Small Town Downside

There are plenty of negatives to living in a small town (mostly financial) to go with the positives (fewer people, more woods), but we do balance them out with the magic of vehicles.  Automobiles increase the distance we can find work, play, and things as needed or simply desired: people who tell you that anyone who is poor but owns a car "isn't really poor" is, frankly, talking out their ass because they've either never been poor or live in a major metropolis where a car isn't needed as much.

Or, of course, they get their money by telling people that the poor are actually very rich because they aren't Afghani herders.  This special subset of people are what we call assholes.  But leaving that...

I admit that I have a problem.  I recognize it, I know it's there, and I know I probably should do something about it, but I won't.  My problem is trading in my Hot Young Brit for a Classy Older Italian.  Alas, this meant when things starting going wrong (specifically seizing up in second gear) I needed to find someone for whom the words "Moto Guzzi" didn't inspire fear and dread.  That was a tough find to start with, and when the shop I had found closed after taking apart my bike - handing me back a semi-rolling chassis and a bill - it took a few years to find a backyard mechanic willing to put it back together.  All this because one thing I can't afford is a garage: I've got a roof for my bike, but a lack of walls makes an open engine unhappy.

But I found one!  He was about 100 kilometers away, but he was willing to do it and now it's done.  Huzzah!  My beloved Goose is back and running and, yes, insured just in time for November to turn to December (the bike's timing might not be the only one that's off...), but I've got a couple rides in already and hope to get a few more before the really bad weather gets here.

Unfortunately, said mechanic didn't actually tune the bike, as it needs to run in for a hundred kilometers or so after reassembly, and now I need someone else to do that.  If all else fails, I'll be popping out what tools I have and crossing my fingers.

If there's one thing doing amateur theatre can get you ready for, it's a willingness to improvise.

Playing Catch-Up

Religion

With an election coming up in the US, it looks like people are back to ignoring the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque". Must be a relief to know that any major protest can simply be ignored and/or ridden out until attention goes elsewhere! But even as the Muslims are breathing a sigh of relief, another group gets pushed ahead.

Witches.

Well, I suppose Wiccans generally rather than witches in particular. Bad enough trying to overcome the image of sexually gratifying yourself with a broom handle or being hideously ugly or being in league with the devil; now they have to get past being phenomenally stupid as well.

Politics

...Which brings us to the Tea Party nominees. A boon for anyone who is even marginally progressive in the US, there are over a dozen seats or Republican nominations that went to TP nominated or backed candidates, and not many in the Republican Party are happy about it. Many are making sure to add a huge "fiscal responsibility" angle to their campaigns, despite ample proof over the past twenty years that Republicans are utterly inept at managing national finances.

Even so, Republican nominees that are clearly supported by fervent, single-issue fanatics are more likely to keep the more moderate conservatives at home or even voting in favour of their rival Democrats. Which is, again, a boon for any progressives in that nation.

Sex

So long as the Democrats actually behave like progressives.

President Obama benched a federal court decision on the rather idiotic "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy brought in by former President Clinton because having gays serve openly in the military is apparently still an issue that frightens Americans. The federal court judge ruled that DADT is unconstitutional in a court case brought up by the Log Cabin Republicans (irony alert going off every time those guys are mentioned), but an injunction was granted to the Department of Justice by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals staying the ruling, at least until after the national elections. This comes after a previous effort to have DADT removed passed the House of Representatives but was filibustered by that "Maverick" John McCain.

To clarify: The Democrats got an injunction to keep a law in place that has stopped soldiers from serving in a time of war and cost over $350 million to enforce despite the removal of that policy being a large and very visible promise last Federal election; a group of Republicans (though not the party itself) fought and beat that law, which led other Republicans to decry "activist judges" and defend the Democratic policy.

The rather silly idea that serving beside gays would lead to a dissolution of the military is rather ludicrous, as the US Army has already served alongside gays in the armed forces. As of this date, only two European countries do not allow gays to serve openly in their militaries: Serbia and Greece, who have apparently decided to completely ignore their own military history.

Science

I am not a scientist. There is no possible way I could be confused for one, what with being a high school dropout and essentially unemployable for any white-collar position. So why is it I understand what this story in the Atlantic means better than the person who wrote it? It is long, and it is well written, but the deliberately antagonistic headline that writer David H. Freedman uses as a lead - implying not only that science is unreliable, but also deceitful - does nothing to help Dr. John Ioannidis' major work.

What Dr. Ioannidis did is report on the difficulty in getting accurate results in scientific studies, specifically medical ones. His own headline is also grating, and one that is used by people who don't understand what scientific method is as a catch-all for "proving" that their crackpot beliefs are better than science. Again, the entire point of Dr. Ioannidis' work is that tests have to be more rigorous before they are published, with clear methodology that is open to criticism - in short, more scientific. For a more complete response, check out Dr. David H. Gorski's (who is quoted in the Atlantic article) reply here.

Motorcycles

Missed the entire riding season because I like interesting bikes: my Goose is still out of commission because of the difficulty in getting engine parts for it. Next time, something new, perhaps... Still, looking to sell off my rebuilt RD350 to help pay for it, so I must be dedicated to the Italian.

Since I have a bike already, the next one we bring in is going to the Significant Other. We were looking at the Honda 125, which is a brilliant price and good engineering: under $4500 for a new Honda is tough to turn away from. Alas, it just didn't have the juice we need to travel highway speeds while sharing the road with logging trucks. Kawasaki's 250 Ninja is the next option, with a bit more power and a touch more heft, but after trying it on the road, I still couldn't picture the little thing hauling my fat (210 lbs) corpse around with much alacrity, never mind introducing a passenger to the already taxed shocks.

But this year, Team Green introduced a 400cc size to the stable. It's very much a middle-of-the-road bike, having only 45 horsepower and weighing in at nearly 500 pounds; but as you could probably guess by my ride, I don't mind the extra weight, and the size slips right in to the 201cc-400cc category as far as insurance is concerned. It is also apparently moving into the 650 Ninja chassis, meaning it's going to have more room to move than the 250. The down side is having a price tag that's only $1200 less than the 650, and at $7500 there's going to be a lot of competition at the price, if not at the size. No one else makes the 400cc motorcycles any more, which I admit is my second favourite size (right after 750), so it'll be interesting to see how it sells.

Hockey

Memo to Rick Rypien: if you want to reach out to fans, try Twitter.

Q-Ships Hit The Road

The idea of Q-Ships has been around since the first world war. When the merchant marine ran supplies to Europe, they were regular targets of roaming Wolf Packs of German submarines. Heavily guarded convoys were simply ignored by the sub commanders, but drained fighting ships from other theatres. In response, decoy were used: sub-hunting destroyers disguised as merchant ships who would throw off their camouflage when a submarine surfaced to attack.

Q-ships.

Which leads us to the Smart Car fortwo... with a Suzuki Hayabusa engine. They meet a Ferrari at the quarter mile.

It's The Small Things

Today's conversation with the local auto supply shop:

"Hi, I don't suppose you remember that spark plug I asked you to bring in for the Moto Guzzi?"

"Uh, when was that?"

"Couple of weeks back."

"Lemme just lookya up here... Here we go! Yep got it here."

"Great!"

"In fact, we got four of them."

"I only asked you to bring in one."

"Well, you've got your own shelf here, now."

"Heh. Your faith in my tuning abilities warms my heart."

(Laughs) "So how many would you like?"

"Um. Four."


May I say that you should avoid old Italian bikes if you have a fear of wrenches. They're relatively easy to work on, sure: so long as you continue to work on them. Well, she's worth it.

Dark and Light

First, the less important stuff:

No upset in this year's Final, with the veteran Red Wings taking the series from the upstart Penguins, but kudos to Pittsburgh's lot for fighting until the literal final second. The third period of game five was one of the best I've seen in a long time. A bit of a shame about the game winner, but quite the match.

I would love for this win by Detroit (who used to be based in Victoria, B.C. of all places) to end three myths:

1) Europeans can't captain a Cup winner - though the polar oposite of Yzerman's dragging the team by the scruff of the neck force of will in 2002, Lidstrom's aura of fierce calm proved tremendously effective as other teams blew their cool trying anything to get the Wings off their game;
2) Europeans don't play tough in the playoffs - Zettergerg was one of a few potential candidates who fully deserved the Conn Smythe, three of whom were Swedish);
3) There are no dynasties in hockey any more - Detroit has been an awesone team for 15 years now. That they have "only" won the Cup four times in that span proves that the NHL championship is the hardest one to win in professional sports.

I'd add "3.5) That anyone likes Gary Bettman besides the owners (and even that's changing)" but decided to limit the list to things that people may have thought at one time.

Now to the more important stuff:

A young hockey player named Luc Bourdon died doing something stupid - riding a motorcycle that was far beyond his capabilities when he had a week's worth of experience. The stupid is compounded when it inspires people to write this drivel:

"Maybe another young man will be saved if NHL teams prohibit their players from riding motorbikes. Maybe we'll be spared this terrible emptiness again if they could be stopped from getting on a bike in the first place.

Last week, one scribe opined that the real tragedy of Bourdon's death was that it was preventable; that if these young players were made to understand the dangers of motorcycles, they'd never ride one."

Not even close. If I'm working for someone, I'm working for them: I am not owned by them. I decide what I wish to do with my health, what risks I want to take, and what sort of "lifestyle" (ugh) I'm going to have. The only concern they should have is whether or not I'm doing my job and doing it well. If not, talk to me, send me a reprimand, or have your resident jackal pink slip me. That is, after all, well within your power to do. Beyond that?

Piss off, frankly.

***

On a lighter note, I see that one of the owners of the Nashville Predators has filed Chapter 11, while Research in Motion co-founder Jim Basillie was in the Hockey News this week still looking to purchase a team and bring it into Canada, something both NHL Commissioner Bettman and the Toronto Maple Leafs have been actively fighting.

Lots of love to you both!

Funny Story

*Ring ring*

"Hello, RECycle."

"Hi, it's me. Any bites on my bike and sidecar?"

"Yeah."

"Great! What did -"

"We sold it."

"What?"

"So if you want to come in and we'll settle up -"

"When did that happen?"

"Oh, a couple of weeks back. So when you want to come in we'll settle up."

***

I have no idea when they were planning on telling me, but at least this rather horrible experience is ended. Now I can afford to get my Goose on the road!

Loud Pipes...

...Ban Bikes.

I was wondering when this would start:

Since July First of this year, motorcyclists in Denver have had to ride with a ticket on their mufflers proving that they are in compliance with 80 dB bylaws.

This is in direct response to insecure idiots who want to make as big a noise as they can. There is NOTHING to loud pipes other than a whining refrain of "look at me look at me look at me", and there never has been.

A big part of the appeal of motorcycling is standing out from the crowd. This is true for all bikes: cruisers, crotch-rockets, touring rigs, even standards. Every one of us wants to be independent, an individual who is loosely affiliated with others on two wheels but ultimately rides alone. There's a swagger that comes with the helmet, and a sneer for those dressed in "fashion leather": useless, pretty boy stuff without even pockets for armour. We're taller in our boots.

But.

For all our determined (some would say desperate) separation, we need a crowd to be separate from. No use rebelling when there's nothing to rebel against, despite Brando's best efforts.

So we loves us a crowd.

And, just like the kids who can't build a damn thing so they break stuff instead, some of us aren't able to draw attention on looks alone. So we do it by being assholes instead.

The idea of "Loud Pipes Save Lives" is simple idiocy. Ever heard of the Doppler Effect, Bucky? A coffin-driver may hear you, but they'll have no idea what direction you're coming from: they'll only hear you when you're past them, and then your loud pipes will be as useless as teats on a bull. And it's not just the drivers you're annoying.

I live in a valley. With certain bikes, I can hear them from inside my house for a good sixty seconds after they've left town. Don't think sixty seconds is a long time? Punch up the clock on your 'puter and listen to this. (Too old to hear that? Try this one.)

Ed Moreland, the AMA's vice-president of government regulations, insisted that the rule would force motorcyclists to use only those mufflers provided by the original manufacturers:

"That would force everyone who drives a Ford to return to the Ford dealer and get the exact replacement muffler every time their exhaust system wore out."

Ed's got it completely wrong on this, of course; just like the emission standards that didn't kill off auto manufacturing, despite the best predictions of doom and gloom. The free market simply came up with a better design on engine. In the same way, if muffler manufacturers have to stay within certain limits, they will.

The rather pathetic excuse that regulation mufflers "kill the power" is utter nonsense, too: most bikes have far more power than the people riding them can use (170 horses in a 500 lb machine, anyone?). Even the most relaxed-breathing ("race only" - heh) pipes only add 3-4 horsepower at best.

What it really comes down to is basic math:

[cars outnumbering bikes by 1000 to 1 ratio] + [living in a democracy] = incredibly annoyed voters ban bikes from region.

So why do some of us insist on loud pipes? I have a theory (other than the "belligerent asshole" one):

Most riders don't bother with ear plugs, so between the bike noise and the wind blast (it happens in full face skid lids, too) most older bikers can't hear a damn thing, so perhaps it's akin the old women who's sense of smell has completely deteriorated so they soak themselves down in whatever scent was popular when they were in their teens.

It's called "recapturing your youth through delusion"; and some people think it works.

Oh I Wish, How I Wish...

...I had a tank.

Memo to car drivers: keep your excuses to yourself.

Disloyal, Yes; But It's What I Want

So, I've finally done it. I traded her in. I've gone from a wild young Brit to a classy older Italian.

My 1998 Triumph Speed Triple is not in my possession any more. In her place is a 1978 Moto Guzzi 850T, and I couldn't be happier. Not that I wish to speak ill of my former companion, of course! It's just that she was... well, trouble.

The Triple was a corrupting influence WAY too often for me to use it as a commuter. It was the epitome of a "hooligan bike" - when you rode it, you rode like one. Absolute howl - on the weekends. But I need a daily ride, not just a part-time thing.

Hence the change.

Add to that the fact that I've always wanted a Goose, and you've got yourself a perfect, for me, trade. Nothing wrong with that old transverse-twin tractor engine that I can tell!

Variety!

A good-news/bad-news sort of day today…

Good news: found work after being unemployed for a few weeks.

Bad news: it’s not playing with electricity, as I had hoped.

Good news: it’s at a u-brew place, and the Significant Other and I do a lot of that!

Bad news: holy crap, this looks complicated!

Good news: my sidecar is finally ready to be picked up. Thanks, R.E. Cycle of Chemainus!

Bad news: after seven months of waiting and four blown “ready by Friday” deadlines, the bill was $500 higher than the estimate given three weeks ago. Thanks, RE Cycle of Chemainus!

Good news: we had the money to pay for it, as the S.O. had a recent payday.

Bad news: it wobbled out of the parking lot and until about 60km/h, traveled for about 100 metres, then when I braked to turn right onto a quiet little side road and get it home, it pulled across the fast lane and slammed into the meridian.

Good news: the trucks following me had good brakes.

Bad news: I don’t have enough (read: any) experience with sidecars to know if it was a bad set-up or my riding that caused the accident.

Good news: fairly minor damage to either the bike or to me.

Bad news: the bike’s not ready to be picked up.

Good news: the shop is repairing it “for Friday”.

Bad news: that’s familiar…

Good news: Um… running out, here…

Bad news: the S.O. is going to be catering away from me for 10 days, starting this weekend, and we need a second mode of transportation.

Good news: I predicted the Ducks would win the Stanley Cup at the beginning of the season.

Bad news: I was stranded in Chemainus.

Good news: Got a ride home from my brother’s wife.

Bad news: woke up my wife, who starts work at midnight.

Good news: home.

Bad news: first day of work tomorrow, and not really ready for it.

Good news: one of our liquor shelves contains (in no particular order) Glenfiddich, Lagavulin, The Glenlivet, Bushmills (original), Bushmills (16 year malt), Highland Park, Aberfeldy (enjoying now), Talisker, Knockando, The MacAllan, Blair Athol, Dalwhinnie, Glenkinchie, and for some reason Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. I think that last is in there because the shelf is high enough for the bottle to fit.

Bad news: we’re out of Oban, and won’t be able to afford to replace it for a while because the bike cost so damn much.

But other than that, doin’ fine!

Good Enough or Good?

Music is something I normally listen to while reasonably stationary - sitting in a vehicle, at work, or sitting around on the 'puter. I haven't had a Walkman since high school (high tech stuff, that!), and there are a couple radio stations that don't annoy me often that I can listen to.

Then the Significant Other picked up an iPod. She loves it, providing her with hours of entertainment managing playlists, creating party soundtracks, playing musical games with herself (for instance, the current song must mention the title or theme of the next) etc. I used it on occasion, mostly at work with a set of external speakers, but otherwise it didn't mean much to me. We added that doohickey that lets it broadcast over your car speakers, and that was neat, but still, it wasn't a major revelation.

Eventually, by the way, this post will be about motorcycles.

I was listening to it today, carrying it around with me as I wandered from shop to shop, running errands. It was phenominally easy to use. The interface worked flawlessly, and with minimal instruction I could tell how to do what (and how loudly) inside a minute. I jumped from playlist to playlist; selected out individual artists; and moved about the catalogue with ease. The ear phones were comfortable.

It was delightful.

On the strength of this, as much as anything else, we are very likely to purchase a macintosh as our next computer when this old PC finally dies. The obvious work that went into the interface of the iPod and the attention that went into the design has convinced me that the change, which will no doubt take a little while to get used to, will be worth it.

Work in one branch of Apple has led us to another.

There are few companies in the world as famous as Harley-Davidson. I am willing to bet that every single person that just read that name has an idea of what a Harley is: not just that it's a motorcycle, but off all the things that surround it. Ever since Willie G. bought the brand name back from AMF, they've worked hard at maintaining the brand (as numerous copyright infringement lawsuits can attest) and improving the product, even if the result wasn't what H.D. traditionalists were dreaming of.

Eventually, they were told by marketing that a huge porportion of first-time Harley buyers were women, so they tageted their marketing appropriately. Women often buy cruisers as a first bike, as they are lower to the ground than most sport, naked, or dual-purpose bikes; they often start with metric (Japanese) cruisers because they are smaller than Harleys, and many of them eventually "graduate" to Harley-Davidsons, the bike they really wanted. Such is the strength of the brand name.

(Side note: women on bikes get approached because guys know what to talk to them about. Try it - you'll see.)

But the company did end up waiting until they were told that women were buying their bikes before marketing to them specifically. It was a plan that occured to them late, after being told by salesmen to dealers to marketers to head office, who then planned a marketing strategy targeting people who ride smaller cruisers in addition to current Harley riders. The folks who rode bigger cruisers (usually men) were older, and married, and wouldn't mind at all if their wives/girlfriends got bikes of their own (so long as they were smaller). And the people who rode smaller cruisers, well, they could often be "sold up" once they got some experience...

(For a company that totall cocks up this idea, see the National Hockey League, who tend to buy advertisements during their own games. Way to reach new markets, idiots! Rant over.)

Suzuki has taken that idea and increased it dramatically - they are advertising one of their cars as being "As exciting to drive as our bikes", using an attractive couple in mild competition with each other. It's a lie, of course, but it's also a brilliant piece of cross advertising. Everyone knows that bikes are exciting, even if they've never ridden before; and it's a nice reminder to couples who might not be able to buy a car outright, but want a second vehicle that hey! Here's something that's half the cost and a damn sight more fun... They are advertising two items in one commercial, and since buying a motorcycle is far more a visceral decision than a buying a car is, they only need to do the stat-speak on one of them. It's a fantastic move.

But.

There is a coming crisis in motorcycling, and it's the usual reason: an aging populace. Cruisers have been doing well right now partially because of their more comfortable posture when compared to other bikes, and because Ye Olde Baby Boomers finally managed to drive their kids out of their homes and have a bit more money to spend on themselves. Mortgage is lower (or paid off), they've been working a good long while, and they always wanted to learn how to ride, so off they go.

Talking with a few motorcycle instructors, they've seen a dramatic increase in older people (40+) coming in to take classes for either their first time or for refresher classes, having sold their old bikes "when the kids came along" or some similar story. It's been great, and the motorcycling companies have been booming because of it, but it's not going to last, and for a very obvious reason. Hint: it's the same reason why moped and scooter sales are up over the past few years.

The instruction classes mostly use old Honda CB125s, which are nice and mild bikes - very forgiving of overexcited throttle hands or the occasional missed gear. But little bikes sell for far less, and as the demographics were moving upwards in age and experience, production companies moved with them. There aren't many small bikes out there for new riders to buy, so the only option (many feel) is to get an older bike. As a first bike, that's not a bad option, but you do inherit someone else's problems when you buy used, and a faulty first bike can turn someone off riding forever. A customer forever lost.

Enter Honda, once again.

They have launched an agressive campaign, featuring women prominently, for their new 125cc CBRs. That looks a damn sight better, eh? The focus is on easy and fun: it's easy to ride, easy to reach the ground (776 mm seat height), easy to control (119 kilos dry weight) and easy to pay for (about $4250 brand new). They are knocking on instruction school doors, offering fleets at a discount, and even discounts on individual sales if the new rider has taken such a course. They offer package deals on full riding gear, too, from helmet to boots.

And as for fun? Well, it beats the hell out of riding the bus.

They push the economy of the bike, as well. The competition form high-powered scooters has actually become a challenge (step-through bikes are easier to get on and off), so they are sure to describe cost, quality of make, and fuel range.

Yeah, it has a tiny 10 litre fuel tank, but let me put it this way: when the S.O. and I went shopping for a new truck, the best fuel economy was in a 4 cylinder Toyota, which claimed 7.7 litres of gas used for every 100 km driven. The CBR125R? It claims 2.6 litres for the same distance - three times as efficient as the best small truck we could find.

Need that converted? Okay - how does 90 miles per gallon sound?

It's not bare-bones stuff, either: six-speed engine, electronic fuel injection, disc breaks, full fairing, and a four-instrument cluster just like on the big bikes.

Would I get one? Probably not: I ride a lot of highway miles, and little bikes can get blown around pretty easily. The right question is: would I recommend one to a new rider? I haven't been on it yet, but from what I've seen so far, its only competetion is Kawasaki's very impressive zzr250, a bike whose 38 horsepower could be quite a handful for a new rider, especially when compared to the Honda's 13 hp.

Bottom line is, every manufacturer is hoping that Honda's aggressive approach to drawing in new riders works, like Suzuki's pitch to returning riders. Because if not, some manufacturers riding the baby boom are going to go bust.

***

Edit: I stand corrected. Here's a Honda CBR125R for $3400, brand new. Four grand gets you it and the gear. Wow.

Motorcycle Riding Is Safe!

Even when something goes wrong, it's a simple manouver to get back to riding!

***

Looking at the number of items I linked to last post, I think I'll keep these a bit simpler. It takes almost an hour to get through them all!

Motorcycles: Things I Just Don't Get

There has long been a gap or two in sports coverage in North America that I simply don't understand.

The lack of popularity of hockey in the United States, for one. That's changing now, with the massive increase in the number of rinks over the past 10 years directly attributable to NHL expansion. For example, there were two ice rinks in Texas when the Stars came to Dallas, and now there are over a dozen professional hockey teams in that state. It'll be a while, but hockey will become more popular down south.

The other, more puzzling question is why motorcycle racing is actually difficult to find anywhere in North America outside of specialty channels. It's true, there has been frequent internal conflict and politics in motorbike racing, and a confusion of what bikes qualify for which races under what rules. (Part of this is because the technology in race bikes get upgraded every year, making it hard for race organizers to keep up, and believe you me that technology ends up on the street! Imagine buying a car that's 4 or 5 km/h slower and maybe 5kg heavier than a Formula 1 racer for $12,000 to get some idea of what I mean...) But in the real world, those conflicts are boardroom troubles, not things that casual fans care much about, or even know about.

In any case, the strange lack of air time was brought home to me after watching Troy Baliss and Noriyugi Haga fight a brilliant match in the second race at Brands Hatch today. It was on Speed Channel and nowhere else, despite being a fast, tough, and yes dangerous sport. Part of the reason may be because of a dearth of North Americans tiding at the top of the field in World Super Bike competition, but it's not like that's the only circuit out there.

I'm going to mention a few veteran Canadian racers, because I'm Canadian, damnit, and these guys were a few of the best riders in the world and I haven't heard a thing about them in the main stream media up here, even when Canadians Paul Tracy, Jacques Villeneuve, Patrick Carpentier, Scott Goodyear and the late Greg Moore were all racing cars (and doing well, I might add). So here's my small attempt to correct a major oversight in sports.

Pascal Picotte

When Harley-Davidson went back to the race track in 1994 with their VR1000, this is who they eventually chose as their pilot. He brought the technologically-plagued program their only podium finishes in 1999 before they quit racing in 2001. He's raced for Yamaha, Ducati, Kawasaki and Suzuki as well, and has been racing in the American Motorcycle Association championships since 1992. He came back to Canada in 2003, winning the superbike and 600cc championships in 2003 and 2004, and now owns and helps run Picotte Performance while still racing.

His biggest downside is his habit of breaking himself: in this year's Parts Canada Superbike Championship season opener at Shannonville in May, for instance, he managed a fourth place finish despite breaking four vertebrae, a toe, and having injuries to both knees sustained in a pre-season crash in April. July's race saw him finish 3rd, so he seems to be healing nicely.

He's raced karts, stock cars and snowmobiles, too, and has three tracks on his property in his birthplace of Granby, Quebec.

Steve Crevier

The man from Maple Ridge has five Canadian Superbike championships and one AMA 600 Supersport championship and almost 20 AMA podium finishes to his name; he's got the most wins in Canadian roadracing history, was last year's Canadian 600cc champion. For three years (1991 - 93), he was racing in three different AMA streetbike catagories. This year, he doesn't even have a ride in Canada. Go fig.

He is racing a Buell XB-RR in some events of the AMA Formula Xtreme series for Picotte Performance/Deeley Harley-Davidson (finishing 9th in his latest race), but otherwise with Honda pulling it's factory team in favour of the Red Rider privateer support program, he's a pedestrian this year.

Miguel Duhamel

Unquestionably the best street racer ever to come from Canada. Born in LaSalle in 1968, he entered his first motorcycle race in 1976 and the only times he's looked back is to see other riders. You can tell this family loves riding: his brother Mario is also a professional racer, and his father Yvon won the first AMA national superbike race at Laguna Seca in 1974. He's universally respected and (almost) universally liked in the racing world, something that's very rare in any competitive sport.

The 1991 AMA 600 and Daytona 200 champion and 1993 AMA 600 repeat champion was the first rider to race the Harley-Davidson VR1000 in 1994: he even managed to qualify in the front row in Ohio that year, leading the race until the shift lever fell off.

He went back to Honda in 1995, winning the superbike and supersport championships. He's been with Honda ever since, and has amassed an amazing record over his career:

Supersport (600cc)
Five championships
One third place overall
One fifth place overall

Superbike
One championship
Three second place overall
Three third place overall
Three fifth overall

Daytona 200
Five Superbike wins
One Superbike second overall
One Supersport (600cc) win

Formula Xtreme
Two championships

The guy is now 38 years old, but if you think he'd be slowing down, last year was when he won his fifth Daytona 200, his second Formula Xtreme, and got fifth in Superbike. As of this year, he holds the records for the most Supersport race wins (41), the longest winning streak (10 races in a row, 6 in a row in Superbike), the last rider to win the Supersport and Superbike championships in the same year (1995), and is second in career Superbike wins with 32. This year so far he's racing only in the Superbike series, where he has 11 top-five finishes in the first 14 races, sitting him in third place overall. This, on a bike that is still in development, the new CBR1000RR.

This year, he's following well behind the impressive Matt Mladin and a shockingly good Ben Spies, both of whom are riding the rock-solid Suzuki GSX-R1000s. This year, those two are out of reach, but I'd place no bets against him for 2007...


So those are the old guys. Who else is there? Well, I wouldn't be surprised if 27-year old Jordan Szoke got a call from a U.S. team real soon - he's been racing professionally in Canada for 11 years now (you do the math), and has two championships to his credit. Matt McBride is another rider that is well worth watching, but he hasn't been riding very long, so we'll see where he unds up in three years.

Motorcycles: Cabin Fever

I've been off the road for far too long. Normally, I'm a year-round rider, but timing, finances and flat-out bad luck have kept me in boxes all winter. Worse, I wasn't able to make it to the Vancouver International Motorcycle Show this year, and it was too late to get down to The Amazing Meeting in Vegas (best wishes to James Randi for a speedy recovery - think the two are related?). This, after finding out Kari Byron from Mythbusters will be there. *sigh*

Side note: wonder what a Hell's Angel looks like? Third picture down on the right: he bought that bike and loves it.

So the question of what to do to get rid of this twitching throttle hand arises... Well, I did some posts about all the new models available in Canada for cheap last year, and the line-up hasn't changed that much (new models don't very often), so for a change-up I'm going to describe some madness.

There's lots of utter insanity out there, so I'm limiting it to dealer-available crazies. My opinion is what counts here, and why a bike is nuts/surprising is best left to my judgement. Deal. This entire category is in honour of the V-Max, and the astounding Vincent Black Shadow before it.

First up is an oldie but freaky -

Name: Boss Hoss BHC.
Why: Because it fits a 350ci Chevy V8 small block between two wheels. If that's not enough, you could always get a 502 that produces 500 hp. It comes with reverse. Corners? What corners?
Cost: $44,000 for the 350, $52,000 for the 502.


Name: Triumph Rocket III
Why: 2,300cc puts out 140 horsepower without a fairing. Zero-to-sixty miles per in 3.54 seconds, if you can hang on. On the other hand, it actually handles like a motorcycle.
Cost: $23,000


Name: Buell Ulysses XB12X
Why: Want to take a 1200 cc bike off-roading? Big old Harley V-Twin in a dual-purpose frame, anyone who came up with that belongs here. That, pluss the Buells get on the list through sheer funkiness - I mean look at these things!
Cost: $15,000

Name: BMW K1200S
Why: Oky, you've got this rich uncle, see? And he's always been "properly attired", had impeccable manners, and kept his property neat. Then he dies, and you found out that not only did he have four mistresses, he also used to host Romanesque orgies on the tenth of every month. That's a bit of what it's like to have BMW put out a 167 hp sport bike.
Cost: $22,500

Name: BMW K1200R
Why: The uncle that no one talks about anymore, ever since... that time. You met him once: twitching eye, palsied hand and Tourette's Syndrome, but really neat to talk to! Same engine, way different look and none of that annoying fairing to get between you and wind blast.
Cost: $19,000

Name: Ducati Paul Smart SportClassic
Why: One of the great joys of living in modern times is the vast improvement in technology that is available even to us proles. So, nothing like modern technology with 1970's ergonomics, right? Racers rode these because they were paid to, and they didn't take them home afterwards... And it's "SportClassic", so it must be "extreme" (or someone missed the space bar)!
Cost: $18,000

Name: Ducati Xerox
Why: A higher-specification (!) version of the 999R racing bike, with paint to match. Despite the name, you WON'T see another copy of this where you live. The 999R is already $40,000, so one of these models is going to be stealing from the other...
Cost: $42,000

Name: Kawasaki ZX-14R
Why: It's replacing the already awesome ZX-12R. I understand Team Green is a little pissed at losing the "Biggest Bad Ass Production Bike" title to Suzuki's Hayabusa, and they're out to get it back RIGHT NOW! This should be fun.
Cost: $15,700

Name: Suzuki GSX1300R Hayabusa
Why: This is the bike that brought political pressure to bear, forcing production factories to "limit" their bikes to 295 km/h. 'Nuff said.
Cost: $15,000

Name: Yamaha MT-01
Why: Yamaha actually had the balls to release this, and I didn't think they would. A 1670 cc twin engine that has maximum torque at a low, low 3,750 rpm, this is going to be a stump-puller. Not because it can pull stumps out of the ground, but because that's what you'll have for arms if you hit the throttle too quickly. Weird look (is that really Darth Vader's codpiece on the side?), and a risky release for Yamaha, especially at the price. The famous granddaddy psycho bike V-Max only costs $13,000, and they know it sells...
Cost: $16,000

For my money? HA! I got a Speed Triple, remember?

Motorcycles: Mixed Messages

Definitely good and bad in the weekend for me: on the plus side, I finally got Clover back from the dealer I had theoretically given her to for consignment sale back in November.

Dude, sorry you're in the middle of a divorce, but that's still my bike... Still looking to sell her for our trip to Scotland at the end of April (a knitting retreat, of all things).

On the down side, we can't afford the garage where we've been working on the RDs anymore, and are now going to have several frames, engines, and various and sundry bits about the front yard (again). Four bikes, none of them working damnit!

Up side, I got my sidecar home from Seattle - now to get the Honda on the road! Just as a side note: Washington State has a couple weird features on it's highway that I just don't see up here. One is the advertising for whatever company it is that supplies the centre divider - there was a sign every few kilometres bragging about how their product saved lives: don't really know if they're reaching the market they want with me, but... Another was that the speed limit signs are just a number: 30 or 50 or 70, no mention of what the units themselves are of. I thought they had MPH printed on them somewhere, but apparently not. Lastly, I actually got out of my truck after travelling ten minutes or so to see if I had a flat. The highway wasn't so much a single road as it was a series of tarmac slabs, as if it was built by gigantic Romans.

Down side, I wasn't able to make the Vancouver International Motorcycle Show this year. Pisser, that. Ah, well, apparently the Griso isn't coming to Canada this year anyways, and wouldn't be on display. If I had known I wasn't going tot he one, I would have saved for The Amazing Meeting in Vegas. Next year, then! Well, if I can: the Significant Other is agitating for our tenth anniversary to be in Vegas (where we got married, Elvis and all), so more than one trip a year to the same destination is pushing it.

Good news, I found out that Ontario has made testing mandatory for scooters. Why is this good news? By the simple feature that there are going to be fewer boneheads who think that since they already drive a car, a scooter must be a piece of cake, right? After all, two wheels are fewer than four, so they must be half as hard to control...

So once I get my Griso, I have GOT to get me one of these little babies put on... (let the video load - it's worth it!)

Motorcycles: Depression and Cure

So, in the process of handing my Triumph to a dealer to sell, I seem to have become involved in a domestic dispute. The doors of the shop have been closed for a month now, and I have no information on what is happening, or when. Apparently, the shop owner's current roommate is a bit of a crackhead.

Unhappy camper, me.

On the uplifting side, Moto Guzzi is bringing the Griso to North America this year, at a price of about $15,500 (about $5,000 less than I originally thought it might). So I'll be attending the Vancouver International Mototcycle Show on the last weekend in January. Yee-, may I say, -HAW!

Tiding myself over until then, I found a little clip showing scenes from the Isle of Man Tourist Trophy, of an unknown year. It may help you understand my... issues... with riding. We'll be in England just as next year's festival gets underway, I've just noticed. I may have to extend the vacation a few days at the end of May...

Enjoy!

Motorcycles: Etymology

TAR SNAKE (n): A repair of cracking on a paved road that involves pouring tar onto the cracks, sealing them. Very slippery until they have been aged, usually about a week.

In trying to sell my bike, and having no joy from newspapers (I live in a slightly out-of-the-way location), I finally decided to sell it in a shop, giving up a commission. The owner took Clover out for a test ride and got about 20 meters before hitting a tar snake and dropping her.

Fuck.

Ah, well. I guess I'll just have to sell bits of my body so I can afford this beastie, eh? Coming out next year...

Motorcycles: Falling Off Horses

Funny story.

I was taking a friend of ours back to Victoria on Monday (she stayed with us over the weekend - fun was had by all) when the clutch cable snapped. No panic necessary, but it meant stopping along the highway in 30 degree weather in full riding gear.

Which sucks.

I tucked my passenger into some nearby undergrowth for shade and hiked off to find a phone. No problem there, just some sweat and chafing, so I joined our friend in the shade and waited to the Significant Other to come riding to the rescue. A couple hours later, I joked that it would be funny if the truck broke down on the way. Heh. Ten minutes later, the truck arrives...

The power assist for the brakes had given out on the way, which made using said brakes more difficult, but not impossible; so we tossed Clover into the back and strapped her down and limped into Victoria with wife, friend, dog and self packed in the front. Leaving the truck with its cargo at the first service station we found, the friends roommate gave us a ride to my parents place, where we parted ways.

The parents were a little surprised to get a call from their house when they were several hundred kilometers away, but not so much that they couldn't make me feel guilty about never calling them. One awkward conversation (and an encounter with their housesitter) later, the SO and I decided to call up the fellow we're rebuilding RDs with, have him pick us up, take her and the dog back home, then I go to his place and retrieve the one RD that we've got working and I'll ride it home so we have at least one vehicle to get me to work and her back to Victoria the next day.

About this RD: Artie and I have a bit of a love-hate thing going on here; actually more a love-fear thing... Last time I rode this bike, he seized on me as I was turning a corner doing 120 km/h. Not my favorite moment, but it did leave an impression: I was assured that the possibility of this happening again was negligible, that our co-conspirator had ridden it a few times now, and a good distance at fair speed, he even doubled his daughter on it. Don't worry, it's fine. Oh, and the signals don't work, and watch out for the left handgrip - it comes off. Have fun!

This time, I rode Artie home along back roads exclusively: left hand poised over the clutch, ready to disengage the engine at the slightest sign of seizing; checking my mirror and trying to guess if the car behind me will catch up before I needed to signal a turn, and hoping they weren't RCMP... I made it to within 10 klicks of home when the engine started to bog. With a sinking feeling I applied more throttle, vainly wishing it was simnply a "flat" spot on the powerband, but no joy this night. Once I pulled in the clutch, the engine thudded to a stop.

Despite all the reassurances, despite taking apart and inspecting the engine myself, I knew in my heart of hearts that this bike was going to seize again, if out of nothing but sheer spite. Somehow, Artie had found out about Clover, and didn't like being foisted off for anothers use.

Jealousy is an evil, evil emotion.

Happily, two helpful young women stopped to see if I needed aid and offered the use of their cell phone. So one again, I called the wife, my own personal BCAA this day, to come pick me up.

"With what?" came the logical reply. I was going to have to push Artie home.

But, much like those who expect miracles see miracles, I had gone into this ride knowing what would happen. Only under the pressure of possible physical labour did my mind start to consider other possibilities. Like being out of gas. A quick switch to reserve, and home I went. The SO has had Artie all day today, after dropping me off at the ferry to work, and hasn't had any problems.

Except the left handgrip falling off.

Motorcycles: Pride

What is sometimes the most obvious aspect of pride comes through our posessions. Not a specifically bad thing: an artisan values their tool above much else, for instance. But when something is taken from the realm of mere functionality, it can become much more a status symbol. Houses, cars, and wives can take on ridiculous porportions just to make sure that someone is looking at the right time, and in the right way.

Much as I hate to do it, it's time for Clover to go. She's a blast to ride, and if I could afford to I'd keep her for weekends. (Yes, I'm talking about my bike - don't get fresh.) But the engine is a little too eager; there's a little too much vibration; and I just don't take the care of her like I should. So, out she goes.

Here's the trick: one of the things I valued most about owning a Speed Triple is the looks. Not just of the bike, but from the folks around it - it is one sexy damn bike, and the sound of that three cylinder engine is something beautiful. I know I can't replace her with an equal, as you lose money on every vehicle you buy, so what could I get that was at least as interesting...

Well, there's the practical side to consider, too. I commute about 80km a day, and a bunch of that is going to be in rain, so maybe a Vstrom 650? Great engine, fully faired for wind protection, huge gas tank, reasonable to insure - and sold out. There's tha Katana 750: no cutting-edge technology, but a reliable ride that's a capable sport-tourer (just add saddlebags). Then again, I live next to the Trans-Canada Trail, so how about a dual-purpose like the DRZ 400 or a KLR 650? But duallies have tiny little gas tanks, and I don't want to fill my bike every day, and they just don't look that good. No offence - they have to function first, be pretty second. This won't assauge my horrible vanity, though.

Ah, wait. Something distinctive, interesting, and hints of practicality?

Here's an idea...

Now to get a bike that matches.

Motorcycles: Stupidity Is Bad For You

Q: "Why do you ride that thing?"
A: "Because Porsches attract nice girls."

A flip answer, sure, but truer than you may think. The most important part of motorcycling is the visceral response people have to it: just ask any smoking executive.

The inevitable protest is the perceived danger involved, which will get you a shrug. Yes, I've dropped my bike a couple of times, and I've had acquaintances have horrible accidents (inluding a death) while riding, but how many people are still driving right now? With motorcycles, there is no pretense about safety: it's a risk to ride, and no one is going to tell you you're safer than you actually are (unlike, say, SUVs). Yes, they are far more manoeuvrable than any car on the road, but they're also hard to see, have no roll cage, and most drivers have a very difficult time determining what speed bikes are going, meaning we get pulled out in front of a lot.

Your only defence is what the schools yammer about in Drivers Ed: awareness. Knowing what's around you (and who's around you) and playing a bit of "Worst Case What If..." with yourself. Thanks to repeated exposure and pattern recognition, you get better at spotting a dangerous situation with experience. Riding isn't about avoiding risks; it's about minimising them. Your first assumption is that the driver of any other vehicle cannot see you. (Some people say to pretend that they are all out to get you, but that's stupid: millions of them, tens of thousands of us, who do you think would win?)

There was an accident in Victoria Tuesday, involving a cement truck and a motorcycle: no need to tell you which vehicle had the fatality. When police covered the victims body, they draped the tarp over the back of the truck.

Here's what happened:

The truck was stopped at a red light, a little ways back from the pedestrian crosswalk. The rider, a younger man, decided to zip in front of the truck, as any bike is going to accelerate away from a stop faster than 95% of the other vehicles on the road. This isn't like lane splitting, which is legal in most of the civilised world, but rather lane jumping, where the rider has to be in the lane instead of beside it. (I wouldn't try lane splitting here - drivers freak out because they are not used to seeing it, and when a driver freaks at a rider, bad things happen.) So he pulled in front of the truck.

This is a stupid manoeuver for two reasons:

1) the driver of a big truck probably can't see you if you're too close to his nose;
2) the driver of a big truck probably can't see you.

The motorcycle broke down - by eyewitness reports, he couldn't engage the engine when the light turned green. So he was still trying to put it in first when the cement truck rolled forward and over the bike, and the noise of the engine drowned out any unusual sounds the driver may have heard.

I'm never going to say motorcycling is without risks; but it doesn't have to be dangerous. Even if the rider had never had clutch problems before this last ride, it was a stupid thing to do. My wife was taking a riding course when her clutch cable snapped, and if she had pulled the same stunt this guy did, it would have been the same result.

Right now, my sympathy goes to the survivor of the accident.