Other: The Use of Superstores

Quite some time ago, back when I made my money by apperaing in a glass box surrounded by a dozen tiny spotlights and people gave me money "for services rendered", I become utterly enamoured of a young woman named Huyen Pham, who worked across from me. In a chocolate shop, yet, so it may have been simple proximity. But whatever the reason, I was smit. It didn't work out for the simple reason that I was an utter geek, as compared so simply being the gekk I currently am. Plus, as she said:

"Erin! But... you're white!"

I thanked her for the observation, and wondered if my parents had noticed. In any case, we continued to talk to each other, and one of the comments she made was that the fruits in the West had very little flavour. So I've tried a variety of foods from the East, and encountered the odd nature of mangoes: women are far, far more likely to love mangoes with a sheer, blind passion that borders on (and occasionally crosses) the obscene. Guys, on the other hand, usually shrug and say "they're okay". Go ahead, ask among your friends - you'll get the same results. Occasionaly, a woman will shrug and say "they're okay"; but then they'll say "But if they're really fresh..." and then you'd best have a towel ready.

Where the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks is this going? Well, I don't live in a place that has a very large Coastal Eastern community in its small population. We're about half white, maybe a fifth native, another fifth East Indian and a few Japanese and others. So while there is a variety of foods here, there are no real specialty stores here like you might find in a larger city.

Enter the superstores.

Personally, I hate superstores. They give me a headache after about five minutes, so I have to keep distracting myself if the Signifigant Other has decided to drag me along. And I encountered a pop can with cyrillic writing on it. I looked a bit closer and found kanji, arabic and roman lettering on it as well. Then I looked a bit farther away, and saw it was advertising "Melon Milk". The shelf this delightful can was sitting on was covered with drinks I had never heard of, or even imagined. I immediately bought a half dozen, brought them home to chill in the fridge over night, and have drunk one a day since. Here, from most familliar to least, is how they tasted...

Chin Chin Mixed Fruits Juice Drink
Ingredients: Water, pineapple, orange, banana, guava, apple, peach, passion fruit, sugar.
Taste: Sweeter than I like, but otherwise pretty much what you'd expect. I'm surprised to be able to taste the banana, as that's a very light flavoured juice.
Oddest Detail: According to the nutrition label, the Serving Size the label is based on is for 240ml, or about two thirds of the 340ml can. Wha?

Six Fortune Mandarin Juice Drink with Pulp and Juice
Ingredients: Water, mandarin orange pulp, concentrated orance juice, sugar, natural flavour, citric acid, ascorbic acid.
Taste: Again very sweet, but not too unpleasant. If you've ever bought mandarins on Christmas, you know what this tastes like. Only sugared.
Oddest Detail: The insistence that what's in this can is liquid. This juice drink is with juice? Oh, thank god!

Pokka Mango Drink
Ingredients: Water, sugar, mango juice, citric acid, vitamin C, natural flavouring.
Taste: Sugar is the second item on the label - noticing a theme here?
Oddest Detail: When you have to add vitamin C to your mango juice, you know there's damn little mango included...

Pokka Melon Milk
Ingredients: Water, milk, sugar, melon juice, stabiliser (E491, E473, E339), flavouring, permitted colouring (E-102, E-133).
Taste: Quite nice, actually. Brush your teeth afterwards, though. I can't quite identify the melon pictured, though it seems to be a white-fleshed cantaloupe. No guarantee that's what's in the can, though, which is only described as "melon".
Oddest Detail: "Permitted colouring"?

Pokka Pulpy C Lychee Drink with Jelly and Juice
Ingredients: Water, suger, lychee juice. gelling agent (sodium alginate), citric acid, ascorbic acid, calcium phosphate, flavouring.
Taste: Bland, mostly. The shock comes at the end when lumps of jelly start dropping into your mouth. Yugh.
Oddest Detail: Have I mentioned the lumps of jelly yet?

Chin Chin Grass Jelly Drink
Ingredients: Water, grass jelly, cane sugar, corn starch, fructose, honey.
Taste: Surprisingly good. Despite three sweeteners among six ingredients, not too sweet. Actually tastes like grass, or at least like damp grass smells after it's been cut, and I like that.
Oddest Detail: The picture on it looks for al the world like a glass dessert dish of flat cola with translucent Jello cubed very small and a straw. Which I suppose it is, in a way. Still gag on the lumps of jelly at the end of the drink - but then, I'm a food texture freak, and I hate eating squishy food like jellies or traditional puddings. So that's just me.

All told, I think I'll stick to the drinks I know for now, but some variety never hurts. Go ahead, see what the odd little corners of your local store hold, and give them a try - with a strainer.

P.S.: Australia played better than the Italians - bugger about overtime.

Other: Triangulating the Circle

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table

It's that time again!

There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate

The Skeptics' Circle is upon us, with some fine links and better reading. It's a little mercury heavy *ahem*, but even if that's not your debate, the reasoning within the debate is well worth following. There's even a post about some of the logical short-circuits used in debates, as well as a post on motorcycle helmet safety - a subject near and dear to my heart.

Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

My Bad

Gone for twelve days, the number of people reading this stuff actually goes up... I always thought I was doing something wrong - nice to have confirmation!

Where to begin? How about least personally relevant to most:


Religion

I know there is some kerfuffle about a computer game coming out soon called Left Behind: Eternal Forces, but frankly I don't get much of a rise out of it. Yes, it's being sponsored (or was, anyways) by the same fellow who mass-marketed "The Purpose Driven Life" through churches, and that it might indoctrinate young, impressionable minds that the correct response to the Rapture is to blow away the evil forces of the UN (the source of all evil), but hey, isn't that what they're going to learn in school anyways? The best part about the game is that the same young, impressionable can switch sides!

"Dude! I am totally the Anti-Christ!"
"Dude!"

Can't really see much of a difference between it and any other video game. Sober up, folks: pixles ain't people, and running over one in your car has about the same effect as giving it a wubby. Okay?

Oh, and if you need a primer on various bits of the bible? May I suggest LEGO(tm) or some reasonably approximate equivalent?

And, the most important book - sorry - BOOK in the History of Mankind is finally here! Read it! Love it! Buy it if you can! Be touched by His noodly appendage!


Science

Here we go: Human Papillomavirus is the most common sexually teansmitted disease around the world - it frequently causes cervical cancer, which is fatal in any country that doesn't have advanced screening. There are very few outward signs of the cancer, so the impetus to get tested doesn't happen, so the cancer is far more advanced than is treatable... It's the same reason why pancreatic cancer is so deadly. Anyhow, the Food and Drug Administration has approved a new vaccine for use in the United States. The "problem" is that is has to be administered before the person is sexually active, so it's already facing massive opposition from, well, the usual suspects:

"Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be potentially harmful, because they may see it as a licence to engage in premarital sex." - Bridget Maher, Family Research Council.

*sigh*

And seat belts should be banned because drivers may see it as a licence to drive at 220 km/h through school zones.

Hey, lady! This disease kills over 200,000 women a year! If you really fear your child may become promiscuous because of a shot, here's an idea: try talking to her about sex. If that fails, how about vaccinating men? They are, after all, carriers; and it's not like you've said a damned thing about your young sons having sex before marriage, right?


Politics

Lighter stuff up front: Down South, U.S. President George W. Bush has decided to create a huge oceanic reserve in Hawii as a National Monument (he's a president, he's allowed to do that). Now, why would it suddenly occur to him do do something right for a change? A couple of reasons, and they're both movies. Apparently the son of Jacques Cousteau screened a movie of the area for the president while visiting the White House, and Bush was so moved that he initiated the policy to preserve it. So that's what it takes, eh? Actually, I'm thinking it was another movie that got George suddenly interested in ecology... It all depends on what the act will be called to name this reserve. If he calls it something like "The Double-Plus Wonderful Happy Fish Place", we know it's screwed. (See also: No Child Left Behind, Clear Skies, Healthy Forests, ets.)

Closer to home, there is a reason why bad news is coming out of Afghanistan of late, and that's because the allies are going on the offensive. It makes for rougher stories, but it's a step in the right direction. My opinion, of course, but it's difficult to really find redeeming qualities of the Taliban once you get past "Well, they beat the Russians!" But there is good news in how a gentler approach is absolutely necessary in a foreign land.


Sex

Okay, I've wanted to mention this for a while now: the Pussycat Dolls are several reasonably attractive young women who have a song called "Don't Cha". Now, if you've seen any of their videos, or the videos of any of several other pop tart groups running around, you've probably discovered the same thing I have: the Burger King Fallacy, pointed out to me by a gentleman long unremembered at this point.

Here's how it goes: you see a commercial for a Burger King burger. All the ingredients are there for a burger exactly as you'd make it at home, they cook it on an opne flame just like you would, and you know that what you're looking at should, theoretically, be very appitising and attractive to you. And somehow it just ain't.

Point being they can move about quite nicely in a choreographed manner, but there just isn't that much that's very interesting about them, and (here's a warning for those aspiring musicians out there in the viewing audience) if you're going to have a song that includes the line:

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me"

in it's chorus, be ready for the question. A freak like you? Really? So, that means you'd be okay with being chained to my bed, partially wrapped in cellophane, havnig a woman fuck your ass with a strap-on while I'm pushing my cock through the o-ring gag in your mouth? Really?

Oh.

So, not THAT freaky, then. Sorry.


Motorcycles

Good days and bad. Clover's back on the road, meaning I am too. Damn, it's nice to be back on the proper number of wheels again! Hopefully soon, I'll be trying it three-wheeled, once the sidecar is hooked up to my Honda. Found rust in it's brake lines, though (the seal on the fluid reservoirwas ruptured) , so I'm getting in a new front brake set before that happens.

On the down side, there was an accident down at the sand drags and a long time photographer Gerald MacNutt (from my old home town) was, to put it bluntly, torn in half when a nitro-powered bike went out of control and hit him. He had been the unofficial photographer of the sand drags for years, and had a habit of getting shots from on the track, believing he could "jump out of the way" if anyone was headed for him. The bike ran a track-record time of 3.46 seconds - it takes a second to even see what direction the bike's going in, another (if you're practiced) to recognise that it's possibly out of control, and then... what? The tires of a drag bike are built for traction, and they tear up the ground passing beneath.

RIP to my dad's old friend, Gerald MacNutt.


Hockey

What can I say? A couple of brilliant games in the final (games 1 and 5), a couple of good ones (3,4 and 7) and a couple of, well, weaker ones made for a good series over all. Congratulations to the Hurricanes and let's do it all again next year! Let's hand out some other hardware:

Calder trophy: Ovechkin (107 points, more than his next two team mates combined), though Crosby made a huge run late in the season (37 points in the last 23 games) to challenge. He may be better three years than now, but this year it's Ovechkin. Shame there's only one rookie award to hand out, because Phaneuf was well worth noticing (third highest goals by a rookie D ever) as was Lundquist (30 wins and .922 save percentage on a team not noted for it's defence).

Hart: Always the toughest to pick, this time it goes to Thornton for the huge, huge boost he gave San Jose when he arrived in town. More assists (96) than all but eight players had points, the Sharks went from eight points out of the playoffs before he arrived to finish with fifth seed. I expected Cheechoo to be better, but I did NOT expect a doubling of his goals! And Marleau finally got the room he needed to be as dangerous as we always knew he should have been (playing the point on the power play helped, too).

Vezina: While Vokun was a big reason for Nashville's (and the Czech Republic's) success last year, without Kiprusoff, the Flames were dead on the ice. With 72 starts, it was the first time he's been relied on as a starter in the NHL and he came through beautifully with a .923 save percentage and 10 shutouts. What is it with Finnish goaltending lately? Another one is going to be drafted in the first round this season (Riku Helenius).

Norris: This is, for now, the Niklas Lidstrom Award. He averaged over 28 minutes per game, led all denfenceman in points and had a +21 average. As big a fan of Niedermeyer as I am, his numbers just don't measure up. Call up Brad Park if you want condolences: he played the same years Bobby Orr did...

Selke: An award that might come back into fashion, now that there is more pressure on teams to play an up-tempo style. Brind'Amour is one of the best face-off men in the league, plus he got 31 goals playing a second line, plus I'm still pissed about his not being on Team Canada in the Olympics this year.

Kiss of Death Award (AKA the Adams): Ruff is a perpetual nominee with the Sabres, Renny could get Jagr to play as if he were interested again, and Laviolette took the tools given him all the way to the Stanley Cup. Even if the playoffs are excluded (as they are supposed to be), the Hurricanes finished the season one point back of the powerhouse Senators, and I don't recall anyone predicting that! Still, I like Ruff's Sabres for the style they play and results they get. Give the trophy to Lindy.


Other

The BC Ministry of Education has finally figured out what to do regarding sex education in schools and how to acknowledge that gays and lesbians are actually part of society: ask them. They now have a married gay couple that serve as unpaid advisors to the provincial curriculum. How obvious was that? This can be filed away under "S" for "Smack to Forhead".


Now I'm going to go learn how to roller blade. I've got to start my mid-life crisis SOME time...

Politics: Dim Bulbs, Big City

Okay, it's been a few days now since the massive arrest (12 adults and 5 juvvies) of terrorist suspects in Toronto. Some of the response has been complimantary:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice:
"This shows that the Canadians are on the job. That's what it really shows."

Some have been, well, not:

New York Republican Peter King, chairman of the House of Representatives homeland security committee:
"I think it's a disproportionate number of al-Qaeda in Canada because of their very liberal immigration laws, because of how political asylum is granted so easily."

There have been intelligent statements:

Toronto police Chief Bill Blair:
"There are always uninformed ignorant idiots who will go out and try to express some anger and misdirect it against totally innocent people, and any anger directed at the wider Muslim community in Toronto would be totally misdirected and based on ignorance."

And silly ones:

Jon Stewart:
"You hate Canada? That's like saying 'I hate toast!' It doesn't inspire passion in either direction!"
(Video "Night, Martyr", 5:30 in.)

Of course, our own beloved Prime Minister Plastic Man has had a few choice words to say about the planned attacks:

Stephen Harper:
"We are a target because of who we are and how we live, our society, our diversity and our values values such as freedom, democracy and the rule of law."

Which carries on his happy use of Republican rhetoric:

President George Bush:
"They hate our freedoms -- our freedom of religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote and assemble and disagree with each other."

Which lets him ignore asking whether our (Canada's) actual actions may have had anything to do with other people's opinions. Right handy, that. There's some mention of anger about Afghanistan, for instance...

One thing that has been strenuously avoided is talking about the fact that the entire group of alleged terrorists can be described as belonging to a single group, a group that has always caused trouble around the world with violence and criminal activity. Muslims? No. Arabs? No. Immigrants? Yeah, right.

No, I'm talking about a group of people who are ignorant, arrogant, agressive and insecure all at the same time; who have been around since time immemorial; and who are, frankly, a pack of idiots: young men.

Think it through: when women have been involved in a killing, it makes big, big news all across Canada. Karla Homolka or Kelly Ellard are remembered names, but even they had young men with them when the crimes were committed. Who joins up with street gangs, commits home invasions, and make videos of themselves putting fireworks directly under their genitals? On a similar note, which group do you think wins the vast, overwhelming majority of Darwin Awards year after year? Only one answer: young men.

Every one of these idiots are under the age of 30, apparently inspired by an imam who preached that Canada's involvement in Afghanistan was an attack on Islam. This, of course, is flat-out idiocy. If there was an attack on Islam, mosques would be illegal. Why the hell would we bother going half way across the globe to attack Islam when we have several Muslims here at home? Have you seen the price of oil these days? Trust me, if the military could save the cost of a flight, they would have!

It wasn't the religion: by the 2001 census, there were well over 550,000 Muslims in Canada, and having only a handful be total nutters is actually a pleasant surprise. It wasn't because they were indoctrinated overseas, as they were either born here or immigrated as young children. And it wasn't the neighbourhood, as information about the group was supplied by members of the community.

So, here's my reasonable proposal: a ban on all males between the ages of 15 and 30. Just ship them out of the country for a decade or two, that's all. Raise money for field trips, encourage OSEs (over seas experiences) like the folks in Australia do, fund them with government grants, whatever it takes. This has the double advantage of having our youth see the world, expanding their horizons, and turning them into someone else's problem, plus making the ratio of women-to-men in Canada skyrocket!

And I'm not just saying this as a dirty old man.


***

I see that someone is proposing a different approach to youthful extremism, even if she does need to adjust her approach. Note to Ms. Siddiqi: when you're asking for help, try using the work "ask" instead of "demand". It's more polite, and politeness tends to go over better.

Other: Skeptical Hordes Among Us

Circle time again!

This time, there's another doctor in the house, and he's letting our unruly mob lounge about his place. We've promised to pay for whatever we break, and to clean up afterward.

Gotta say; I never thought an operating table would be such a great place to play poker!

Politics: Homework

Guess what day it is today, kids?

Here's a hint: a book is being published today, written by perhaps the best investigative journalist working. Want to see how the 2004 U.S. Election was stolen? The full depth of Ken "Kenny-Boy" Lay's financial depravity, complete with a list of potential future cell-mates? The reasons for Terror Alerts and who benifits most from the atmosphere of fear? The future assassination of Hugo Chavez, and the explanation why it had to be done?

Unlike another, ah, person (sort of) who is publishing a book today, you won't see a dagger beside "Armed Madhouse" by Greg Palast.

If you can't afford it, get it in to your local library. In fact, even if you buy it, get it in at your local library anyway. If you can afford it, buy two and give one to the local library. Hand them out on the frikkin' street corner if you have to.

Science: A Medical Immortal

Here Lockyer lies, interr'd enough; his name
speaks one hath few competitors in fame:
A name so great, so Generally may scorne
Inscriptions which doe vulgar tombs adorne;
A dimunition 'tis to write in verse
His eulogies, which most mens mouths Rehearse
His virtues and his PILLS are soe well knowne
that envy can't confine them under stone
But they'll survive his dust and not expire
Till all things else at th' universal fire.
This verse is lost, his PILL enbalms him safe
To future times without an epitath:

Repair'd October 1741

Deceast Aprill (ye) 26th
Anno Do: 1672
Aged 72

This was the epitath of one Lionel Lockyer, a famous doctor operating in London, and can be found inside Southwark Cathedral. Included with this marvellous writing is a life-size, recumbent figure of the good doctor: as he could afford such a memorial, it's obvious his pills sold extremely well! Yes, someone (I suppose the mason) decided to include when the monument was repaired on the memorial itself. Now, Lockyer was a very good salesman, so either he wrote this epitath for his own immortality, or some remaining family member/business partner did to keep the money rolling in.

So, what exactly were his pills? No one really kows, of course, that being a well guarded secret. They were called "Pillulae Radiis Solis Extractae", and were described by a contemporary William Johnson as containing "Vitrum Antimonii", a medicine that made many appearances at the time (1665). Okay, so what the heck does that mean?

Well, antimony is used in medicine nowadays as a compound ingredient for some antiprotozoal agents and emetics (meaning things that kill parasites and/or make you hurl). And "vitrum" means one of two things: either "glass" or "woad". Given that these were pills, I'm more inclined to chose the latter, which may have been used as a more general term to describe the medium that the medicine was given in than the medicine itself (i.e. it probably wasn't actually isatis tinctoria).

Ah, but how did the good doctor describe his pills? He used what many, many quacks, charlatans, and fakes have done in a time honoured tradition: they pretended to know what they were talking about. Look again at the words above, and see if you can figure out what he is selling: Pillulae Radiis Solis Extractae. Looks like latin, and all the big medical types speak latin, so he must be smart and stuff! But wait! You can work out what it is if you try...

Pillulae: knowing he sells pills, that must be what this means. Radiis? We'll get back to that one. Solis too. Extractae is obviously an extract of something. Solis... Sol... Sun? An extract of sun? That's just ridiculous - oh, wait, radiis must mean rays! So it's an extract of the sun's rays, not the sun itself, of course! We can read all about it in his pamphlet An Advertisement Concerning those Most Excellent Pills Called Pilulae Radiis Solis Extractae. Being an Universal Medicine. The point of the advertising, which was much aided by Lockyer, was to leave the impression of the power of the sun's rays being harnessed into these little pills, which would then cure you of everything you could possibly have wrong with you.

I hesitate regarding the accuracy of the translation, but I have my doubts. Solis is the only word that's completely accurate, and the others are questionable at best. But the real selling point of the name of the pills is that, well, it sells. If you, the salesman, can help the customer along with a little explanation of how your medicine works, then they feel just as smart as you while they hand over their money. Even better, since parasites were a common affliction, antimony couldn't have hurt. And since people didn't change their diet or water source, the problems they had came back, encouraging them to buy those pills that made them feel so much better last time...

Let me know if this sounds familiar at all, eh?

Politics: Run Your Own Country, Steve

I've commented before on PM Harper's devotion to US style politics and multiple duplication of Republican sound bites, but this is getting stupid:

Friday, June 2:

Members of Parliament will be asked this fall whether or not they wish to reopen the debate on same-sex marriage, Prime Minister Stephen Harper said Friday.

Saturday, June 3:

The campaign against gay marriage is scheduled to get the full White House treatment on Monday — words from President Bush in front of assembled VIPs and a bank of television cameras.

I know using the Republican sound bites saves a little money in PR, but please! We are still, in theory at least, a seperate nation. I figure our Prime Minister should try acting like it.

Other: Now It All Makes Sense

Now, I know I've mentioned before my affection for the spectacularly mindless Granddaddy First Person Shooter game known as DOOM; hey I'm a big enough fan to have seen the movie when it was still in theatres! And review it! But even I had no idea that this existed, free and on line for all the world to know and love:

Behold, the DOOM Comic.

It makes almost as much sense as the religious Harry Potter spoof, and with better dialogue.

Other: Shirts, Gardens and Comfort Food

Day 28 – London

Kew Gardens is the last thing on the Tourist Agenda, so that’s today. We were going to meet the Significant Other’s aunt and uncle (from the other side) there, but I had a drop off to make at TWO (Two Wheels Only) Magazine first. They’ve got a standing offer of giving a bit of ad space in return for free stuff, so I handed over some t-shirts that the SO and I made as an excuse to get into motorcycle shows early. Problem is, we are both shit at sales (and moved our house), so now we’ve got a couple hundred of the things sitting around and no real inspiration to sell them. A bit of a notice in an international magazine can’t hurt, eh? The magazine is owned by a media conglomerate which owns some television and film production/broadcasting too: beautiful people (video) at the front of the building, ugly folks (print) in the back.

The off to Kew for the day, which is admittedly much more the SOs thing than mine. The relatives were a perfectly pleasant couple who made for great company on a walk around a HUGE garden, and the weather finally remembered it was late May. Fine way to spend our last day in London.

Not looking forward to the 5:15 wakeup tomorrow, but that’s when the cheap commuter flights leave for Glasgow. Never made it to Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, unfortunately: that will just have to wait until next time.

Day 29 – London – Glasgow

Up early, out the same. On the plus side, it means another (almost) full day in Glasgow, instead of a day broken in half by travel. There was a restaurant that had the same last name as the SO, so we ate there for breakfast: a disappointment, alas, but that was bound to be. Her cooking is brilliant, so I think she and her dad sucked up most of the talent for food in her family.

We stayed in a B&B style hotel, so once we dropped off the bags we were wandering the city again. Well, the SO was, anyways. I’ve never been what any sane individual would call a morning person, so I passed out for a nap while she went to a little “lifestyle museum” called the Tenement House that was a block away. Its story is this: a single woman lived there with her aging mother, and when her mother died she inherited rooms. She herself was never bothered to get much in the way of upgrades, as she didn’t entertain and rarely went out. Eventually, she ended up in a hospital with a long lingering illness, but as the taxes kept getting paid on her home, it remained undisturbed for the ten years she lived away from it. When she died, one of the few things mentioned in her will was a set of chairs to be given to a local priest, and when he and his niece came to get them, they saw an apartment that was exactly the same as fifty years previously: and that was in the 1960s. The niece bought it and eventually handed it over to the National Trust. Presto, instant museum!

We ended the day looking for comfort food, a little taste of home: Cantonese. There’s a surprising number of Chinese in Glasgow, and the China Blue Restaurant must have been the result of fierce competition, as the food was absolutely brilliant. The service was not only attentive, but frankly a little oppressive as they tried to stop us from scooping rice into our bowls so they could provide that service. Their English was… limited at best, so at times is was like being surrounded by benevolent, smiling flies at a picnic. One of the waitresses was the most attractive woman I saw during my vacation, which was also very nice, but that opinion may have been influenced by the restaurant having the same name as a porn series. (Also, apparently, an "ultra lifestyle" store. Go fig.) All told, a very pleasant meal.

Politics: Um... What?

Brought to you by the usual band of idiots (and I don't mean MAD Magazine):

New York City has no national monuments or icons, so should have it's Homeland Security funding slashed by 40%.

You remember when the mayor of Washington D.C. Marion Barry got busted for smoking crack? Obviously, he's been handing out samples...