December 08, 2005

Politics: They've Got (Christmas) Balls!

This little time into the campaign, and yet somehow it's more than enough time for politicos to open wide and say "mpgffgh".

Hey, you try talking past a couple size nines!

Since RevMod is doing just fine on the gaffes front, I'm going to dish on the riskiest moves by the various folks involved here in the Sillier Season:

House of Orange: The 80's Porn Star could have been called (and has been) on his back-and-forth on tossing (2004) or keeping (2005) the Clarity Act, but that wasn't so risky as the thought that the Clarity Act could be repealed caused a wee bit of a firestorm. So I'm going with his speech in Quebec on Tuesday. That in itself is no big deal, the guy's from Quebec: it's more what he said. Like a home retrofit plan to upgrade many of the country's houses (which is actually pretty cool), as well as a "tough, new" Poluter Pay act, Clean Water Act, Clean Air Act, and reducing greenhouse gasses by 25% by 2020. Asked to go into detail about the last, he replied "We don't have all the details worked out yet." That takes balls.

Nobody Understands Us Party: Spooky is letting the company of Gloat, Chortle and Hubris run his campaign so far, to apparently little effect. It's early on yet, but constant talk of not only having his own army, but also his own espionage branch and a seperate team from Quebec entering international competitions is going to be tough to beat. Unless you count telling everyone that "A vote for the Bloc is a vote for seperation!" This, coming from a man who wouldn't be the new leader of the new countrified Quebec - that would be one of these folks. Ballsy.

Team Blue: Plastic Man (God, doesn't that guy ever look comfortable?) announced a cut to the GST, from 7% to 5%, even though it wouln't actualyl happen for another five years even if they get a majority government. Whether the cut is going to be a simple chop or a return of the hidden taxes that the GST replaced, he didn't say. One place that this could certainly bite him in the ass is in Quebec, where the GST is taxed provincially: that's right, there is a provincial tax on the federal tax! A cut on the GST would therefore lower provincial revenues, and it won't take much for the Parti Quebecois to start the cry of "Won't Get Screwed Again!" He may not have known about the tax situation in Quebec, but if he did, that's heavy, steel balls he's got.

Perpetual Party: Harper was going to win this, right up until Mr. Dithers brought out the, uh, little guns. Promising a ban on handguns, while I'm personally fine with it, is going to bring up one big, ugly image from the recent past: Gun Registry Monolith, anyone? The registry has been not just an ablatross around the Liberal's collective neck: it's been a bloated, festering, reeking weight that isn't getting covered up, no matter what potpourri they try. Martin's not just whistling past the graveyard after midnight, he's deliberately opening a day care next to a dingo farm. And for this, I'm saying that as of December 8th, the PM's got the biggest balls of them all.


posted by Thursday at 9:32 pm


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