May 13, 2006

Other: Weemie!

Day 14 – Dallick and Dunkeld and Birnam and Weem
“Honey, are you feeling okay?”
There are certain phrases you want your Significant Other to say. “Would you like a blowjob”, for instance, has long been one of my personal favourites. This, however, was nowhere near the list.
“Well, my ears are a little hot…”
“No… you’ve got spots.” (Also not on the list, by the way.) Ends up I got a case of hives, or something much like them, while eating dinner. I took an antihistamine right away and they faded out after about five minutes, but still a very strange experience for someone with no known food allergies. No blood, no foul.
Drove two knitters to Dunkeld, then to Castle Menzies in the town of Weem. Yes, Weem. You have no idea how much I wanted a postcard from Weem: “Come to Weem, stay for the Castle!”
In any case, that was the plan.
We went to Dunkeld first to do a bit of sightseeing of the cathedral, then split up to buy souvenirs: we decided to meet at a corner store, then went our separate ways. I found a groovy little pottery store called “Going Pottie” where I could paint something special for a very groovy person we and love, so I decided to try my hand at it. Knowing I’m an indifferent artist at best, I knew it would take a while, so I went looking for my two charges. Now, you’d think it would be impossible to miss someone in a town that consists of a crossroads, but we did, so I went to the store and asked the woman behind the counter that if she saw two American women loitering about, could she send them to the pottery shop just down the street, please? Thank you very much.
I don’t know if I should blame the Scottish vernacular or humour, but they waited very patiently for me for about half an hour – outside the public toilets. We missed seeing the castle by about ten minutes.
Put some petrol in the car – thirty pounds added just over thirty litres, which translates to roughly $2/l Canadian or $7.80/Gallon USD. Why doesn’t everybody over here have motorcycles again?
Got back to home base, and was handed two aerosol cans to hide: it seems someone had used over a can and a half in one of the toilets over the course of four days. Issues, anyone?
But the day was not a complete loss, as the assistant at the pottery store is going to work in Calgary next month, and hopes to visit the West Coast in September. Her name’s Hannah, and she has lovely eyes.
Am I a bad man?

Day 15 – Dallick and Weem
Right: I’m going to Weem with two women today, a mother and her daughter. Now if you didn’t know that was a town and not a verb, what would you have thought?
I went for personal reasons, too: we have no beer in the house, and the SO and I miss it. Unibrew, specifically; but any port (or ale) in a storm. There’s whisky, sure, but no actual beer. Between that, not having my dog, and the missing folks at work and at home I was a little homesick for the first time last night.
Made it to Castle Menzies, which isn’t a castle in the usual sense: it’s in the transition period between full-blown castles and fortified mansions. No way would it stand up to the battering of cannon fire, but raiders would be hard pressed to take it, as all five floors and its towers are riddled with gun holes for defence. There’s even a garrison and armoury on the ground floor.
It’s yet another place where Bonnie Prince Charlie stayed – Scotland’s version of “Washington slept here” in the States of “MacDonald drank this” in Canada. The direct owners died out, and the Clan took over its maintenance and restoration; it’s slow going, but they’re doing a fine job of it, and it’s worth checking out if you can.
Encountered a contender for Most Uselessly Self-Descriptive Packaging Ever: “Whitworth’s Granulated Naturally Sweet Sugar.” As compared to the Unnaturally Sweet variety, I suppose. Or possibly the Sweetness Man Was Not Meant To Know.

Cthulhu! Cthulhu! Bring your unnatural sweetness to us!


posted by Thursday at 8:59 am


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