October 12, 2010

An Unexpected Relief

Funny story.

I've been working with a new show: a musical, of all things. Not really my thing, but it'll be fun, and I've never been in a pantomime before, so why not? I believe I've mentioned that I'm musically declined before? Looks like I'm "singing" ABBA in this one.

In any case, I found myself working with a slew of new people of pretty much every age and shape, two of which are quite attractive. So naturally I've been chatting regularly with one or the other when time has allowed. Over the days, I noticed they arrived in different vehicles, but the kids they brought with them seemed interchangeable. Then I caught that they lived in the same house, and was brought up cold.

Were they mother and daughter? Was the eldest girl still (or back to) living at home, and driving her own car so they can pick up other kids on the way to rehearsals?


Granted, I'm lousy at judging ages, but looking again, I supposed it was possible for one to be in her mid-thirties and the other to be... No, no no no no no! Nooooooo... There was no way I was attracted to a 17- or 18- year old! That's literally less than half my age! I've got a certain self-image, as we all do, and mine doesn't include the Dirty Old Man:

This isn't what I am turning into, is it? The caricature can stay just that, thanks: a nicely self-contained joke; a piece of cultural shorthand for sad old perverts forever chasing brainless young hotties around a desk or using their canes to lift up the skirts of girls in the park.

Sure, I'm a sad old pervert: that I can accept. Hell, I accepted that when I hit 30. But why on Earth would I suddenly be macking on kids decades younger than me? Was I hoping to recapture my youth by fucking some? AAAHHH!!!

Luckily, my concern only lasted for a day when I read their bios: they were married, and to each other, at that. So, sure, my chances with either are pretty much shot, but my self-image has been restored. I am not suddenly having my head turned by a wildly inappropriate teenager after all! And as an added bonus, I got to say a line I never thought I would:

"Oh, thank God you're married!"

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posted by Thursday at 10:47 pm


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