Out of the Closet, and Into God's Arms!

So, I've been thinking about the latest little dust-up among religious conservatives down south regarding Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter and her wife (they've been together 15 years) deciding to have a child. Mary Cheney's now pregnant, and there's considerable dismay among the more extreme camps of wingnuts:

For instance, this from Janice Crouse of Concerned Women for America (CoW of America?)

"It's very disappointing that a celebrity couple like this would deliberately bring into the world a child that will never have a father. They are encouraging people who don't have the advantages they have."

So while Ms. Crouse knows that the couple live in arguably the worst state in America to be gay, she also acknowledges that they are rich and connected enough to avoid some of the hardships that other, lesser gay couples face.

Then there's this gem from Carrie Gordon Earll from Focus on the Family, whose family is apparently old enough that they got their name when spelling was still optional:

"Just because you can conceive a child outside a one-woman, one-man marriage doesn't mean it's a good idea. Love can't replace a mother and a father."

Trust me, mate: it's frequently enough not a good idea within a one-woman, one-man marriage. Of course, that a mother and father can't replace love doesn't seem to enter into her thinking...

Anyhow, with this new twitch to go along with the others that have shown up lately among the religious, I've considered just what it is about God that makes people a little... you know... "funny that way". (Note: this link is to a video that gets a little tough to stomach.)

So I considered the personality not just of this God of theirs, but also the people who follow that God. What drives the two together?

Well, according to the bible, you have to worship God, and only God. Plus, he demands total subservience: He can do horrible, horrible things to you, but you can't ever question him.

He's not only a father figure, he's THE father figure: Jesus, from the KJV says, "I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and [to] my God, and your God." And of course every image of the guy is of a dominating, older, bearded gent.

Now, for the folks who worship him.

An odd lot, this; but most notable among them is the insitence that they uttlerly surrender to god, yielding themselves "body and soul" to him. Once they have, he takes care of them; he gives them purpose; he provides all the answers to everything, leaving them free to stop thinking and doing... um... whatever else it is they want to do instead. Which they couldn't do without God, or so they insist.

Which leads me to believe that God is a bear. No, a different kind of bear.

I'll explain:

In the worshipper, there is an essential desire to be dominated utterly, to be told what to do in every aspect of their lives. They look with longing at their older, hairy, intensely masculine hero.

Which is why I'm pretty sure that according to his followers, God is a bear.