December 31, 2005

Politics: A Fair Election

I do read several divverent blogs, though intermittently, and some are right-wing, despite my own predilictions. Hell, I really enjoy P.J. O'Rourke, and have a few of his books, even if he does make me angry sometimes with what I consider a wrong take of world events. I don't often find someone I disagree with totally, and even more rarely find someone I agree with totally: the ratio just has to be more to the "agree" side than the "disagree" for me to keep reading them. The better the writing, the more they can get away with (see: P. J. O'Rourke, above).

However.

There are some folks who do deserve their own special place for their own special abilities. Over at World O' Crap, there is the list of five finalists for the Wingnut of the Year award, and hoo-BOY is it chock full! Even if you get there too late to vote, it's the first time I've ever encountered Dr. Adams before, and my word the gentleman has... issues... mostly with sex and guns (like that combination is really rare, eh?).

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posted by Thursday at 12:56 pm 0 comments

December 29, 2005

Not Politics: Toronto or Montreal?

Mandos over at Tilting at Windmills has noted someone comparing two of Canada's great cities to each other and finding both a little short, though in very different ways. It brought to mind a little story from my past that is utterly, utterly irrelevant:

I was working in a mall one August, when I saw a mother and her adult son arguing and walking towards me.

"Let's ask this man," she said, "he'll settle it." A chance to play Solomon: cool! She began without introduction: "Who do you think should have won the Stanley Cup this year, Montreal or Toronto?" This was in 1993, the last time Montreal won the Cup, and by the experssions on their faces it looked like that was the son's team.

It was an awkward moment, as I was still young enough to actually be polite to potential customers, which either of these folks might be. I was also brought up to be more polite to women than to men; but then, Montreal had the much despised Patrick Roy... What to do?

Then the words of old neighbour of mine, Paul Minneville, came back to me from 1989, as we watched the fantastic Flames-Canucks series, and the answer became clear to me.

"Well, ma'am," I said, "You're in the West, now..."

"Yes...?" she prompted. The last vestiges of etiquette silently shed themselves.

"We don't particularly care who wins, as long as it stays out of the hands of those Eastern bastards." The son was amused; the mother, not so much.

Go fig.

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posted by Thursday at 11:37 pm 0 comments

December 27, 2005

Science: Making Money the Easy Way, Pt. 1

Not about science specifically, but about how rational thought can save your pocketbook, and perhaps more...

If I were just a little bit more dishonest, I might be a very wealthy man by now. Not a happy man, as my Significant Other wouldn't have married me, but a wealthy one. How so? Let me count the ways:

1) Alternative Healing. The worst (in my opinion) of the scams, it's frequently populated by people who are willing to delude themselves. Psychic surgeons, Theraputic Touch, Crystal salesmen, Faith Healers and Homeopaths all use this to convince others to hand over either money or glory to the practitioner. Most of these also use/rely on the customer's faith in God to confirm that if the healing doesn't take, then the patient was at fault for not being spiritual enough, either having an incomplete faith in God or otherwise sending off "bad vibrations" and ruining their one chance at good health. But, reluctantly, the healer may be able to try again for another meager stipend... May I suggest this wonder drug?

There are exceptions to the rule, however: The best (currently most popular) example would be Kevin Trudeau's "Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You To Know About", which pimps his subscription-only website. The reason why he does this is because he's not actually allowed to sell a book proclaiming cures on infomercials, given his history. If he keeps getting into trouble with the FTC and fined considerable amounts ($2 million in one case), why does he keep pushing bad science? Well, that's because it sells: he spends almost $1 million dollars a week to get his infomercial on the air, so you can imagine what he's making in return.

Now, how does it sell? Look at the title of his book, and that will tell you all you need to know. Make people feel like they are in on a big big secret, and that gives a sensation of power: the old "I know something you don't know" tauntfrom childhood in adult form. In Turdeau's case, "They" is the government; all pharmacists; every pharmacological business in existance; and the entire medical profession. It is apparently no problem for the crowd he sells to to believe that none of the people in the aforementioned professions have families who may be sick with what he professes to "cure", so they're all perfectly happy to keep the secret under wraps.

Which brings us to the CIA.

2) Extrasensory Perception. Yep, age old ESP is certainly one way to go, yielding products like this little wonder pill that professes to "Surpass Human Capabilities by 3,000 Years!" That's right, not one, not two, but three thousand years! Meaning, I don't know, people in the far future will have ESP 100 times more powerful than they do now?

Quick math quiz: 100 x 0 = ?


3) Atlantis. Or crystals. Oh, my, yes: Atlantis can pump the mony out like you wouldn't believe, or at least like I have a hard time believing. Atlantis gets found about once every two years or so, but never quite seems to produce any actual artifacts or archaeology... unless you count these folks. There are a number of talkative dead folks from there, too, and all sorts of people who are willing to pay to hear them speak... Atlantis and crystals are so intermixed, they are virtually the same con: Atlantis used crystals to power awesome (but Earth-friendly!) technology, so crystals must be powerful, right? It just makes sense! Of course, once you accept that crystals are powerful and have wonderful abilities all on their own (as compared to actual use), they can come from anywhere. They are especially used in Alternative Healing (see above).

4) Talking to the Dead/Tarot/Palmistry. These use what is called "Cold Reading", which is all about using cues that the customer provides, usually unconsiously. With a combination of leading question from the practitioner and a lot of wishful thinking on the part of the customer, using this well should require as few questions as possible, and damn few direct statements that cannot be translated in at least three ways. Tarot and Palmistry at least have argeed-upon sets of rules that can be learned by anyone, so the "magic" comes in the translation of those rules. For example, should the customer be the most typical person, they will be female and either quite young (teens) of middle aged (40 or so). The first question should be probing, and it can be literally "Why are you here?" or "Is there something specific you wish to know?" In either case, questions should be made like statements. Question two would be something like this:

"There is a young man..."

Yes, that's a question, and the pause (there will be lots of pauses) will be to see what kind of reaction it gets, positive or negative. If it's the older woman, add the words "...in your past." Look to see if she's married (ring or ring indent), and if you want to be bold, you can also say "...but he's lost to you." This can be an old lover; a dead or missing son (or even one that's left home); a father who left or died when they were young; an abortion; or a miscarriage, which is a reasonably common occourrence (15-20%). Remember that the customer who visits one of these people is doing so for a reason, and will try filling in the blanks for the "psychic" as they go along. Disturbingly, the more emotionally distraught the person is, the easier the job becomes since the customer will usually start blurting out information at the slightest prompt; all the practitioner has to do is look sad and wise, nodding sagely.

Much the same start applies to men (opposite sex, of course - even gay men have mothers, sisters and sometimes daughters), but about a quarter of the time the question is about work, far more frequently than for women, which is why that opening question is so important.

Doing one-on-one readings are fairly safe, but for the sure thing you want to go with a crowd. For the best example of how Cold Reading in a crowd "works", go here for a 13-step guide. At it's heart, a cold reader can make more exacting guesses with a larger crowd than with a smaller one. For instance, one in fifty people in the audience (primed and desperate for miracles, remember) may have had an older brother die recently, but in an audience of two hundred that's virtually a lock, so they can go ahead and say "an older brother misses someone here..." instead of "a male relative misses someone here...".

There are, of course, many cons that do not rely on mystical ooby-goobies (technical term, that), and simple, rational thought will help with those, too. But that's for later. Now, I'm for bed, to dream of untold riches that could have been mine...

The Easy Way, Pt. 2
The Easy Way, Pt.3

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posted by Thursday at 8:52 pm 0 comments

Politics: PR? Your Job's In PR?

There is one feature of blogs that people really should be aware of before they start: it is very easy to find the writer's identity. Most folks who do write online are perfectly aware of this; some aren't, and try to keep themselves anonymous; some (like yours truly) use nicknames.

But any kind of anonymity you wish to keep is pretty much DOA if you sign your real name to your blog. This means you have to be a little careful if you intend to either be political (like Monte Solberg) or decide to call yourself a reporter and do a puff piece on a white supremist group like Stormfront. (No, I'm not linking to Stormfront again.)

One thing to always bear in mind is that whatever you write can be used against your if you're in the public eye. One group that should know this, other than politicians, is someone who calls himself a "public affairs consultant". At least he was a volunteer instead of an official member of the Liberal Party, but that's just being thick, whatever your affiliation...

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posted by Thursday at 8:41 am 0 comments

December 26, 2005

Other: Celebrate Your Way...

...And I'll celebrate mine.

While I don't actually celebrate either Christmas or the Mithraian celebration of light or Festivus or even Koreshmas, I do celebrate having the day (or two) off! My own traditions for the day?

1) Traditional Christmas Lasagne;
2) Box of Turtles;
3) We go nowhere, no one visits us;
4) What can only be called a truly alarming amount of sex.

If there are a better set of Christmas traditions, I can't imagine them.

Enjoy!

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posted by Thursday at 12:25 am 0 comments

December 20, 2005

Hockey: Best Guesses

Enough silliness about Federal Elections and such nonsense! Time to get down to what's important: conjecture about who Canada is going to name for Turin (or Torino if you want to go native). I'm keeping it to the previously named long list, though there is an exception or two I'd have liked to see considered.

Who I'd take:

Forwards:

Ryan Smith, Edmonton (Captain or Alternate)
Joe Sakic, Colorado (Captain or Alternate)
Joe Thornton, San Jose
Dany Heatley, Ottawa
Eric Staal, Carolina
Rod Brind'amour, Carolina
Simon Gagne. Philidelphia
Patrick Marleau, San Jose
Steve Sullivan, Nashville
Paul Kariya, Nashville
Jason Spezza, Ottawa
Jarome Igina, Calgary
Vincent Lecavalier, Tampa Bay

Defence:

Dan Boyle, Tampa Bay
Wade Redden, Ottawa
Scott Niedermeyer, Anaheim (Captain or Alternate)
Rob Blake, Colorado (Captain or Alternate)
Chris Pronger, Edmonton
Dion Phaneuf, Calgary
Adam Foote, Columbus

Goaltenders:

Curtis Joseph, Phoenix
Roberto Luongo, Florida
Marty Turco, Dallas

Taxi Squad (Teams are allowed three extra players in case of injury):

Robyn Regehr, Calgary
Brad Richards, Tampa Bay
Jason Allison, Toronto

I can't believe Hockey Canada hasn't called me yet; they'd be mad not to take my advice on this!
Ah, well, they did well enough last time that hubris may be setting in for them...

Oh, one player I'd take not on the long list? Goalie Manny Fernandez, leaving Turco home. Astounding save percentage this year (and over the past several seasons), and I think he deserves the trip, even if it is as a third.

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posted by Thursday at 10:04 am 2 comments

December 16, 2005

Other: Favorite Philosophy Joke

Apparently, I've got the signs of a migrane headache (blurred vision, aversion to light, feeling like when you cough, this happens), and so, in the tradition of my favorite Math and Science jokes, my favorite Philosophy joke!

Q: Dualist or "binary" thinking has done human societies more harm than good, yes or no?

A: Do we get extra credit for irony?


Side note: the picture is from Scanners. Extra "inside joke" about Cronenberg giving that role to Louis del Grande was that del Grande played a psychic news reporter on the television show "Seeing Things" at the time.

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posted by Thursday at 11:25 pm 0 comments

December 15, 2005

Religion: Mine's Not Better Than Yours, But...

... It's the only one that deserves legal protection.

Yes, Virginia, now Christmas is so weak and brittle that only House Resolution 579 can save it!

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posted by Thursday at 11:12 pm 0 comments

Sex: At Least They Didn't Burn Any Villiages.

As we all should know by now, sex, especially among willing (and enthusiastic) adults is wrong, wrong, wrong. Just ask four members of the Minnesota Vikings footabll team.

From WCCO television in Minnesota:

(WCCO) Minneapolis Note: This story contains graphic descriptions of situations that some may find objectionable.

Hokay, for those already titilated, the "graphic descriptions" consist of the words "oral sex" and "used a sex toy", so settle down already. In any case, the pared-down version is this: two of the Vikings rented a couple of boats for a charter; there were several fans as well, and apparently some professionals of a different variety. All told, there were at least 90 people on the two boats, and as soon as the craft were floating away from dock on Lake Minnetonka, some of the women got changed into something a little more little. One of these women had oral sex performed on her, and a player used a "sex toy" (but WHICH ONE? Inquiring minds want to know!) on two women. A couple others had lap dances where they touched the women. The women, you may note, are not the ones filing the charges: the owners of the charter company are.

For these activities, the players face criminal charges. Despite witnesses saying that there was no shortage of indecent bahaviour on both boats by many of the participants, four of the football players are being singled out and charged. Personal opinion? The fellah who gave a lady head (and received some in return) should be held up as a fine example of a role model for young men to emulate: the best relationships are a matter of give and take. There are certainly wosre things Vikings have done throughout the ages...

The lesson to be learned from all of this? If you're a pro athelete, making a lot of money, buy your own damn boat.
posted by Thursday at 10:14 pm 0 comments

Politics: Letters to the Editor

Now, I know I posted this in May during our local election, but I think it warrants another look for the national stage:

So I know this fella, name’s Bob. Pretty smart guy, we get along okay, don’t agree on everything, though. Likes his politics, and so do I, so that’s something we disagree about.

So one day reporter calls him up, asks him a bunch of questions. Day after, story in the paper appears sayin’ “Lake Cowichan Sez This” and “Lake Cowichan Sez That”, which is a pile of nonsense to start with, ‘cause it was just Bob sayin’ it. Then there’s an Opinion piece that says that Lake Cowichan is Right! Go figure.

Anyhow, next day there’s three Stories and two Opinion Pieces about what Lake Cowichan Said, and Why They Said It. Only in two of the pieces, Lake Cowichan has turned into Opinion Poll. Now, I don’t know where the town of Opinion Poll is, but apparently Bob lives there, too, because it was the same things he said.

That night, I saw two stories on the TV talking about Opinion Poll, and only one talking about the actual issues at hand. And I thought “What’s wrong with this picture?” Figured it out soon enough:

I don’t care what Opinion Polls say. That’s just Bob, and I can find out what Bob thinks by asking him. What I do care about is what the issues are, and what the people who want my vote have to say about them. So I figure that I, and everyone else who wants to hear what the actual issues are rather than what Bob says, will be sending this out to any media outlets that report on Opinion Polls on the front page or as the lead story. Every time.

See, I don’t care if the folks I like are up front or dead last. But I’ve gotta hear what they say before I know who I like, without Bob’s Opinion getting in the way.

May I humbly suggest copying this letter (or writing one of your own, of course) and sending it to any media outlet that loses track of what the important stories come election time are?

Back to modern times: is there any reason why a party more popular than the Bloc Quebecois isn't allowed to take part in the debates?

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posted by Thursday at 12:00 pm 0 comments

December 10, 2005

Motorcycles: Depression and Cure

So, in the process of handing my Triumph to a dealer to sell, I seem to have become involved in a domestic dispute. The doors of the shop have been closed for a month now, and I have no information on what is happening, or when. Apparently, the shop owner's current roommate is a bit of a crackhead.

Unhappy camper, me.

On the uplifting side, Moto Guzzi is bringing the Griso to North America this year, at a price of about $15,500 (about $5,000 less than I originally thought it might). So I'll be attending the Vancouver International Mototcycle Show on the last weekend in January. Yee-, may I say, -HAW!

Tiding myself over until then, I found a little clip showing scenes from the Isle of Man Tourist Trophy, of an unknown year. It may help you understand my... issues... with riding. We'll be in England just as next year's festival gets underway, I've just noticed. I may have to extend the vacation a few days at the end of May...

Enjoy!

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posted by Thursday at 1:05 am 0 comments

December 08, 2005

Politics: They've Got (Christmas) Balls!

This little time into the campaign, and yet somehow it's more than enough time for politicos to open wide and say "mpgffgh".

Hey, you try talking past a couple size nines!

Since RevMod is doing just fine on the gaffes front, I'm going to dish on the riskiest moves by the various folks involved here in the Sillier Season:


House of Orange: The 80's Porn Star could have been called (and has been) on his back-and-forth on tossing (2004) or keeping (2005) the Clarity Act, but that wasn't so risky as the thought that the Clarity Act could be repealed caused a wee bit of a firestorm. So I'm going with his speech in Quebec on Tuesday. That in itself is no big deal, the guy's from Quebec: it's more what he said. Like a home retrofit plan to upgrade many of the country's houses (which is actually pretty cool), as well as a "tough, new" Poluter Pay act, Clean Water Act, Clean Air Act, and reducing greenhouse gasses by 25% by 2020. Asked to go into detail about the last, he replied "We don't have all the details worked out yet." That takes balls.

Nobody Understands Us Party: Spooky is letting the company of Gloat, Chortle and Hubris run his campaign so far, to apparently little effect. It's early on yet, but constant talk of not only having his own army, but also his own espionage branch and a seperate team from Quebec entering international competitions is going to be tough to beat. Unless you count telling everyone that "A vote for the Bloc is a vote for seperation!" This, coming from a man who wouldn't be the new leader of the new countrified Quebec - that would be one of these folks. Ballsy.

Team Blue: Plastic Man (God, doesn't that guy ever look comfortable?) announced a cut to the GST, from 7% to 5%, even though it wouln't actualyl happen for another five years even if they get a majority government. Whether the cut is going to be a simple chop or a return of the hidden taxes that the GST replaced, he didn't say. One place that this could certainly bite him in the ass is in Quebec, where the GST is taxed provincially: that's right, there is a provincial tax on the federal tax! A cut on the GST would therefore lower provincial revenues, and it won't take much for the Parti Quebecois to start the cry of "Won't Get Screwed Again!" He may not have known about the tax situation in Quebec, but if he did, that's heavy, steel balls he's got.

Perpetual Party: Harper was going to win this, right up until Mr. Dithers brought out the, uh, little guns. Promising a ban on handguns, while I'm personally fine with it, is going to bring up one big, ugly image from the recent past: Gun Registry Monolith, anyone? The registry has been not just an ablatross around the Liberal's collective neck: it's been a bloated, festering, reeking weight that isn't getting covered up, no matter what potpourri they try. Martin's not just whistling past the graveyard after midnight, he's deliberately opening a day care next to a dingo farm. And for this, I'm saying that as of December 8th, the PM's got the biggest balls of them all.

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posted by Thursday at 9:32 pm 0 comments

December 07, 2005

Politics: If It's Not One War...

The "War on Christmas!" is actually a war on so much more than that, if only certain folks would realise it! Keith Olberman helps explain.

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posted by Thursday at 11:10 pm 0 comments

December 04, 2005

Science: Constant Upgrades

Re-evaluation of methodology is one of those things that helps determine whether you're looking at something that has scientists involved or not. If a discovery is made that improves a procedure in a noteable way, it will be adopted, even as the new method is examined for possible flaws or inefficiencies.

And so it is with CPR. The new recommendations are for 30 chest compressions for every 2 breaths instead of the 15/2 ratio currently used. (Note that this is for applying CPR on your own: increase the breath frequency if there is someone there to help you.) There is still a question as to whether cardiopulmonary resuscitation or an automated external defibrillator is a better choice (if one is available). An AED was recently used when Jiri Fischer of the Detroit Red Wings had a seizure with cardiac arrest on the bench during a game against Nashville, and it's low price (about $1500) has many people wondering if they shouldn't be part of every medical supply room in stadiums across North America. They are only if people are trained with them and present to help, but the same is true of CPR.

This is the second major procedural change I can remember since first learning CPR: the "chest thump" was found to be far less effective than compressions, even if the compressions were applied slightly wrong.

Back to class for me, I guess!

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posted by Thursday at 6:15 pm 1 comments

December 02, 2005

Other: Spamalot!

Well, I just received a piece of junk mail spammed out by a virus infecting my parent's computer. It's not something they'd forward, because it's quite a repulsive little thing and they're very good about not forwarding things to me.

On the down side, I tend to be rather sensetive about the issues it raised, and started to write a response before actually reading it through. Fortunately, I came to after I started replying to the spam, but before I sent it. So it killed a little time AND got a bit of vitrol out. Quite
handy, actually:

Are you fucking KIDDING me? You really think that I, the HUSBAND OF AN IMMIGRANT, am really the right person to send this kind of brainless, jingoistic crap to?

Really?

Well, let's go over this together then, shall we?

Subject: This is an article printed in the Toronto Star, CANADA

First off, despite the subject line, I seriously doubt that this drivel would appear in a national paper, even one as frankly "entertainment oriented" as the Toronto Star. Sorry, between the hyperactive punctuation, amateurish paragraph breaks, changing font, poor capitalization choices, even varying colours, fer Christ’s sake! This wouldn't even appear on their "letters" page. I've taken the liberty of making the rant a little more readable. What this actually is is a screed that’s been orbiting around the US for quite a while now, just modified for North-of-the-border use.

Will we still be the Country of choice and still be Canada if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries that came to live in Canada because it is the Country of Choice??????

You do realize that without immigration, we'd have a negative population growth, right? Just making sure, because whoever wrote this dreck doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would look things up. (We seem to be fine for question marks, though, don't we?)

Think about it!

Love to.


All we have to say is, when will they do something about MY RIGHTS?

"We" have to say that, do "we"? My RIGHTS seem in fine working order, but if yours are in a state of disrepair, let's see what we can do about them, shall we?

I celebrate Christmas...........but because it isn't celebrated by everyone..............we can no longer say Merry Christmas. Now it has to be Season's Greetings.

Again, it's something "we" have an issue with. I don't say "Merry Christmas", but then I'm not Christian. If someone says Merry Christmas to me, I usually say “Thanks, you too.” Just like if someone tells me “Happy Solstice” or “Season’s Greetings”. See how that works? Everyone, on the other hand, does go through the season.


It's not Christmas vacation, it's Winter Break. Isn't it amazing how this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday?

A flat-out genius wrote this piece, I’m telling you: yes, Winter is indeed the season Christmas happens in: that’s because (I’ll type slowly so you can follow along) it’s when the solstice occurs. Think hard now: when are shepherds outdoors at night tending their flocks? Lambing season, and that’s not December 25th.

We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that.
This says it all!

It’s offensive to consider your neighbours’ cultures? Interesting: only one thing is allowed to be celebrated, and that’s my thing – everything else is silly or wrong. Or offensive, of course.

This is an editorial written in a
Toronto newspaper. He did quite a job; didn't he? Read on, please!

*Sigh* I suppose I’ve come this far. I’ll try not being too annoyed by the utter lack of specifics as to who wrote this, or where or when: a “he” in “Toronto newspaper” doesn’t exactly narrow it down for me…

IMMIGRANTS,

(The big red letter kind, anyways)

NOT Canadians

(Because IMMAGRANTS are NOT Canadians)

MUST ADAPT.

(With big letters.)


I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we
are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11,
we have experienced a surge
in patriotism by the majority
of Canadians.

Ah, where to start…? There’s a bounty of riches in this one little half paragraph alone, isn’t there? The writer (Still nameless: I think I’ll call him “Binky”) is concerned with the nation’s worries. Well, that’s awfully sweet of him, isn’t it? I just love it when someone takes it upon themselves to tell me what I’m worried about. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy just knowing he cares! Now, what exactly is this “surge of patriotism” Binky’s talking about? How did it manifest itself, exactly? Did everyone Binky knows get a maple leaf tattooed on various and sundry body parts? Spontaneously break out into “Oh, Canada” on street corners? Start carrying hockey sticks? If this surge happened to the majority of Canadians, surely the Canadian Medical Association Journal would have picked up on at least some of the symptoms?


However...... the dust from the attacks had
barely settled when the "politically correct! " crowd began complaining about
the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.

A note about the phrase “politically correct”: when you hear it used by someone complaining about it, odds are pretty good that they have no other reason for acting like an asshole. They want to act like one, but they don’t want to be called on it, so they accuse anyone who says “You’re being an asshole” of being “politically correct”.


I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Canada

…And some of my best friends are black!


Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants.

Oh, you noticed! How very clever of you!


However, there
are a few things that those
who have recently come to
our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.

Oh, please enlighten me, do!


This idea of Canada being a
multicultural community

One of the features that makes me proudest to be Canadian, yes…?


has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity.

Is actually a flaw! Oh, goody!

As Canadians.......
we have our own culture, our
own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.

We also have a tremendous number of dots, and we’re not afraid to use them.

This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

Oh, get serious! If you want to go back “centuries”, you’ll end up in Europe again! Well, the people Binky has in mind will, anyways. How long ago does someone have to have arrived here before they actually count as part of the Canadian culture, Binky? One hundred years? I guess Chinatown in Vancouver is staying put then, eh? How about one hundred fifty? That’s when those filthy Irish started coming across in droves and changing the culture of Quebec, after all. More years back, then, or are "those people" okay with you?

We speak ENGLISH/FRENCH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language.

Like, say, Ukrainian, or Polish, or any of the other vodka-swilling reprobates that are ruining the culture of the prairies! Wait… We speak French?


Therefore, if you wish to become part
of our society, learn the language!

Which one?


"We Stand On Guard For Thee" is our national motto.

Um, actually Binky, it’s “A Mari usque ad Mari”, which is neither English nor French, but it is old, so I guess that’s okay. It reads “From Sea to Sea” in a language we can read.

This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan.. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women.......on Christian principles.............
founded this nation..... and this is clearly documented.

Good Grief: this isn’t even well translated from the original American, is it? The original had “One Nation Under God”, adopted by the US at the height of the Red Scare, when the Godless Communists Were Coming For Our Women! and all that. Just to be clear about the whole “founded by Christians” thing: I’d like you, Binky, to take a look at the diverse and tolerant world that was Europe during the Age of Exploration. Notice anything? Yes, I’ll wait. *hums* All done? Okay, what you may have noticed is that anyone who wasn’t Christian tended to get killed. A lot. Which means whoo daddy! You’d better be so damn Christian you’re vibrating with it, or, well, you might not be considered Christian enough, if you take my meaning. And if you're not, we’ll take your land, your women, and your heads. Oh, and which of the two variants of Christian that “founded this nation” (amongst the dots) did you have in mind? The French aren't exactly Protestant, you know. Besides, most of the folks who came here were hoping to make a buck, not a nation.


It is certainly appropriate to display it
on the walls of our schools.

Because, as we all know, there are no Christian schools in Canada. Right?


If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as
your new home.........because

God is part of our culture.

God doesn’t offend me, per se, because I don’t think God exists. The God Botherers annoy me no end, when they insist that their worship, which I think is a private matter, be foisted upon me. People who worship God (and Gods, but you don’t want to hear that) are certainly part of our culture, and always have been. And the single best way to ensure that a holy war doesn’t break out is to keep the Government well out of the God business. Consider: the current Prime Minister is a Roman Catholic, as was the last one, and I do believe that it has been the religion of choice for our national leaders more than any other faith. Is that what you had in mind, Binky? Should that be our national religion?

We
are happy with our culture and have
no desire to change, and we really
don't care how you did things where
you came from.

This isn’t pride in culture, Binky: this is cowering in fear. There’s something different in the world, something you’re not used to, and you’re afraid of it. What you don’t know, and I’m almost sorry I have to be the one to tell you, is that there is no static culture in the world, and there never has been. A society acts and reacts to the forces that act upon it, forces that are from outside or inside itself. That’s because a society consists of people, Binky. And people change.


This is
OUR COUNTRY,
our land, and our lifestyle.

Do I have to register my lifestyle with you personally, Binky? Or just with someone or some organisation or some new government office that you approve of?


But once you are done complaining....... whining...... and griping....... about our flag.......
our pledge...... our national motto........or our
way of life....I highly encourage you to

…Reply to someone who is complaining, whining, and griping…?


take advantage of one other Great Canadian Freedom.......

THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.

You, of course, can do likewise, Binky: that’s what freedom actually means.

It is Time for Canada to Speak up

If you agree -- pass this along;
if you don't agree -- delete it!

A philosophical question: can Irony exist in Ignorance, or does it have to be recognized as such by the speaker for full effect? Allow me to point this out, then: is it time for Canada (of which I believe I am part) to “Speak up”? Or, since I don’t agree, must I delete this odious thing?

AMEN

I figure if we all keep passing this to our friends
(and enemies) it will also, sooner or later
get back to the complainers, lets all try,
please

Not that I’m religious, of course, but are you supposed to add a “PS” after AMEN? Or is this just a little aside you don’t want God to hear?

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posted by Thursday at 12:29 am 5 comments