August 25, 2006

Other: The Cola

In honour of Coca-Cola's new drink and the mispronounciation it provides (not to mention the truly excessive website), I offer this poem:

The Can

Coca-Cola! in a can
What the hell you thinkin', man?
What a stupid ad campaign
Could anything be this inane?

In what fluorescent board room hence
(With no sign of intelligence)
Was the bizarre decision made
To punctuate using long "a"?

There are rules here, don't you see?
You can't add symbols randomly!
English is a complex tounge
I understand when it goes wrong.

But it does not make any sense
To try and sell your ignorance!
Misspelling words for coolness' sake
Just brings to mind another "Blake".

Getting things wrong just to look hip
To those of us who know, means zip.
I tried it once, a little drink,
And poured the rest straight down the sink.

Coca-Cola! in a can
What the hell you thinkin', man?
Just take this off the shelves, good Lord!
And go back to the drawing board.


A blatant rip-off of William Blake's The Tyger, of course. If you have a problem with my rhyming, take it up with the fellow who put "hand or eye" and "symmetry" in a couplet.

But then, I don't talk to angels, so what do I know?


posted by Thursday at 9:58 am


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