July 07, 2008

Generalized Stupid

If you've somehow noticed a certain something political going on in America of late, you're not alone. The general election is several months away, yet some people are already talking about it.

Well, if you haven't noticed, you may not want to look: there's another four weeks of this sort of stupid...

"Everyone has a right to breathe clean air. This is a really bad idea for the Obama campaign. If everyone starts to enforce his right to breathe clean air in the presence of swarthy young Muslims, Obama might lose an important part of his electoral base."

In what possible world this is considered acceptable, I just don't know. The target audience for this piece is... what, exactly? Someone who thinks: Obama is a Muslim; that Muslims stink; and that wanting breathable air is a bad thing. If the phrase "swarthy young Muslims" makes them feel scared/sweatily aroused, so much the better.

But wait! There's more!

How about everybody (and whining) noticing that John Edwards is rich, but for some reason ignoring that fact when is comes to McCain? Sure, you've heard about his divorcing his model-wife (after her car crash and recovery) to marry his multi-millionaire wife, but why is it that no one bothered to notice that the big difference between Obama's tax plan and McCain's is that McCain would save himself over $350,000 per year with his plan, and only about $5500 under Obama's. Obama himself would save $50,000 if McCain's plan went through, but only $6000 under his own.

But it's okay, as McCain will save all the money from that went into the Iraq war for the deficit - starting just as soon as they've won it:

"The McCain administration would reserve all savings from victory in the Iraq and Afghanistan operations in the fight against Islamic extremists for reducing the deficit. Since all their costs were financed with deficit spending, all their savings must go to deficit reduction."

And speaking of McCain's future, how about that potential Vice-Presidential pick, Governor Bobby Jindal? You know, the fellow who signed into law the Louisiana Science Education Act, allowing school boards to add "supplemental materials" of their own choosing when science classes discuss evolution, cloning, and global warming.

Gosh, I wonder why those subjects?


But going from the ridiculous to the sublime, we find the return of the Federal Marriage Amendment - this time, introduced by ten senators (with the intention of banning any chance for gay marriage, yes again) who have some interesting company: David Vitter, of diaper-wearing-while-visiting-prostitutes fame, and Larry Craig, He of the Wide Stance in Toilet Stalls.

All told, a fine representation of the Sancitity of Marriage, no?


But my favorite new fit of stupid is the government's interest in eliminating what's left of air travel in the United States:

"A senior government official with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has expressed great interest in a so-called safety bracelet that would serve as a stun device, similar to that of a police Taser®. According to this promotional video found at the Lamperd Less Lethal website, the bracelet would be worn by all airline passengers."

Yup, you read that right: passengers would have to wear a bracelet that could give them an electric shock, "completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes".

This is arguably the stupidest idea in the "War Against Terra(tm)" since randomly intimidating bank customers. And it will likely be just as effective.


posted by Thursday at 7:48 pm


Post a Comment

<< Home