January 14, 2006

Other: Get Indebted Now!

So there's this commercial running around right now (and has been for a while) from a certain group calling itself the "Get Acceptance Corporation". Apparently, these fine folks will provide you with buckets of cash whenever you want; and all they want is your home. Well, your house, anyways. Who calls it a home anymore? So old fashioned, that.

Anyhow.

A big part of their attraction is that it does't matter how far in debt you are, what kind of job you have, or even if you have a job - they still want your house! Er, I mean they still want to lend you money! They're generous that way. And boy, do they love their quotation marks! Especially around the word "equity", because they know that's a scary word, and simple folk like you shouldn't have to be exposed to nasty "technical" "jargon" like that without being protected.

Because they like your house. You! They like you, not just your house, really; c'mon, baby, don't be like that...

Now, with my meagre understanding of western religion, usury was either expressly forbidden or at the very least condemned as a sin (except, interestingly, for Jews). There has been plenty of banter about what the definition of usury actually is over the last three centuries, but for the most part it's accepted as the wealthy taking advantage of the indebted and making a profit from that advantage (except, interestingly, for Republicans).

Can we say "consolidation loan", boys and girls? I knew you could.

Of course, they do propose to charge a reasonable 5.75%, which is fascinating as none of the disclosure examples they give show this amount. In fact, the lowest amount they show is 10.33%. Can't see it? It's under the big yellow boxes beside the bit reading AER, which takes into account the cost of arranging the loan, a total of (for example) about $55,000 if you borrow $100,000 from them. But they're just here to help you in your time of trouble; just ask them.

Of course, if you don't actually have a job or any other form of income, it doesn't really matter what the interest charges on your home equity loan are, does it?

Because soon enough, it won't be yours anymore.

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posted by Thursday at 1:46 pm

2 Comments:

Blogger Gazetteer said...

You mean my house just might be the House of the Sacred Bleeding Heart of Sally Field's Usary?

10:09 pm  
Blogger Thursday said...

Hey hey HEY!

I won't have that kind of talk on my blog, mister! You just keep Sally Field's Bleeding -

Wait, did you say Usary? Sorry, Gaz; I was obviously thinking of something else.

Carry on, nothing to see here.

1:51 am  

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