April 15, 2006

Religion: Clearing Up Easter

This is a weekend that has always confused me. Why, for instance, fould you schedule Friday and Monday off, but work on Saturday? Not smart.

The random seeming amalgam of symbols has been a bit of a puzzle, too, but after careful consideration, I think I've finally "got it":


On Good Friday, the Son of God gets nailed up to a cross by lots of marauding, irreligious chickens (Roman ones). A little later, he's pulled down by a giant hare and stuck in a cave, which it probably thought was it's warren or something. Realising its mistake, the hare abandons the cave; but since it was a nice cave and the hare doesn't want any super weasels moving in, it rolls a huge boulder across the mouth, sealing the cave shut.

In the meantime, some Wandering Jews happen by, looking for their Theoretical Messiah, but they pass right over the boulder, not giving it a second glance. "That boulder's huge," they think to themselves, "no way would one dead guy be able to roll that sucker on his own! That would take, like, a giant rabbit. Or maybe a super weasel."

Three days later, the Son of God (formerly known as Dead) pushes the boulder aside with a mighty heave, and emerges to wreak his terrible vengance upon chickenkind forever more.


Granted, this is just a hypothesis based on conflicting interpretations, but I think it holds together: there's a bunny hiding things, a wide ranging hunt for eggs, and Jews calling this time Passover. And, as we all know, going "down the rabbit hole" is a famous metaphor for things getting psychedelic, as taken from Alice in Wonderland; hence the odd colours the eggs happen to be.

Well it makes sense to me!


posted by Thursday at 12:30 am


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