&ie=UTF-8" target="_blank">No cheating, now</a>!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-19967426245345506352014-03-22T15:23:00.003-07:002015-12-07T11:24:34.840-08:00Know What's Funny?You've probably seen them: the shirts in banner ads reading<br />
<br />
"D.A.D.D.<br />
Dads Against Daughters Dating<br />
Shoot the first one, and word will spread!"<br />
<br />
It gets a bit less humourous when you see someone who <a href="http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/Dad-shoots-teen-found-in-his-daughter-s-room-5313696.php" target="_blank">did just </a><a href="http://www.khou.com/news/local/Deputy-constables-Dad-shoots-teen-boy-found-in-daughters-bedroom-250041711.html" target="_blank">that</a>. Heck, it's not like it hasn't <a href="http://www.krem.com/news/Oregon-dad-sentenced-for-firing-gun-211185771.html" target="_blank">happened before</a>, plus who knows how many times in fiction! More disappointing than the shooting are the people - almost exclusively men - who leap to defend the choice those two men made. Heat of the moment, arguments preceeded the shootings, the girls were too young, etc. The guys who are jumping into the argument aren't intimately involved with either case, and they have some emotional distance. So what about the arguments are they making?<br />
<br />
The first is obvious; the second I would certainly hope was the case; the third is the most telling. In the latest case, she was 16 and her boyfriend 17. Depends on who you are, of course: some think so, others don't. But more importantly is the idea that her dad is 'protecting' her.<br />
<br />
Protecting her from what?<br />
<br />
North America as a whole has a wee bit of a problem with the issue of sexuality: a big chunk of that is going to have come from how the nations were founded. Roman Catholic stricture or Protestant Puritan censure is hardly going to lead to the hedonistic freedoms you might think. There was some leavening in the mix provided by the folks who were here at the time, but the indigenous tribes were pretty much <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/books/2012/11/thomas-king-on-the-inconvenient-indian.html" target="_blank">culturally steamrolled</a> within a century (though <a href="http://www.johnralstonsaul.com/eng/non_fiction_books.php?mc=A%20Fair%20Country:%20Telling%20Truths%20about%20Canada" target="_blank">echoes remain</a>).<br />
<br />
"What was she wearing" is still a common question in the public forums even after it had been expressly banned in rape cases. Think that's not all about controlling women's sexuality? Fair enough, it <i>could</i> indeed be about something else, but it'll be kind of difficult to explain how priorities can be screwed up enough that <a href="http://www.endthebacklog.org/backlog/what-backlog" target="_blank">hundreds of thousands of rape kits can go untested</a>.<br />
<br />
If they are there, why do they go untested? The kits were used - the incredibly invasive prodecure was done, and samples were collected. But a decision somewhere along the way was made to put the budgets into other fields, leaving a massive backlog of the best tools we have to catch rapists - a crime that has one of the highest levels of mulitples (same perpetrator repeats the same crime) of any violent criminal activity.<br />
<br />
Why?<br />
<br />
There are excuses, but there is a reason why those excuses are thought to be acceptable, and it isn't often mentioned. Or mentioned at all that I've ever seen.<br />
<br />
Embarrassment.<br />
<br />
The idea - the myth - is that men are responsible for women's sexuality. Men have cast themselves in the role of the Protectors of Innocence and Virtue (or at least of Nookie). That a woman <i>could</i> be raped is seen as a failure to somehow guard them and it leads to two responses: either foot/budget shuffling and looking anywhere else, or sudden hyper-vigilantism. Both are highly visible, and neither is the response of someone willing to accept responsibility.<br />
<br />
That the foot shuffling is being pointed out now is a good thing: blaming the woman for getting raped has finally gotten some pushback in recent years with laws limiting past history being used in court cases, and "she was there, so she must have wanted it" becoming less and less acceptable, making you wonder why it ever was...<br />
<br />
But there has been less condemnation of the hyper-vigilantism than there should be. Some of the most extreme variants have been mocked, and deservedly so: seriously, if "<a href="http://politecompany.blogspot.ca/2006/04/sex-perversity-comes-home.html" target="_blank">Purity Balls</a>" where the father pledges to take responsibilty for his daughter's virginity doesn't creep you the hell out, I don't want to know what does.<br />
<br />
Outside the obvious, though, there are other sides to these defenders-o'-the-gates that isn't as explicitly stated. On March 25th, the Supreme Court is going to hear from widespread tchotchke specialists Hobby Lobby. <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/closeread/2013/11/the-stakes-in-the-hobby-lobby-birth-control-case.html" target="_blank">You've heard about that case</a>, I'm sure: they are owned by religious fundamentalists who don't want to be forced to pay for employees abortions, right?<br />
<br />
Close.<br />
<br />
They actually don't want any of their female employees to get any birth control or women's specialist clinic visits at all. Not "we don't want to pay for it"; they're saying "we don't want them to have it". There are four specific types of birth control the owners of Hobby Lobby want no part of because of their belief they athey are actually causing abortions by stopping fertilized eggs from implanting in the womb, which seems straightforward enough. After all, if the US government can reach a <a href="http://www.hilltopviewsonline.com/news/article_1a7a0396-7f64-11e2-ba77-001a4bcf6878.html" target="_blank">comprimise</a> with Catholic owned and run institutions then a business shouldn't be a problem: just have the female employees sign the same piece of paper saying that those will be paid for by the insurance company rather than the employer.<br />
<br />
Except, <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/03/19/3415983/hobby-lobby-contraception-counseling/" target="_blank">no</a>.<br />
<br />
The clauses Hobby Lobby (and co-plaintiff Conestoga Wood Specialties) wants to be exempted from include clinic visits, education, and counseling. They do not want those methods of birth control even mentioned during any doctor visits because then they would be 'morally liable' for the woman's decisions.<br />
<br />
To be clear: penis pumps, implants, and boner pills are covered in many medical plans (including federal ones <a href="http://www.thewire.com/entertainment/2014/03/daily-show-discovers-why-government-paying-penis-pumps/359129/" target="_blank">like Medicare</a> and the <a href="http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/02/20/5-sexual-health-services-insurance-will-cover-for-men/" target="_blank">Affordable Care Act</a>) without background checks, marital status conditions, or employer's say-so. The ONLY reason for that discrepancy and obvious hypocracy is that men are men and women aren't.<br />
<br />
Women who want sex are evil. Wanton. Reckless. And clearly, they have to be forced into 'good' (celibate) behaviour for their own protection. The same line of reasoning is repeatedly applied to sex education in schools or sex on in movies: Save the Children (and Women)!<br />
<br />
Again, save them from what?<br />
<br />
What's being protested against isn't promiscuity; though some few of the more <a href="http://www.examiner.com/article/bill-o-reilly-viagra-is-for-health-contraceptives-are-for-promiscuity" target="_blank">honest complainers</a> will say so, they simply don't know any better. What is being protested is the possibility that women can be responsible for their own sexuality <i>without men's help</i>. That women may not need a bodyguard for their bodies, and would frankly rather be left to make their decisions about who's doing what to them (and when) all on their own.<br />
<br />
Oh, and the case of the dad who killed Johran McCormick because his daughter snuck him into her room that night? There's religious precedent for the father's act... but he killed the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%2022:13-21" target="_blank">wrong person</a>:<br />
<br />
<i><span class="text Deut-22-20" id="en-NIV-5491">Deuteronomy 22: 20-21 - If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found,</span><span class="text Deut-22-21" id="en-NIV-5492"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>she
shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of
her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you.</span></i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-29600983628591628352014-02-26T16:32:00.002-08:002014-02-26T16:32:29.668-08:00Good Guys With GunsMass shootings are clearly good for the NRA and the gun manufacturers they are beholden to. The more that happen, in fact, the better they do. Why else do you think they deliberately choose to have gun shows in towns with mass shootings, sometimes scheduled for the <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2012/01/06/399800/tucson-gun-show-held-on-anniversary-of-giffords-shooting/#" target="_blank">very anniversary</a>? Because they've long ago given up on any shred of decency or humanity in exchange for the increased sales such a controversial date might bring in?<br />
<br />
Well, yes.<br />
<br />
There are gun advocate rallies that target (so to speak) any assemblies or anniversaries that might promote the idea that some modicum of control should be put in place, counting on repeated cries of "FREEDOOOMMMM!!!11!!" drowning out all other conversation that might be happening at the time. Though granted some times, on extra special occasions, even their stone ears will hear outrage enough to bump special occasions <a href="http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Guns-Save-Lives-Day-Moved-from-Dec-14-to-Dec-15-227746111.html" target="_blank">forward one day</a>.<br />
<br />
But why it works for them is the more interesting point: by causing controversy, they can control some of the message. How it works is simple:<br />
<br />
Someone in the media notices the event happening - often through a helpful email from the group itself - and the media asks the quite reasonable question "What are you assholes <b>doing</b>?" Instant forum! And that lets them spread their favourite talking point over the past couple years:<br />
<br />
"The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun."<br />
<br />
This coming from Wayne LaPierre, chief bottle washer of the NRA (in case you couldn't tell). He's the same person who opposes even the most basic safeguards (<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/10/opinion/donohue-background-checks/" target="_blank">background checks</a>) being put in place, despite the NRA membership - and gun owners in general - <a href="http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp1300512" target="_blank">tending to be in favour of them</a>.<br />
<br />
Though to be fair, there was a group of pro-gun lobbyists who were in favour of background checks, saying this:<br />
<br />
"We think it's reasonable to provide mandatory instant criminal
background checks for every sale at every gun show. No loopholes
anywhere for anyone."<br />
<br />
That would be the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-oqfPojhec" target="_blank">NRA executive VP Wayne LaPierre</a>, 25 years ago.<br />
<br />
Between then and now, the NRA has spent more time with, and gotten more money from, gun manufacturers than its total US membership, so you can guess who's calling the shots. Which brings us back to the NRA's new tactic, "Sloganeer until they go deaf". Still, I suppose that is better than "<a href="http://www.texasmonthly.com/daily-post/what-exactly-happened-between-open-carry-demonstrators-and-moms-gun-control-dallas" target="_blank">Stalk our opponents with high-powered weaponry</a>".<br />
<br />
<br />
You'll occasionally see a pro-gun lobby group bragging about over 2,100 people being "saved by guns" every day, which is a badly stretched truth latched onto from criminologist Dr. Gary Kleck, who in turn got his information from a 1981 poll that asked 1,228 Americans if they had used a handgun for protection of themselves or their property. The Kleck report was looked at in <a href="http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,152446,00.html" target="_blank">Time back in 2001</a>, and even Kleck himself thought the extrapolation was unsound, the biggest problem being a classic for anyone trying to track statistics: proving a negative. Surveys about crime prevention are relying on respondents for the simple reason that if a crime is prevented, then there is little likelihood of there being a paper trail - it is far more likely to go unreported, so the proof isn't there. Unfortunately, it also means that anyone who decided to flash a gun could be under the impression that they "prevented a crime".<br />
<br />
And so to "good guys with guns".<br />
<br />
My principal problem with this statement is that it implies the speaker is fine with a few deaths. They're okay with "bad guys" getting guns, so long as "good guys" get to kill them. After all, it's not like someone's going to kill <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/01/08/ctv.toy.guns/" target="_blank">these</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Penley" target="_blank">gunmen</a> until <a href="http://www.fox16.com/news/story/Jury-finds-officers-not-liable-in-DeAunta-Farrows/d/story/K3J09AuQ10CSXyV3PfL6kA" target="_blank">they</a> show <a href="http://www.turnto23.com/news/man-holding-toy-gun-shot-to-death-by-police" target="_blank">themselves</a> to be <a href="http://www.mlive.com/news/kalamazoo/index.ssf/2013/11/14-year-old_shot_by_battle_cre.html" target="_blank">gunmen</a>, <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2013/nov/04/local/la-me-replica-guns-20131105" target="_blank">right</a>? Of course, there's the idea of making fake guns brightly coloured or otherwise as unrealistic as possible (which again the NRA opposes because they wouldn't sell as well). A good idea, if only gun manufacturers hadn't <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2274182/Tmorej-Smith-boy-3-shoots-dead-finding-pink-handgun-lying-home.html" target="_blank">done the same thing</a> in the name of fashion.<br />
<br />
In the movies of their minds, said Bad Guy bursts into a cinema/school/local brothel and starts killing off women and children with malicious glee, ogling a nearby starlet/cheerleader/prostitute-with-a-heart-of-gold while salivating copious amounts of drool running off an unshaved chin. But, BEHOLD! Buckeye Boomstick appears, striding confidently into the room with his manly piece in hand (named Agnes, after his dear departed mother). He gazes coolly at the snarling mendicant (who is outraged that the swooning starlet/cheerleader/prostitute-with-a-heart-of-gold suddenly has eyes for no one but the newly arrived Adonis) and slowly brings his gun level with the fiend's eyes. Bullets spray around him as the panicked madman fires wildly, but one shot with clean precision from Our Hero empties his foe's skull of strangely odourless brains.<br />
<br />
What they are <b>not</b> interested in is preventing the "bad guy" from getting a gun in the first place: after all, why would the starlet/cheerleader/prostitute-with-a-heart-of-gold fall in love with them if they didn't kill the Bad Guy, and why would they kill the Bad Guy if he wasn't shooting people?<br />
<br />
Why indeed.<br />
<br />
You could ask Michael Dunn, <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/02/16/1277981/-Michael-Dunn-the-Murderous-Bullying-S-O-B-that-the-Jury-Hardly-Knew#" target="_blank">the man who held a gun to the temples of two seperate 'mail order' brides while threatening them with exrtadition</a>, who fired into an SUV because the kids in there were playing music too loudly, and continued to fire as it drove away. Is he a "good guy with a gun" or a "bad guy with a gun"?<br />
<br />
<br />
There's the (currently) most famous shooter, of course. You know, the one who <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Trayvon_Martin#George_Zimmerman" target="_blank">saw a hoodie and decided to do something about it</a>, then drew his gun and fired when he got scared. Is he a "good guy with a gun" or a "bad guy with a gun"?<br />
<br />
Or Curtis Reeves, shooting <a href="http://www.vancouversun.com/news/charged+Florida+movie+theatre+shooting+over+texting+said+victim+attacked+with+popcorn/9390139/story.html" target="_blank">a fellow movie goer</a> because he threw popcorn at him? Is he a "good guy with a gun" or a "bad guy with a gun"?<br />
<br />
Willie Noble, the dad who decided his property was being attacked, so defended it by shooting at the <a href="http://www.thv11.com/news/article/298118/2/Shooting-leaves-teen-dead" target="_blank">kids who were pranking his son</a>? Good or bad?<br />
<br />
How about Brian Cloninger, who <a href="http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2013/09/05/parents-of-8-year-old-shot-ask-for-prayers/" target="_blank">opened fire on an eight year old boy playing tag</a>? Is he a "good guy with a gun" or a "bad guy with a gun"?<br />
<br />
Hey, what about Issac Alveres, <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/1998/aug/08/local/me-11196" target="_blank">shot with his own rifle by a four year old</a>? Is the four year old a "good guy with a gun"? Or is Alveres a "bad guy with a gun"?<br />
<br />
Or the other extreme - a <a href="http://archive.thv11.com/news/article/278849/2/107-year-old-Arkansas-man-dies-in-shootout-with-SWAT?odyssey=obinsite" target="_blank">107 year old man</a> who decided to shoot through his door when police knocked? No reason for him not to be armed, so he must be a "good guy with a gun", right?<br />
<br />
Or you could just type in "<a href="https://www.google.ca/search?q=child+shot+brother&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=np&source=hp&gfe_rd=ctrl&ei=anINU8-9DYWHoQTwv4DYDg&gws_rd=cr#channel=np&q=child+shot+sibling&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official" target="_blank">Child shot sibling</a>" into Google and see what happens. Those kids good or bad?<br />
<br />
These are deaths the NRA is fine with. Impulse control - exacerbated by the insanity of the "Stand Your Ground" laws, which, <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2014/02/_stand_your_ground_nation_from_trayvon_martin_to_jordan_davis_how_our_understanding.single.html" target="_blank">as is pointed out</a>, takes the Castle Doctrine (defending your home with lethal force) and lets you take your castle with you wherever you go. In the cases of Dunn, Zimmerman, and Reeves (and who knows how many more) the shooter <b>instigated</b> the confrontation that led to the shooting. They undoubtedly was themselves asthe "good guys", Dunn going so far as comparing himself <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2014/02/18/3300561/michael-dunn-compares-rape-victim-newly-released-calls-prison/" target="_blank">with a rape victim</a>.<br />
<br />
But it's not just these deaths the NRA can live with. The odds of a suicide happening in a home increase by 500% if that home has a gun in it. As with the impulse killings, a gun allows lethal force to be applied instantaneously. Wanting to kill for five minutes - yourself or someone else - is simply less likely to be acted on if the means aren't at hand, removing if not the temptation then at least the ability to apply a premanent solution to what is most likely a temporary problem.<br />
<br />
None of these actually help the NRA out, so they stay pretty much in the background: there aren't enough opportunities for their fanatics to fantasize about saving the day; which is why the next time you hear from the NRA and Wayne LaPierre it will mean there's been another good, wholesome massacre.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-65483296816579116062014-02-14T16:10:00.002-08:002014-02-14T16:10:32.386-08:00Three SongsThe Significant Other and I have a marvelous relationship, a hearty mix of reality, mild sarcasm, and unapologetic schmaltz. These three songs are what I picked to exemplify our relationship. You?<br />
<br />
Guy Clark and Emmylou Harris, "I Don't Love You Much, Do I?"<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muhdk1bUNEg">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muhdk1bUNEg</a><br />
<br />
Tim Minchin, "If I Didn't Have You"<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAzodf69rfk">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAzodf69rfk</a><br />
<br />
Tom Waits, "I Can't Wait to Get Off Work"<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_md9StVE-U&feature=kp">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_md9StVE-U&feature=kp</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-15405012512100196782014-02-13T11:49:00.003-08:002014-02-13T11:58:02.101-08:00Well, Really......Which one <a href="http://www.avclub.com/article/stephen-colbert-is-auctioning-off-the-microwave-he-107709" target="_blank">would you rather have</a>?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-86509685429253781782014-02-11T16:59:00.000-08:002014-02-11T16:59:54.552-08:00Well, That's ScarySo after (literally) months of back-and-forth with the game service Steam, we have finally figured out how to play Bioshock: Infinite on my 'puter.<br />
<br />
It's been a frustrating amount of time, though certainly not something I was working solidly on: we'd exchange letters over a few days, then I'd get busy on life, then a couple weeks later realize I spent a fair chunk of money on a few games I couldn't play for some undiagnosed reason, so I'd re-open the file and we'd try again, get the same unsatisfying results, etc.<br />
<br />
Long story short, there was an issue with forcing the program to accept that I was the administrator that got fixed by opening files and inserting a couple lines of code. I'm not sure how I <i>wasn't</i> the administrator, as nobody else uses my computer, but there it is.<br />
<br />
But I could play! And a delightful game it is, with possibly my favourite part being the unintentional repetition by some opponents of the Affordable Care Act (AKA "Obamacare") showing up in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4R88oRfbzU" target="_blank">Jeramiah Fink's propaganda</a>. You know, those people who are saying that basic health care will cause poor people to quit their jobs and laze about in front of their televisions eating bon-bons, what with idle hands being the Devil's work and all. That's because those folks are entitled idiots who have no fucking clue what poverty actually is.<br />
<br />
(Er, spoilers all over that video, naturally; so don't watch if you haven't played yet.) <br />
<br />
But beside that, the big draw is (once again) story. The gameplay is okay, if occasionally frustrating, but the I'm loving the plot as much as in the first two games.<br />
<br />
Alas, it also meant I ended up playing nearly twelve hours in my opening stretch. There was a break in there to walk the dogs and to (reluctantly) eat dinner, but other than those, yeah... It's a bit addictive. Again.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10317510.post-84780337305689832672014-02-08T12:52:00.000-08:002014-02-08T12:53:52.349-08:00How Dare You Try Helping!The Winter Olympics are underway. There was some question as to whether it would ever happen, between the terrorist threats (seriously, hosting the Olympics 250 miles from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chechnya" target="_blank">Chechnya</a> on the 150th anniversary of the ethnic cleansing there, one hundred years after Russa invaded, and less than twenty years after TWO wars of independence? Hm.) and, of course, the Russian domestic policy of '<a href="http://www.policymic.com/articles/58649/russia-s-anti-gay-law-spelled-out-in-plain-english" target="_blank">Gays Don't Really Exist, And If They Do Shut The Hell Up</a>'.<br />
<br />
For the folks who are complaining that things aren't great in the US for queer people "so there!", I'd like to point out that this, exactly THIS, is something that's going to help.<br />
<br />
First off, boycotts of the Olympis do nothing but help the medal counts of the nations people are complaining about. Think of the 1936 Games: what is the primary story you know about them? I'll bet 90% of you thought of the rather non-aryan Jesse Owens. Now picture the total number of medals Nazi Germany would have won had the Allied nations boycotted. Bear in mind, this was at a time when Owens wasn't allowed in the same places in the US; but now he could be a powerful image of how ridiculous that idea (segregation) was...<br />
<br />
Basically, who is a more effective spokesperson for queer rights in Russia: a very good athlete - a world champion, even - who didn't take part in the Olympics, or a gold medal winner who says 'this law is ridiculous'?<br />
<br />
Likewise, the "Western" nations racked up the wins in Los Angeles because Russia and their allies didn't bother to show up (much to <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/1984/08/10/business/advertising-big-mac-s-olympic-giveaway.html" target="_blank">McDonald's dismay</a>) in retaliation for those same "Western" nations boycotting the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1980_Summer_Olympics_boycott" target="_blank">1980 Games in Moscow</a> - which led to huge medal counts for the "Eastern Bloc" countries. All that either of the boycotts did was increase medal counts for the host nations and nothing else.<br />
<br />
Showing that the US as a whole - the image they are putting forward into the world - is going to be one of tolerace toward queer people IS going to encourage the same response domestically. The image a nation has of itself - the stories we tell of us - is key in directing the future. It's a message that is overly simplistic, certainly, but that's what's most likely to sink in to the folks who are still aggressively opposed to it.<br />
<br />
"Hey! Don't you pick on those gay folk! They're OUR gay folk to pick on!" is an eye-rolling statement to hear, but even that little bit of progress is an improvement. Lots of people who have limited their vision to only include homophobic and xenophobic views are going to be exposed to this debate if they watch ANY of the Olympics. Or, for that matter, use the largest search engine in the world (<a href="http://www.ebizmba.com/articles/search-engines" target="_blank">by FAR</a>) to check out the <a href="http://www.google.com/doodles/2014-winter-olympics" target="_blank">opening ceremony</a>.<br />
<br />
And, yeah, using jingoism to get a wedge in against homophobia seems like robbing Peter to pay Paul, but at least jingoism has less effect domestically because the people afflicted with that aren't likely to be huge into international relations any way.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13879417090398776642noreply@blogger.com0