July 12, 2005

Sex: So Here's a Question...

...What would you do for your partner? Sexually speaking, that is: no suicide - death pacts allowed.

I was pondering this after wrapping my Significant Other in cling wrap the other night. Doing this simply would not have occured to me on my own. I knew the practice existed, sure, but it didn't interest me enough to try it for myself; then she mentioned it, so I brought a box of Resinite home from work and made myself a "fuck sausage" of her. One ice cube and a couple of other items later, I cut her free (an interesting event in itself) and evaluated. Lots of fun, but then sex with her always is. It was a pleasant change, but I doubt it will become part of our regular diet.

That's the point though, isn't it?

When you know a large variety of things to do, the only thing you can become bored with is each other (in which case you've got a problem to solve RIGHT NOW). The primary drive to have sex is for the closeness I feel for my wife, and the pleasure I get from causing her to scrunch her eyes closed and make funny noises. The physical sensation is always nice too, of course; but that's more a teenagers reason for sex than an adults. So I got to thinking about what I've asked other partners of mine to to for me, and what I've had asked of me, and what I've done (or haven't) and why.

Oh, and those folks for whom the thought of gay sex is "icky", there is nothing repeat nothing that gay people can do to each other that straight folks can't. For instance, I've had a woman ask to use a strap-on on me. At the time, I refused because I had no interest in the physical sensation, and that was my main objective of getting laid. But if it were my wife asking me, and explaining that it was the one thing that turned her on beyond any other sexual act, I would try it. If it made her feel that good, why not? The difference, as you could guess, is what level of commitment I have with the other person. It was way easier to accept doing cunnilingus as a "favour", because that's one of a few of my favorite things anyways.

Bragging point - I got one young woman to quit smoking because it made her taste worse. I'm having that put on my tombstone.

The point being that it's not really a test of a relationship in that case. I've ended up not staying with one woman because she wasn't as sexually adventurous as I was. Maybe later she would have become more so, but at the time? Nope. So I left.

That sounds bad, doesn't it? But that's what I wanted. I can't really say I've regretted any past decisions, given how much I'm enjoying life now, but there is the occasional "what if" that I play with regarding past relationships. How much of a difference did sex play then as compared to now? Would I have been a happily corrupting influence, a sexual Walter Mitty, or an employer of prostitutes?

As with everything else, I suppose - how far you're willing to go depends on where you are.
posted by Thursday at 5:22 pm


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