July 12, 2006

Other: Work as Sit-Com

Well, that was an unfun little couple of days - last month, the mom-in-law told us she was moving from Vancouver to Victoria. Right now. So two weeks ago, I moved her, and this week the Significant Other and I were over giving the place a once-over (lovely woman, no idea how to clean) and a new coat of paint. I hate driving in Vancouver: no idea if the people there actually become stupider when behind the wheel or just sociopathically indifferent, but there's no joy to be had. Victoria has a worse layout for driving in, but Vancouver has her beat in Wandering Nutbags.

On the plus side, I made a couple of personal discoveries. I found out, for instance, that if I don't trim my beard every few days, I'll be asked if I'm religious. I'm really not sure what the appropriate response is when I'm told I "have a very muslim beard". The funny thing is, I've also been told I look jewish, so I'm thinking it's the beholder reather than the beheld. What the hell, let's call that a word.

Got back home after springing the dog out of hock, and found out he snapped his dew claw, so I had to get him in to the vet for a rather horrible session of pinning my rottie cross down while someone else hacks at a piece of him. It was broken above the quick, so the vet had to slice through some flesh. Lovely.

Then off to get the SO, who stayed an extra day in Vancouver. I got to come back the day before so I could attend my "acting on film" class. I've done a fair amount of theatre, but all the varieties of film are so radically different that I figure it's best to have a clue before I try for an audition.

Funny thing is, I always thought of my last job (bakery dish-pig) as a television situation comedy anyways. Just look at the cast:

The Boss: Early 40s woman; single mom; whip thin and highly stressed, she's always lacking sleep, as she's also one of the bakers. Currently in an on-again/off-again gay relationship.

Boss' Daughter: Tall, slender; model looks; been dating one guy (who mom doesn't approve of) for the past three years; shy, which is easily mistaken for coldness.

Barrista #1: 18 year old girl; blonde and pixie cute; enthusiastic, fun and smart, if a little sarcastic at times.

Barrista #2: 40s woman; aging hippie/Aquarian; only cleans things with baking soda, including floors, dishes and herself.

Barrista #3: Late 20s guy; musician - what else do you have to say? He's in the band.

Cook #1: 18 year old girl; very athletic (national level); wants to join the military; a virgin, but also probably gay.

Cook #2: Eco-warrior; has lived on a commune; knows how to build (and has built) cob homes; has geology degree, then realised the only work she could get was for mining companies and became a baker instead.

Baker: Ultra-competent, and frankly a little intimidating; loud, lusty, and utterly unafraid. Plus, she's married to the dish-pig!

Dessert Baker: Mother of three; knowledge geek; has the astounding ability to end every shift spotless, and no one knows how; of chinese-jewish descent, she'd be "the exotic one", right up until she speaks: she is so Canadian.

Cookie Baker: Single mom, and still a party girl.

Dish Pig: The guy people look at and think "Isn't he a little old for that job?" You have to wonder why he's otherwise unemployable - no one would choose to wash dishes for a living, would they?

Actually, the answer to the last bit is simple: count the ratio of women to men there, and add to that the hiring policy of the bakery apparently includes the phrase: "Must have a great ass". It really improves my working atmosphere, and that's more important to me than money, although the pay was fine.

Plus, it means I have a great ass.


posted by Thursday at 7:47 pm


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