March 02, 2008

Dead Dog Days

As one native comic pointed out recently, there is a humour that is part of the vernacular that the majority of other people don't quite understand unless they live with natives day-to-day. For instance, canoe-bum jokes, or talking about dead dog days.

Dead Dog Day isn't everywhere across Canada (and shouldn't be confused with the very funny radio programme Dead Dog Cafe), but is common enough that most natives have at least heard of it. What happens is this:

Everyone who has a pet dog (or dogs) is told when the day is coming, and to get them indoors for the day. Any other dog seen outside is considered wild and then is shot.

Harsh, yes; but there frequently are no vets within one (or more) day's drive of the reserve, and little money to have their pets spayed or neutered if there were. There are, however, wild dogs, and those cause real problems for the people living there. Some of these dogs become adopted, of course; and when they are, they get looked after and their owners become responsible for their pet's actions. The wild ones are still going t0 be wandering around causing trouble, however, and anyone who feeds them but refuses to be responsible for their actions is considered at best a fool and at worst a sociopath damaging the reserve.

Given this, I think we may have a parallel in the world of politics.

Those folks who are so stupid that they think Barack HUSSEIN Obama is a Muslim Manchurian Candidate, and thus insist that pointing out his middle name (HUSSEIN! HUSSEIN!!!) is vitally important for national defence shall immediately be put up for intellectual adoption. The same can be done for people who immediately associate Hillary Clinton with the testicle-crushing dominatrix of the fevered dreams they never admit to themselves, or who think John McCain is a coward because he thinks torture is wrong or whether he had an affair or not is even important to governing a nation.

These few idiots who do find homes after exhibiting such stupidity are to be considered safe and sound. (This is sheer coincidence, I swear!) But for those unfortunates who are abandoned and left to wander the streets, unloved and unwanted, growling their insanity to closed doors; they will then be known - and removed. No one will mourn their passing, and the reserve will be all the safer for it.


posted by Thursday at 2:23 pm


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