Religion: Explaining Away Earthquakes
Six different people representing six different religous views were all gathered together to share their reasons why the earthquake (and subsequent tsunami) happened.
Apparently, God loves everything and everyone just enough to kill off 160,000 people so others will have a chance to prove how godly they are. That seemed to be the consensus among the attendees to this little theological round table, except for Deepak Chopra who believes that the people in the afflicted countries brought the tsunami on themselves because they are all masochists, and the Buddhist who thought the victims had to learn to let go of the connections to their vast amount of worldly possessions. So it serves them right.
So where was the geologist? Where the heck was the person who could explain plate tectonics to these boneheads? We already know why earthquakes happen, kids. I live in the "Ring of Fire" that's all around the Pacific Ocean: a lively spot geologically speaking, and a big quake is almost certain to hit this area in the next 100 years. Know what? It won't be Gods fault when it does. It won't be a test of faith, or evidence that other people are morally superior, or divine spite. It will be because of pressures in the Earth building to a breaking point, then breaking. That's earthquakes for you. And I won't be looking skyward crying "Why, God? Why?" for the simple reason that I'm not religous.
Religions are for people too scared to say "I don't know."